Viewer disgretion .

I will never forgive the system, or whoever decided to Not only not give me any answers still, but for when a mother hears the police telling her over a telephone that her child is being worked on by the parametics and that they will call you when they know whats going on (her father took her on a scheduled visit for 1 night and wasn't supposed to take my daughter to his ex's but didn't listen...and that's where she died) yet they wont let you come there wont give you an address youve been trying to gets for almost two hours previous to this dreaded phone call .. The hopeless, helpless soul crushing heartbreaking indescribable feeling no words could nor would i want them to , make you understand when your worst nightmare as a mother becomes your life, yet it felt like three days before the police woman called me to tell me my baby is no longer breathing, and repeated It ....Jacqueline your DAUGHTER is no longer breathing .. Then i Was trying to ask the many things i was trying to figure out ... LIKE AN ADDRESS OR HOW THIS HAPPENED OR WHY THEY COULDNT SAVE HER I DONT REMEMBER THE WORDS I actually was trying to say but she just kept repeating.. I cant understand you ma'am, i cant understand you ma'am ... Then she said DO NOT DRIVE ANYWHERE . I AM SENDING SOMEONE TO YOU . So i waited for an HOUR ... ( felt like a week) .. And then i couldnt take it the number was private when she called so i didnt know wtf was going on and i ended up calling 911 myself ... And again i cant understand you ma'am... I gave the phone to sean he could apparently do a way better job of talking .. I cant even describe the feeling in words ...nor would i ever want someone to understand that feeling... then finally the ABBOTSFORD police NOT chilliwack(where it happened) came to tell me and my whole family who was all obviously with me at my house by then that she is really dead.. But thats all they know.. Because they were just called to come lets us know... So they sat here with us and my family waiting for the "meeting" they were having in chilliwack over the whole thing... For 2 MORE HOURS then i finally couldnt take it anymore!! My baby was lying alone somewhere and i couldnt just leave her like that . I needed to be with my baby my little girl.. So i asked my gf Zena Berkeley who was also here with my family .. To drive me to chilliwack hospital.. And i grabbed aome stuff and a blanket and i was prepared to sit sleep wait camp do whatever it took to see her at the hospital .. When we were about to leave the cops said we have to take you to the chilliwack police department they need to talk to you , so of course my whole family followed and once we got there i got interrogated for 3 hrs ... They would leave me complwtely alone in a room by myself three time they did that.. For 5 or 10 min each time... Ughhh i was so upset i just NEEDED TO SEE My baby girl i needed to hold her hand for even a second to see that this was really my dughter and it was really happening and i needed to see here if she wasnt or was ok it didnt matter i just needed to see her.. But after they were done i asked which hospital she was in and they then told me that she had now been moved and i wouldnt be able to see her till after the weekend ( coroners have weekends off apparently) omg!!! I should have fought for my rights or i wish i would have known them AT LEAST because it is a mothers right to see their child in the morgue or in the hospital . It was what EVERY parent has a right to do . I could barely speak let alone fight or know what my rights were .. I went another SIX DAYS till i got to see Alexcia Mckamey .. The autopsy had been done already on her body she was cut from her waist up to behind her ears . The coroner had called me the night before getting to see her and had to tell me then had taken her brain and spine out to do further testing .. OMG i never even got to see my little girl and they were taking things from her!!! My heart dropped... I just wanted to see my little girl when she had even just a little bit of life lwft in her, or when she still looked like her. Or at least with all her body parts still there.. But when our whole family and close friends got to see my daughter .. I went in first with my older sister and sean , and i seen her and i said it doesnt look like her .. Ohh thank god its not her brooke .. Its not her! She tried telling me that it was but what i seen looked nothing like my child , i had to lift the angel dress(the halloween costume we picked out that she only tried on never made it to halloween to wear it) she was in and make sure her birthmark on her leg was really there so that i could prove them it was not alexcia.... But it was there ... And i lost it .. I dont know if youve ever been sitting in a room and you see a mother see her child dead for the first time.. Or maybe youve seen a movie .. Where all you can here is that horribly painful crying that will haunt you just hearing it... Well my family and friends all did .. And i cant imagine how the police could take something so irreplaceable so IMPORTANT and then apologize to me later saying that i should have been able to see her maybe not pick her up or hold her but it was my right to go see my daughter and at least hold her hand that night.. They said they will never let this happen to another mother, and they were sorry it happened to me... I hope they meant that ... But SORRY isnt good enough. You can NEVER GO BACK NEVER CHANGE IT , THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER CHANCE, ITS OVER , DONE , GONE.. and it was the most horrible thing you could do to a mother who just lost her ONLY child like this ... And then to take something such as that away and making it more traumatic and cruel . Im not going to get into details about it but what i had to see my daughter like , when we seen her once they had done everything they needed to it was no Right. And i had already lost so much .. How could you take more away from me?! I will never FORGIVE the "mistake" they made that night ..

Still no answers!!! I am still frozen , lost , hoping , waiting, begging for answers for my little girls life being stolen from her, from the world , from all of us .. You move forward, your lives keep going on .. My life is frozen.. Its standing still, my world has stopped .. I dont understand how she can just be gone forever, never coming home.. Without reason, no answers as to why ? Or how! Could you even for a minute ever imagine your only child , your whole life .. Everything that made you happy every single day.. Just disappear .. ! GONE ? Disappear without even a reason , explanation, or answer to how,why,where,what,who, or when?? Nothing .. Just ABSOLUTELY NOTHING & COMPLETELY GONE .. There is just no words to explain to you.. I just wish you could understand , without having to feel what i feel.. I have no words.. Nothing.. Empty.. Completely helpless.. I absolutely with everything i am , hate this nightmare... It 's too much . Somebody PLEASE wake me up?!?! .. ???!!!