Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Patti Meadows on December 29, 2011 at 7:08am

So well said Ann....We all go through the doubts, anger, pain...But GOD is Good....HE loves us and knows our thoughts, so we can feel free to express outselves to HIM.  It has been 5 1/2 years since Matt left for Heaven...Of course I miss him, but I know He is with JESUS..and JESUS is with US!  So THE LORD  will be there for us if we just reach our to HIM...truth is, THE LORD was always there for me...just waiting for me to reach out....HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US OR FORSAKE US!!!!   We need to remember there is EVIL in this world, and life will not be "perfect"....That is coming when we are with "THE LORD"...I want to spend the time I have left here on earth helping and Blessing others when I can...Blessings to all...Patti (Matt's Mom)

Permalink Reply by cindy parrott on December 29, 2011 at 9:23am

I still have no faith. Prayer does not give me any relief. I don't feel like anyone is there for me. Like my other son says about prayer it seems to him like just talking to yourself. I tried going to a Christian counseler for awhile and it didn't do anything. The son that died ddin't believe in God. I know he was searching. He meditated and read philosphy books, books on buddism, hindu etc..

When I was going to church right after i lost my son the preacher said if you don't in Jesus you won't go to heaven no matter what.. My son was a good kind loving person. He tried to do unto others. It was how he lived his life. If he isn't in heaven if there is a heaven because he had questions why should i care to go. That would mean not only do I lose him in this lifetime but in eternity. I prefer not to believe in anything....anymore

Permalink Reply by Ammy on December 29, 2011 at 1:14pm

Cindy, I am sad that you feel like no one is there for you.  I am thinking that you mean God by that and I can understand feeling that way.  It's our human nature, but if we have a spiritual nature we will find something.  It may only be as small as a grain of sand but it's something to hold onto.  As for our children and what they believed, none of us really know.  We have no idea what happens at death.  Could a person call out to God at that time?  Could God come to that person before his last breath and reach out to him?  God, and even life is really a mystery that we can never fully understand.  As I said before, faith is an individual experience.  We either want it or we don't.  I hope I made some sense, but I'm so messed up most of the time with my thoughts.  Just know that I also feel the same pain and miss my son with every breath.  My heart aches every day for my son, but it also aches for each mom or dad that I've met that has also lost a child.  We now know and feel what no parent should ever have to know and feel.  I'm sorry.   

Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on March 17, 2012 at 7:22am

Cindy

Do NOT BELIEVE the preacher who told you that your son has no hope!!!

Here is what the Bible says:

John 5:28, 29 "Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29 and come out..."

Did you notice - "all those in the memorial tombs"? This includes your son.

The Bible promises a great hope of life to everyone.

Acts 24:15 "and I have hope toward God, which hope these [men] themselves also entertain, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous"

Jesus himself proved that families would be reunited. At Mark 5 he actually resurrected a 12 year old girl.

Mark 5:41, 42 "And, taking the hand of the young child, he said to her: “Tal´i·tha cu´mi,” which, translated, means: “Maiden, I say to you, Get up!” ... And immediately the maiden rose and began walking, for she was twelve years old. And at once they were beside themselves with great ecstasy."

These people were NOT worshipers of the True God. They were pagans and yet Jesus brought their daughter back to life and reunited them.

The lies that religion has taught us about God can strip us of all hope and fill us with fear. The truth that the Bible really teaches will not take our pain away but it will give us a wonderful HOPE that helps us look forward to the future instead of dreading it.

I hope you don't see this a preaching. I just want to share the comfort that I have found when I finally saw who God really was and what he is really like.

Permalink Reply by Mary Elizabeth Dolnick on December 29, 2011 at 2:17pm

Cindy,

I prayed everyday that god would take the cancer from my son and give it to me and he never heard me.....I lost faith 3 yrs ago when he first got sick....I have tried to get it back but so far no good......when I see on the news Christmas day that fire in California that took 3 children and their grandparents...what was god thinking...someone elplain it to me...we have these child molesters and these parents that beat and kill their children...take them the bad on this earth...why are sweet angels.....Tell me why?

