I feel like most people dont understand

Even those that have lost people I feel like they dont often understand what its like for me. My dad went to prison when I was 5 and havent seen him since so he is basically dead and lost my mom 5 yrs ago. I have no siblings, no living family. It sucks to lose anyone you care about but when you have someone to share that loss with, someone to lean on its just different than being completely alone in the world. There is no safety net for me. I cant fall because there is no one there to catch me. Things that arent as big of a deal to others are life changing for me. The stress of everything being on my shoulders, the fear is something most people just dont get. The fear is worse than even the loss. I am currently out of work and fear what will happen in the next couple months. I dont have anyone to help me or save me. I have health issues and when I get really sick I have no one to help me. Missing people is so far down on my list. I often think I have never really had the chance to just grieve. I have never had the time to just sit and worry about feelings. I am always so busy just trying to keep myself alive and just barely scraping by and this isnt a life and I wonder why I even bother trying because when I am honest with myself I really no longer care. I do it for my cats I think but soon I wont even be able to care for them. I really feel like life picks on me, like I am cursed. I dont understand how its possible for one person to have so much bad luck. I dont understand why life cant cut me a break. I dont understand why other people seem to be so much more deserving of anything good than I am. I feel like I am deserving but life must disagree. I just wish I felt like I could breathe. I wish I had some security in my life. 

Views: 217

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Brenda Ann on November 18, 2014 at 8:00am

Dear Tanya,

     Today is the first time I have seen your name. My heart goes out to you and many hugs as well. You are ever so right that I truly do not know how you feel but I do care. You said, "I wish I had some security in my life". Security in this world is more than elusive it seems impossible to find. There is a place of refuse and protection that many people do not consider. (Psalm 18:1, 2) "I have affection for you, O Jehovah, my strength.  Jehovah is my crag and my stronghold and the One who rescues me. My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, My shield and my horn of salvation, my secure refuge." Please go to and read is article:

Look After Orphans and Widows in Their Tribulation

I hope this brings you some comfort. Lean on God and he will sustain you. (Philippians 4:13) For all things I have the strength through the one who gives me power."

(Isaiah 41:10) "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness.’"

I care and I will be here to talk anytime but I can't give you strength, only God can. We are not living in normal times and as you pointed out, you are not in a normal situation. But, do not despair...

(2 Corinthians 4:7) . . ."the power beyond what is normal may be God’s and not from us." Lean on God and he will carry you.

Brenda

Permalink Reply by Rakesh on December 22, 2016 at 6:40am
I understand what you going through and I pray to god to give you the best and most in happiness, good health and a great life ! Big hug Tanya

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B posted a blog post

Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
Dec 2
0 Comments
Profile IconBert Sel and Nikki joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 27
Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 19
Welcome Them!
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Welcome Them!
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Welcome Them!

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service