I remeber asking that myself sometimes when the worry sleeps with me and is stil present in the morning. Almost like a nightmare we fight the mind off to sleep, and it´s right there in the minute we wake up. For me thats the time to put some positive input in the brain. And since heading out and about even for a dog walk can be difficult with the pains in my back, I must try something else. Medicines altering the brain, I am very allergic. Thus in the times I´ve been in bed for over 6 years I had to develop something good to turn the tide in my brain waves there to a positive means of EXISTANCE. Music and guided meditation helped some. But what got stuck in my head was this SIMPLE question. WHAT CAN I DO TODAY TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER? Well, for answering this simple question first we need to GIVE PERMISSION to ourselves to ENJOY LIFE AS IS. Exactly today and now. Feeling better is not easy when in pain. Its not easy after a loss. But somehow that question does a little swith for me. Triggers the search for whatever fells good at that particular time. Something I like more than the hurt and craps. Almost like childlike manner. Do one thing that makes feel OK to be AlIVE. May be writing, may be music, may be a walk, may be to go get some sleep or perhaps a favorite food. Whatever it may be, I think it´s safe to assume WE DESERVE. We aren´t on this planet by accident, there is a purpose with life and in sintony with universe, god, whatever the faith may be. We have this BIRTH RIGHT to be HAPPY. And it´s not dependant on anyone or anything, but solely based on our EXISTANCE. In my experience in care giving while giving care to myself, it´s very fragile this PEACE of mind and there has to be lots recoup time and a pace I can mantain peace adn positive mind, body and soul. It shouldn´t need CONVINCING. It should come as naturally as the nest breath. And when doing that question automatically makes me think of exclusion of whatever is driving me worried with. Worry is never real because it´s a negative anteciátion of something in the future that hasn´t happened and may never be substanciated. But we worry long enough to make it real regardless of how true or not it may be. Thus what drove us to the negative? That little echo which forbids to be happy or make conditional to what´s around us where we placed hopes and what more we wanted that truly we forgot where was deep inside. When caring for others or in pain, there is a dettachment to SELF and we take responsibilities for others well being at the expense of our own. Reason is that although we can fully supply ourselves of happy things, people and moments, being a caregiver or having pain is like remioving that choice per resposibility. Now we can´t enjoy until we are dome looking after that person. Now we can´t be happy if we are removed from work and society programming. And we get into this GUILT trip to the extent we DIVORCE our own feeelings and permission to feel ok. We don´t need the roller coaster, but I´d say we DO NEED to feel a little better everyday with the small things until we heal enough to pick up the bigger things and step firmily in the direction we want life to go. Dating and friends I can do without, I think the hurt has to be left alone with no back door for a while for the peace is fragile and having one in there is more than plenty and everybody else can step back into the aquaintance role. And if they care to stick around and show more meaningful ways they can help, gradually we will allow back. But by holding this big hurt, we want to MAKE SURE we are surrounded by LOVE only and not the many pitfalls and craziness people do in the names of liking or loving us. Time to rescue SELF LOVE. No one needs to point where that is. No one can lead us there. What we need s EMPOWEREMENT to SELF LOVE AND FULFILL. And it´s ok not to want more than my dog around for long. It´s just SAFER that way. All else can wait. Good things don´t jump in or out our lives, they come gradually meaning well so they can stay for fully DESERVING that place.