 

Permalink Reply by Ann Edmondson on December 29, 2011 at 4:28pm

We cannot presume to fathom God's reasoning. I can tell you this, bad things happen in today's world because we disobeyed God in the very beginning and lost our chance to be in His holy presence. That is why He sent His son to die on the cross for us. As Ammy said we can not know what happens at the moment of death. There have been many stories of people who have had family members pass away and tell us that they were having conversations with someone who was not there. Christ tells us that the evil will receive their reward here on this side of judgement. As for as the children who perished in the fire -- the jury is still out on that one. Many people feel that the family was dead before the fire was set. It will be some time before the truth is known, if it is ever known. I am sorry you lost your son to cancer. Cancer is caused by many factors but mainly due to the chemicals and impurities we as man have contaminated this world with. Let me ask you this question -- if you had a choice of your son being here with you in pain and suffering from cancer or living a life free of cancer without you in a remote country that you could not go to would you send him there?

Permalink Reply by mercy on December 29, 2011 at 6:19pm

I belong to three other groups on this support site and was drawn to this topic about losing faith after the loss of a child. I’ve not lost a child but have lost three siblings in their prime and both parents. I’m not 40 yet but I’ve lost almost half of my family. I can relate to all of you about losing faith. I had believed for a miracle for my mom for so long but cancer won in the end. I’ve been angry at God for almost two years. My mom was diagnosed in March of 2010; my brother died suddenly at the age of 43 in June 2010, mom lost her battle in 2011. I could not understand how a loving God would let his servant suffer the loss of a son while undergoing cancer treatment. Obviously my brother’s death may have speeded up my mom’s death. I’ve been looking for answers and question my faith all this time. It’s only in the few days that I can hear Christian music or hear a verse from the Bible without getting very upset. Words like faith, miracle, healing, and trust lost their meaning to me. I’ve had a lot of support and counseling from friends, (Not professionals). The two things that made a difference were two emails that two dear ladies sent me at a very desperate time. I would like to share some of what one of them said; hopefully we can all slowly start to see God in a different light. I still struggle with my lack of faith but not as much as I did even one week ago. A lot of people have given me comforting words and different verses; but for some reason, this had the biggest impact.

“We live in an imperfect world but God IS IN CONTROL. If God were to intervene in every illness, every injury, every horrific event, this would be heaven. But God DOES intervene, you have to LISTEN and you have to TRUST. God is not responsible for illness, suffering and death, which is part of the life experience of every living thing. We anticipate the renewal of earth and we must TRUST and LISTEN for God's voice. THE PROMISES do NOT pertain to physical life, they pertain to SPIRITUAL LIFE....eternity. Many people who are close to God die. People die very day, believers, non-believers: this is the cycle of life in an imperfect world. But the world is NOT imperfect because of God, it is imperfect because of the enemy. DO NOT ALLOW THE ENEMY to remove your attachment to God. It uses your grief, your pain, your suffering TO DO THAT. God is the ultimate source of love, unconditionally, and of peace, and of hope and comfort. Your reading and interpretation of scripture is misled, deliberately by the enemy”.

Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on March 16, 2012 at 7:19am

It is VERY understandable that so many of us deal with a loss of faith when 
We lose some one in death. Most religions teach us that it is God's doing. At a funeral that I attended for an uncle who had died the pastor made this statement.   

  "this is Gods plan, we are born, we live our lives of 70 to 80 years, we suffer, get sick, grow old, and die. Then God takes us to heaven to be an angel with him. This is how God populates Heaven."

It is no wonder that so many of us see God as the one responsible. 

I know a couple who struggled for years to have a baby. When the wife finally became a mother she was overjoyed and everyone told her what a blessing from God the child was. When she lost the child in a tragic death people told her that "God wanted the child as an angel in heaven" or "God wanted another rose in his garden." This woman ended up hating God. No wonder this mother was confused. Why would a God of Love be so cruel to her? Why would God give her such a wonderful blessing only to take that blessing away? 

But are we really being taught the truth about God? Is this way of life, glutted with pain, really "Gods plan?"  

I don't think so. I think that we have been mislead. I think that God is not part of the problem. I think God is the ONLY solution!!!

If we view God as the solution then we can gain strength and comfort. Having an accurate knowledge of God, his purpose for this earth, his purpose for us, why we die, what hope we have for the dead, why there is so much suffering in this world, and what the future really holds, can give us hope. It will NOT take our pain away, but the truth will give us hope.

