Hi , I cant believe today makes a year since I got that fateful call.The call I never dreamed I would ever get.The words I never thought I would hear my mother say."your sister died this morning honey,she is gone" How do you comprehend that?On that day I Ialso lost my voice as a result of screaming. I damaged my vocal cords and a cyst formed.I had surgery Friday and tomorrow I go to the doctor and get to hear my voice for the first time.In a weird way Im hoping this will be healing, a new beginning to move on.That weird voice was just a constant reminder of that awful day. Id like to feel like myself again.My voice was unrecognizable .Losing my sister is the worst thing that's ever happened to me and losing my voice just made me feel even more not normal.I, love and miss my sister more than anything.Im going to the beach to release balloons this afternoon.I have nowhere to go to celebrate her life or remember

her as she was not buried.We scattered her ashes in the ocean in California where I am from.I live in florida and that's the only way I can think of celebrating her. 

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I AM GAY AND I LOST MY LOVER ONE YEAR AGO.WE HAD A HOME INVASION IN A HOME WE WERE BUILDING AND I WAS SHOT THREE TIMES AND MY PARTNER TRIED TO HELP BUT THE SAME GUY SHOT RALPH IN THE HEART TWO TIMES AND HE DIED/I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FELT AT THAT TIME.I ALSO SCREAMED AT CRIED FOR WEEKS WHEN I RETURNED TO MY HOME IN NEW YORK.I STILL CRY BUT I AM GETTING BETTER WITH THE HELP OF A THERAPIST .LIGHT A CANDLE FOR HER IN YOUR HOME AND SAY SOME PRAYERS .YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND THAT IS WHAT YOUR SISTER WOULD WANT.STAN

I WILL SAY SOME PRAYERS FOR YOU TO GET STRONGER AND CONTINUE LIVING .GOD BLESS YOU STAN

sory for yore loss ellin its bean ovr a yr hrf for me i dnt thnk grief cud hrt as bad ths i lost my dad 3rd mrch 2012 but dnt thnk a lot mre death folred after my dad getng blame for peple getng big c or orthr helth probs i got told im 2 blame for it all 

i no my dads funrell i cud hardly speak jst so full of teats i mnt tears i still get my wobely moments i thnk we will all be lk ths 

lk u 2 i wish i cud be my slf again 

sory if iv saed wong thngs 

thnx john jst sm peple say crul thngs 2 us tht i thrt thy rht  wot thy saed sm pele say horbel thngs 2 us frm family or so caled friends iv sean storys sme as eash othr on hear how familys hav saed horbel thngs 2 thm on hear or frnds 

iv had mre suprt love off evry 1 on hear evn funrell hm e it did my dads funrell most of fmly funrells so on iv notic peple it say bad thngs 2 us hav nevr evr lost any 1 l we hav i no u hav lost so mny lk me thes lst few yrs iv lost hrf a footy team or mre mre thn a footyteam u cud say 

jo

Dear Ellen, My heart is with you. For a long time I lost my voice too, but not in a physical way. In an emotional way. I like to sing. I used to sing all the time. The same boys I sang to are gone to heaven now, and I thought I'd never sing again. Then one day a long time after their deaths I could feel the song within my heart. I could hear my children singing from heaven! I found my voice, and I pray that you find your voice too. Not just your physical voice. I hope you can someday hear your sisters voice of love in your heart!  I love letting go of balloons! I let go of balloons every year on my sons birthdays. I watch them till I cant see them anymore. I feel more, and more pain float away with every balloon I send up to the heavens.  Peace to you Ellen

I know how it is to go through a traumatic event and get a call like this so my support to you.  We need to take care of ourselves however hard it is right now.  Basically the first couple of months we may not even be in grief mode just trauma.

I  THOUGHT I WANTED TO DIE AFTER I WAS SHOT AND RALPH DIED IN MINUTES BUT I SURVIVED.WHY????????IT IS ONLY ONE YEAR AND ONE MONTH AND I STILL CRY BUT I AM GETTING BETTER DRIP BY DRIP STAN

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