Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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Hi Marie'sGirl.
I am sorry for your loss. I hope having and loving your son brings you some peace. If there is an afterlife, I hope that your mam is able to contact and show herself to you and/or your son; children are often more open to that sort of thing, so maybe he will have a loving visit from here, especially as the are so close.
I understand turning to alcohol and pills and smoking -- I don't do those things myself, but every single night I have to take either Benadryl (allergy pills which also cause sleepiness) or a sleeping pill in order to sleep. Your colds are likely happening due to your depressed immune system, which is depressed due to stress but also to the drugs/drinking/smoking, so cutting down on those things would probably help keep you from getting so many colds.
People who tell you that you should be "over it" are idiots. You are the only one who knows your grief, and the only one who is in a position to say anything about it. You are the only person who is an expert in your particular grief.
I hope you can find some peace.
I'm glad our words were able to help you a bit. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
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