Jesus said that "the truth will set you free". And it will set us free from the lies and myths about God and heaven and angels and even death.

We will still have pain, but we will also be comforted. 

What we really need is accurate knowledge about God. That is what we really need.

Permalink Reply by Ammy on March 16, 2012 at 11:40am

Dennis, all I want to say to your comment is "AMEN!", but I can understand where everyone is coming from.  I don't want to make relationships with the one we lose to be less or more because I know with each one it is painful.  I first lost my father and thought my world was ending, then my mother, then my best friend, and these were major losses to me, but when you lose a child it's unnatural.  It goes against the grain of life.  We grow up knowing the natural order of deaths in general and a child is not among them.

As for me when my son left this world I felt so empty I could not pray, but I kept reading my bible.  Eventually, I was able to reconnect with my God, my Lord, my Savior, but I had that connection before I lost my son.  I don't think some have had that connection to get back to, but hopefully, they will find it in the future.  

Thank you for your comment.  I understand it.

Blessings.

.

Permalink Reply by cindy parrott on March 17, 2012 at 9:49am

I'm still struggling with my faith, i understand that God didn't take my son that everyone has a time on this earth. I don't feel anything when I pray, no comfort no release from my grief. I've prayed and asked for help, but haven't found any. I mostly feel alone. I guess most time I feel like I'm just talking to myself when I pray. No one answers. I go through the motions of living. I even tried going to a christian counselor hoping that he could help me, I found it to be a waste of time.
I have always suffered from depression but could usually pull myself out, now I just can't.I know of someone who lost her young daughter to a tragic accident and saw how her faith has pulled her though it. I have prayed to be able to be like her and have the same faith but it has never come to me.

Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on March 23, 2012 at 6:55am

Dear Cindy,

I am wondering if you understand how prayer really works.

Let me ask this. What is more important, praying to God, or reading the Bible?

Most people say ... Prayer.

But now let's ask the same question just a little differently.

What is more important, talking or listening? Most people then say ... Oh, listening is!

So how do we listen to God? We must read his word the Bible after we pray for comfort. This is what he uses to give us the comfort we need. Here is a simple truth ...

Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities though not beheld."

Do you see that faith is directly related to HOPE. When we feel HOPELESS then we feel lost in faith. To rekindle this faith then, we need to build up our HOPE!!! We do this by studying Gods word the Bible for his answers to the issues we have.

For example, what does the Bible REALLY teach about death? Why do we die?

Many people say it is part of Gods bigger plan. THIS IS NOT WHAT THE BIBLE TEACHES!!!

When we really know what the Bible teaches on this subject then we can start building hope because the Bible also answers these questions.

What happens to us when we die?
What is the condition of the dead?
What Hope can we have for our dead loved ones?

And did you realize that God views death as an enemy!!! And that one day God will bring an end to death!!!

1 Corinthians 15:26 "As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing."

Revelation 21:4 "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”"

These facts do not take today's pain away, but they will comfort us. Knowing the truth on these issues gives us HOPE and our hope builds our FAITH.

This does take time. Sometimes it even takes help from someone who can use the Bible to answer our most pressing questions. To help us build faith based on what the Bible REALLY says.

Below are three links to a Bible study aid. The links discuss the Bible teachings on death, and why there is so much suffering. The information will take you to the BIBLE and has built a renewed HOPE in many people.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/bh/article_06.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/e/bh/article_07.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/e/bh/article_11.htm

I hope this can help you build your hope and faith and start gaining comfort from Gods word.

Permalink Reply by mercy on March 27, 2012 at 7:00pm

Every once in a while I struggle with my faith too. I find it hard to read up on scripture that talks about, healing, miracles, ask and it shall be given; the raising of the dead etc. We prayed so much for mom to pull through since her cancer was found early. I spent hours, upon hours pleading with God; I was angry when the healing didn't take place and God took her home. Now we are dealing with the loss of my sisters husband, just over a week ago. My 43 yr old brother died suddenly not too long ago. Three family members in less than two years, it has been so very hard. I sometimes question how a loving God would allow this to happen?

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