When does the Pain dissapate

I know this is not a straight answer. 

I lost my fiancee one month ago on Thursday. I cry every single day.

I try to hold myself in until I get in my car, then I scream and cry until I get home\\

Just wondering what other people do or have done to keep themselves from going crazy (which is what I feel at the moment)

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Permalink Reply by kathleen akin on June 14, 2016 at 5:16pm

Maybe never.  I've been doing this for almost 3 months. I hate everything about my life now. I hate being alone, I hate the memories that intrude on every thought. Everywhere I look around me I have memories. I was with Rocky for 13 years and now I can't function.

Maybe someone has something more uplifting to say than I do

Permalink Reply by Jr on June 15, 2016 at 8:07pm
I totally agree. Probably never. And it's ok to feel that way. But we need to remember. Our loved ones that left us behind, wants to see us live a happy life. As long as we don't forget them. I said it before. The words I used to hate so much was when people would tell me"TIME HEALS THE PAIN" I never believed such thing. But 8 yrs later, I can say I somewhat agree. It probBly took me 4 yrs to finally stop the constant tears. Don't get me wrong I still hurt. And sometimes I cry like a baby still. But in my belief or my situation, my wife doesn't want to see me sad anymore. But all this is easier said than done. Obviously I haven't let her go yet. I e been through few relationships, but 8 years later, I'm still a lonely man. Hang in there. And it's ok to feel how u feel. Nobody knows.
Permalink Reply by Jr on June 15, 2016 at 3:32am
I lost my wife 2008. Nobody knew what I was feeling inside. It felt ugly. As if the whole world was staring. What got me thru was that I was thinking of my kids the whole time. But yet I would cry alone when I heard music or saw photos. I'm still not the same.
Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on June 24, 2016 at 6:17am

I know that there really is NO solution to our pain today. We can comfort one another, but the pain is still there.

One thing that helps me through the pain of such loss is HOPE. I try hard (it doesn't work every day) to look forward to a wonderful future as promised in Gods word the Bible. Here is one scripture that helps me.

  • Re 21:4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

What a beautiful promise ... no more PAIN. I am confident in the future, even though I am in pain today.

Permalink Reply by kathy kwasnica on June 24, 2016 at 9:01am

Thanks dennis

Permalink Reply by Jr on June 15, 2016 at 7:56pm
Sorry for your loss and pain. When I lost my wife, I was so devastated. I mean really really torn apart inside. I cried so much that I never knew anyone can carry so much tears inside. I know it's not for everyone, but what I did to ease the pain, was confront my fear, pain,and sadness. Without the presence of my kids or anyone else, I made it an obligation to relive the memories with my wife by going thru every picture, every song , every movie, and every location that would remind me of her and me together. I didn't hold back any feeling or emotion it would bring to me. That being said, I cried and cried and cried. It was a combination of cries. Sometimes I cried like a baby. Then I cried with a lot of anger. Sometimes just tears and other times with loud agony screams with never ending rivers of tears. Whether it be in my room or on the freeway or in the shower. Unfortunately it lasted too long. Year after year. But what it did , was it helped me act strong and under control around people in public places, at work, and around family. I know this is no solution , but I guess it got me thru. So I say. Nevertheless it took me 4 years to accept it and to move forward by actually letting her Rest In Peace and not showing her that I was still in such pain. Somehow I finally got the message that she's happy up there and I should also be happy down here. Just smile at the good memories. But MANNNNN!!! I wish she was still here!
Permalink Reply by kathy kwasnica on June 16, 2016 at 9:36am

Thanks for sharing that

Permalink Reply by Jeff C on June 22, 2016 at 4:21pm

I am really am sorry to hear about your experience and the level of pain that you are dealing with.  I lost my girlfriend last week due to damn cancer.

Russell Friendman says that the pain will not dissipate on its own any more than your leg will if you cut it open with a chainsaw.  You need professional help.  

https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

Check YouTube for Russell Friedman videos.

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on June 30, 2016 at 4:22pm

dnt no 4 yrs mutli loss sisne 2012 evry yer sisne 2012 u cud say

Permalink Reply by bluebird on July 2, 2016 at 1:39pm

I think it's probably different for each person. For me, the pain never has and never will dissipate. My husband died nearly four years ago, and every day is still unreal to me. Literally, life is now unreal to me, and means nothing to me.  

I think perhaps it's at least a little bit easier for people who believe in some sort of afterlife, because at least they usually believe that they will be with their loved one again.  I neither believe nor disbelieve in an afterlife -- I fervently hope there is a good, peaceful afterlife in which I will be with my soulmate again, but I don't know if there actually is or not.

If you do have some sort of faith, then maybe speaking with a spiritual adviser of your faith would be helpful to you.

Permalink Reply by Jeff C on July 2, 2016 at 2:30pm

I sincerely hope that you and he are reunited some day.   Your love for him is as powerful as it gets.  I am so sorry that you were so cruelly separated from each other.

Permalink Reply by bluebird on July 2, 2016 at 4:24pm

Thank you. I hope the same for you and your girlfriend.

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