Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by bluebird on December 4, 2016 at 9:54pm

{{{{{{{{ShingingLight}}}}}}}}

Permalink Reply by Karen Davis on December 5, 2016 at 12:54am

At only three months since my husband died suddenly this site makes me just want to stop living now ( don't worry won't do anything). Does it get easier for anyone out there?

Permalink Reply by Jan on December 5, 2016 at 6:46am

It's so new and fresh for you that you probably won't feel it will get better.  I haven't been on this site long and just told someone yesterday that I don't know if I'll continue on it.  I'm almost feeling like I'm going backwards instead of making strides forward when I read some of the things.  It takes me right back where I don't want to be.  It feels good to be able to express how you feel when you don't think anyone else understands and you find so many that do, but I'm finding at times I feel worse instead of better, which is not what I want.  Please, if you have any faith in Jesus, try to get a book called Through a Season of Grief.  It is comforting in ways even with all the loss everyone has been through.  Also, look into Grief Share groups. Look them up online.  You can even sign up for the daily e-mails from the Season of Grief book is you don't want to buy one.  I have both.  I'm looking into another group that starts soon.  They're held at churches but you don't have to be religious or belong to a church to go.  I checked myself into a hospital at the stage you are at so I do sympathize with how you feel.  This is not an uplifting site but it does help sharing with people who can get what you feel.  God Bless you and all the rest of us going through this pain.

Permalink Reply by CJ Moore on December 5, 2016 at 5:30am

I am so sorry for your loss. I want to say 'Happy Anniversary' to you, but I went through that one too and somehow that sentiment doesn't seem appropriate. I chose to do nothing on our wedding anniversary hoping that it would pass just like every other day since he died. It worked. Up until night time. Then I fell apart because it was not just any other day. November 14 marked 'the year' and I refuse to call 'that day' an anniversary. Like you, I struggled to figure out what to do. I also was concerned about our 17 year old son. Should have I done something 'special' with him? It just happened to be a 'super moon' day and my husband was so much into that kind of stuff, I thought maybe somehow it would be spectacular and I could fool myself into thinking that was special. Long story short, my usually emotionless son had a 'good' cry with me. I went out that night in search for the perfect view of the moon. It was a cloudy night so no perfection was found. I sat in a parking lot waiting for the perfect emotion to arise. When it didn't, the only thing I could feel in the depth of my bones was 'Where are you Ed?'. This past month has been just as hard as the ones before. Nothing changed. But I don't want to sound like I have no hope, because I do. I will be honest and say my hope does NOT feel genuine, but it is what I cling to right now. Simply said, I am so very sorry for yours and your family's loss. It just is not fair.

Permalink Reply by Jan on December 5, 2016 at 6:33am

My husband loved Christmas. He had to teach me to love it again.  My father deserted our family at Christmas..left my mom with 5 kids to raise alone and no job or money.  Not a happy time of year starting around Thanksgiving knowing what came after.  Our last holiday together we spent with our youngest daughter and her family. Great time.  For his sake, I'm going to try it again this year. 

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on December 5, 2016 at 9:06am

My beloved husband died last year on Dec. 27th.  How will I live through Dec. 25th?  I want to go to sleep  for a week and wake up after New Year's. 

I want him.  I get mad at him for leaving me.  I know if he could come back to me he would.  I can hardly bear the thought of Christmas. 

I keep playing our song.  "How Deep is the Ocean".   Frank Sinatra.  Then I cry more.  At least when I cry he is with me.....I know he is with me.

I wish he would come and take me.  I can't stand this.

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on December 5, 2016 at 11:23pm

     All of us go through a grief stage of anger....many have been there, and if not yet,  everyone will.   I hope you will have someone with you now and during the holidays.   Please let us know how you are doing through this season.   You probably have a lot of wisdom for those of us in the same boat.