Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Trina Mamoon on October 7, 2016 at 5:42am

Dale,

I am so very sorry for your loss. The passing of one's beloved spouse is one of the most painful and harrowing of experiences. I lost my beloved husband Joseph 26 months ago, but I still continue to feel extreme grief to this day. Some days are better than others, but it's mostly bad. You are in the early stages of bereavement and that's very tough. It's natural that you are feeling anger and frustration that people around you aren't being considerate and kind. That's really bad. Come to this forum often and reach out, you'll find us to be understanding and supportive. 

Sending you prayers of healing and wishes for courage and strength. We're here to give you moral support.

Hugs, Trina

Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on October 7, 2016 at 12:22pm

Hi Dale... I am so sorry for your loss as well.  

I continue to find it frustrating with these people that call themselves my/our friends.  It makes me so angry that these people, still to this day tell me if I need anything, let them know, and when I do, they always have an excuse as to why they cant help me.  

It's hard enough for me to reach out to people in the first place, but when I do and ask for help it must be something I truly need help with.

Every single time, no one shows or they show and leave the job half finished. It all started within the few days after my husband passed, starting with his father, on through his brother and other of his friends.  I am afraid it has turned me into an even more angry and bitter person.  It has just solidified in my mind that the only person you can count on is yourself.  

It's not enough that I have lost my best friend, but I seem to have lost so many other people too, in a time I need them most. 

Anyway, thank you for the welcome.  Like I said, while I hate the circumstances that have brought me here, I am just so grateful to have found people that truly understand where I am at.  

Permalink Reply by Trina Mamoon on October 7, 2016 at 5:59am

ShiningLight,

My deepest condolences to you. I am at a loss for words. I don't know what to say given the tragic circumstances of your husband's passing. Please know that you have come to the right forum to share your grief. Here you can express yourself honestly, be angry, vent, and reach out. All members have the one terrible thing in common, the death of our beloved spouse, so we are understanding and there's no judgment. Visit this site often and tell us how you are feeling and you'll find someone who'll reach out to you.

You are indeed lucky to have three wonderful children. They need you and they'll give you the strength and courage you'll need to face every new day and keep going. You are still in the early stage of grief, and there will be many different emotions to content with, many ups and downs as you negotiate the tall waves and the rough road strewn with rocks and nails. Grief is an uncharted territory for all of us.

I am holding you in my prayers as you take baby steps through this most painful of all human experiences. Sending healing vibes and prayers for peace. Hang in there. Hugs, Trina

Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on October 7, 2016 at 12:22pm

Hi Trina:

Thank you for your prayers.  

Permalink Reply by Robin Quinn on October 7, 2016 at 7:16am

Sorry for your loss.....

Permalink Reply by S.a.m. on October 7, 2016 at 3:34pm

I'm so sorry for your loss and understand not getting to say goodbye. I lost my husband to an act of violence almost two years ago now and never had a chance to say all of the things I wanted him to know. I have had all of those feelings and a lot of guilt for still being alive. 

Most people just don't get it at all. I have had many people say..'anything you need'....and then disappear. Your experience, I dare say, is not unusual. At the very beginning and after I came out of complete shock and what I think was some denial, I have found that finding other people who have had similar experiences, whether through groups like this or through books, has been helpful. For me, just knowing that I'm not completely alone in my despondency and struggle, has been a big help. I am very sorry that your family and friends haven't been more supportive...but you are connected to many others who do understand.