Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on December 1, 2016 at 10:41am

It never goes away.  Today Dec. 1st.....John died last Dec.  I got hysterical when I realized this is THE month.  I am making a good life and trying to get along but I would give ALL of my tomorrows for 24 hours with him.  We are here.

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on December 1, 2016 at 11:38am

Welcome, Connie.    Glad you joined us.   We can always use encouragement from the people in this group.  It's been 14 months for me.  I know what you mean about being in a lonely house, (even though I have family here at night.)   Feel free to share your feelings when you want.

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on December 1, 2016 at 11:41am

Oleta,,  hope you have someone with you today, to help you through the day.  My children and grangchildren spent "THE DAY"  with me (September 27th), and it was very helpful.   Also, we are here for you if you need to vent.

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on December 1, 2016 at 2:39pm

 Elynn, thank you for your note, my oldest child will be with me on Christmas and on the 27oth.  I really wanted to be alone but I understand my son's concern.  Nothing prepares you for this does it.

I was in the grocery store earlier and a song John loved came on.  I couldn't help crying.  There are no words are there.  I still hear his voice, feel his presence.  I miss him so much.

I'm glad we can all console one another.

Thank you.

Permalink Reply by Ruthie on December 2, 2016 at 10:17am

Oleta, I am the same way, I would prefer to be alone, but our daughter, who is 27, wants me to stay with her and her husband on Christmas weekend.  I feel my husband's presence also. Although it seems I forgot what his voice sounds like, which makes me sad.

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on December 1, 2016 at 2:09pm

Connie,

I am so sorry for your loss, I live in Florida and tonight they are having a "Tree of Life" ceremony honoring all those loved ones we have lost. It is a beautiful ceremony, they light candles and put the name of your loved on on a Christmas tree. It is just so heartwarming after losing my Husband 3 1/2 years ago to cancer.

Permalink Reply by Connie Heinle on December 2, 2016 at 10:50am

What a beautiful picture and a wonderful tribute to your husband! I took part in two memorial services, one at my church and the other at the church where I attend the grief support group. We never forget.

Permalink Reply by Ruthie on December 2, 2016 at 10:13am

Welcome Connie, we are about on the same loss time frame. I lost my husband 1-7-2016.  This site has helped me and just reading how others feel and that you are not alone.

Permalink Reply by Connie Heinle on December 2, 2016 at 10:46am

Thank you to all who responded to me. Nothing ever will take away the feeling of loss, but your words of comfort are very encouraging and appreciated. For me, the weekends are the worst, and I always try to plan something to get out of the house at least for a little while. I am so ready for the winter months to be over, and they have not started yet. For those who are not part of a grief support group, I hope you will be able to find one. The group I attend has helped me so much.

Permalink Reply by kathleen akin on December 13, 2016 at 3:47pm

Hi Connie. This is my first Holiday Season to go through without my husband. He died last March 20th, so I'm coming up on 9 months. He passed pretty quickly. His illness was fast too. Just one year after diagnosis he died at home with just me there, and he seemed like he was ok. He seemed more amazed. I don't know if he was amazed but that was how he looked. He kept staring at something and I kept asking him "what is it?" and get in his line of sight, but just kept looking around me. Then he went.

I felt really numb for the first few months. I still cried a lot, but otherwise felt nothing. Except maybe fear. I really depended on him. I still do.

I think that may be the hardest thing for me, living a life without the companionship and comfort of the one I loved.

so welcome to a group I wish non of us were a member of.