Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Laura Villarreal on March 2, 2010 at 6:01pm

Brenda, you are not "all about yourself". My heartfelt condolences on the loss of your son. This group is intimately familiar with the pain of losing a child. We feel lost, alone, empty, numb, angry, confused...I could go on and on; the list would be endless. And you are right, it is day to day living, sometimes hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second or breath by breath. Finding this group was a godsend for me...share as much as you want or as little; please consider sharing photos of your son with us. I personally found a bit of healing within my heart sharing my child with the group.
Take care and let us know how you are doing.
Laura

Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on March 3, 2010 at 2:18am

Brenda - you are not alone with your feelings or your thoughts. We all feel that way and that is why groups like this are so important. Men do handle grief differently from women but it doesn't mean that they are not hurting. They are just reacting their own way.
Please feel comfortable to share here - we get you!! And no-one understands more than another grieving Mother!
Love and hugs
Gail x

Permalink Reply by paula ingalls on March 3, 2010 at 6:16am

hi brenda, my name is paula and i lost my son in a car accident sept 24,2009 along with afriend. no you are not alone in the way you feel, i am so lost and fel so alone, my husband doesn't even talk. i miss my son so bad sometimes i feel like im not even here i just go through the motions of livind, i have a few days when i get a little motivated but not very many. dont feel like you are alone be cause i know and understand how you fel. this is one part of life i prayed would never happen to me are anyone, i dont even no how to deal with this. i am totaly miserable and depressed. i am sory i should be making you fel beter, and i will keep you in my prayers for i do know there will be a better day, when we can feel better hugs and prayers paula

Permalink Reply by Brenda Marie Whitt on March 22, 2010 at 10:09pm

Hi Paula,
I apologize for not writing sooner. Our grandchild was born on March 16, 2010. That was a very emotional time for all of us. My son is not here to see his beautiful daughter and I cried many times. Every time we travel to their home, I hate it. I have no joy and feel isolated and have no answers for how I feel.
How are you doing? I guess we both have good and bad moments, and I say moments not days. How can our children be gone when they had every thing going for them? They were special, strive to be the best and had a promising future. Our son had a wonderful career and they had just moved into their new home. All these questions cannot be answered; only our faith in God has helped me to stay positive. Believe me, I have my "meltdowns." I hope and pray that God will give you strength each day and that your memories of your son will stay in your heart forever. Take care and write soon,

Brenda
bmwhitt2@aol.com

Permalink Reply by paula ingalls on March 23, 2010 at 7:22am

congraulations, for all of you. it has to be a great event even among the sadness. i always wanted doug to have children, i guess he never found the right person, right before he died his girlfried did get pregnanat, aganist his feelings she had abortion it kinda broke my heart, now im not sure if it was a good thing or bad due to what happened her parents thought she was to young. i know we just have to live in gods grace, maybe someday we can hold them and tell them hoiw much we love them and have missed them just to young for them, imiss him so much, i read grief books constantly, they have helped me in a lot of ways, sorta i really feel i understand more about god and jesus it has opened my eyes, but i still cant dill with this yet i want him and my life back. prayers wity you and family paula

Permalink Reply by Shelly on April 15, 2010 at 12:14am

You are not alone my daughter died back in July somedays I walk around like a zombie, somedays I just hit the fetal position hold tight to my babygirl and cry till I fall asleep! These days Faith is all we have and the lonlieness will forever exisit..Her birthday just passed April 5, she would have been 13...I miss her so much and I ask for strength and understanding to make it through.

Permalink Reply by Lorie Dunn on June 29, 2010 at 12:34pm

Hi Brenda, you are definately not "all about yourself". I feel the same way. Alone. Even with people around, Alone. I feel as if they are walking on eggshells around me. I don't remember things as well as I did before Hunter passed away (drug overdose, age 16), I can barely function most days (I should be at work right now). I feel as if no one understands. Your right, I believe women do grief differently from men. They seem to handle it better or at least hide it better. Lorie

Permalink Reply by Cynthia on November 20, 2010 at 12:00pm

I do know your feelings and I am sorry for your loss. I am alone...friends don't respond to me anymore. I just posted on the other group tramatic loss. I do understand. I'm broken...

Permalink Reply by Joan Hardin on March 20, 2011 at 3:26pm

I can relate. The majority of my friends and family have pushed me away because they don't know how to handle the fact that I am going through something that I will never fully recover from. At least on this site I can say honestly how I feel and what I think without being judged.

Permalink Reply by jennifer on December 4, 2010 at 10:46pm

i feel the same way u do,nobody can understand what we as mothers go through,we carried them for 9 months and we were there all the time..unless they have lost a child they wont understand and i do think that men grieve differently but sometimes i guess it's easier for them to talk to someone else

Permalink Reply by Kelly on December 17, 2010 at 6:04pm

I totally understand how you feel...I lost my 16 yr old daughter Taylor on Nov 1st 2010 after she was struck from behind by a vehicle. she was walking on a country road with her friend and her friend is also the daughter of a close family friend of ours she survived the accident with no injuries while my daughter suffered from brain injury. I have constant thought of dying myself I don't want to live without my daughter she was not only my daughter but she was also a friend we had a tremendously close relationship. I live with guilt every day when I eat sleep watch TV everything as Taylor isn't able to enjoy these things, I also live with the guilt of being the one that TOOK her to the country where she was struck by the vehicle (we were invited to a halloween party) The driver wasn't charged with anything and that brings me such angry feelings. I think of my Taylor every second of every day...I miss her terribly I can't imagine live without her...

Permalink Reply by jennifer on December 17, 2010 at 9:15pm

ur pain is so fresh,i remember when my caden 1st died i wanted to be with him,i carry the gulit with me every day that i should never have left him with that bastard,i asked god to take the baby i was carrying and to leave me my caden,i offered my soul to do the devil to bring him back but i know nothing with ever bring him back and if i dont learn to accept his death he will never rest in peace,i cried everyday and didnt care about anything but god gave me a blessing,if it wasnt for the baby i have now i would have gone crazy..i know that my son is in a better place and is happy but if i dont find a way to deal with his death he will never rest in peace..i dont understand why they didnt charge the person who killed ur daughter?? i know that with the holidays getting closer it will be harder for you,i hope u will find a way to get through it

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