My Mom was 86 when she passed.  As a child I have had dreams of her being killed and living in fear of it.  I was 5 and we were driving away and I suddenly had a vision of bad men killing her and us finding her when we got back.  It didn't happen, but I had several times of these dreams.  My Mother was a very quiet, timid woman. She had been taken away from her mother along with 4 other siblings because my grandfather was a drunk who stole kids clothes from the clothes lines to sell for liquor.  She managed to live a long uneventful life for herself.  She never had anything, and never complained.  In December of 2007, she was sent to the hospital by the Alzheimer locked unit because the two smaller toes on her right foot had turned black over a weekend.  It was Christmas time, and it seemed no doctors  wanted to make any decisions.  She was also in A-fib.  She was also dehydrated.  After Christmas they were going to return her to the home she had been in for her protection, so I decided to move her closer to home.  She was in that home for about 2 weeks.  In the hospital I had found out that the Dr. she had in the home, had taken her off all her meds.  When she was moved he is the Dr. that serviced that home as well.  I had the authority to deal with her health issues, so I told him I wanted her back on her meds, including Allopurinol for Gout.  He told me that if I was going to tell him how to Dr. her, I would have to find another Dr.  I told him I would and his title would not be  KAVORKIAN.  I did find a good Dr. and he reinstated her meds, but a week later she was sent by the home to the hospital.  I went there and her Dr. talked to me.  He told me the best thing for her would be hospice.  He said the outcome was not going to change as the blackness went farther up her leg.  He told me that this would be very painful for her and that hospice would keep her comfortable.  I couldn't believe she was dying.  The hospice was very good.  they took care of her and us.  I stayed with her all the way through.  There were times that she was more aware than ever, and we had some wonderful moments.  She remained painless and we had long talks.  One night it was apparent she was in more pain and I called for a shot.  After ward, I told her I had to go for a quick walk, but that I loved her with all my heart.  I also told her to not be afraid.  If she felt she needed to leave it would be ok with me.  I told her not to worry about me, because in heaven time is no more, and I will be home before Supper.  I told her that her Mom and brothers and sisters were waiting to have a fantastic homecoming with her and that I would be ok here until it was my time to go.  I walked out for a little time and then when I returned she was not responsive and never was until she passed.  I really feel she was more there than here at that point.  Finally, with all her family around, she went home to wait for all of us.  Little did I know that within two years my oldest son would also go home from a massive coronary.  I know she is watching over him for me.   The last night she was here, my Son, Shawn stayed with me in the hospital.  He parked his wheel chair where he could pull the tv down and watch it and also watch her breathing.  I told him we would take shifts, and he said he would take the first one.  When I woke the next morning he was still sitting right there, watching her.  The rest of the family came that day and we all just sat with her, talking about how much we were going to miss her, but how we would see her again soon.  The kids went to get something to eat while the nurses were bathing her.  She was rolled on her side and I heard her take a breath, which we hadn't heard since she was breathing very shallow.  They rolled her back, and the nurse checked her and shook her head at me, that she was gone.  I headed out the door to get the kids and they were on their way down the hall.  They came running and I told then she was gone.  They came to hold me up, and helped me back into the room so they could tell her goodbye.  None of us could believe it.  I am very happy she did not suffer, and we had some very aware  moments.  I thank God that I know where she is and that I will see her again.  it was a rough year, but we have done well to make it.  Then last April 30, 2010, my son went home to be with her.  He was a bilateral amputee due to a car wreck which split his firebird in half 18 years ago.Mom passed on Jan 27, 2007, and Shawn had his car accident on Jan, 29, 1992.  Jan is not a good month for us.