Sleep problems again

Well, sleep is not my friend again apparently.  I have been having lots of nightmares, waking up in panic attacks, and just not being able to fall asleep at all.  It had been better for a couple months so it surprised me that it was being such a problem again.  Tonight as I sit here at 1:30am writing and thinking I think I figured it out.  My mind is rebelling against the steps forward I have taken.  Ever since I decided to get back to work I think is when it started to get bad again.  But why?  It doesnt feel like guilt, Im not feeling sadder but I will always be sad without my family members who have passed away, and I am loving doing daycare again.  So why is my subconscious punishing me?  If I cant sleep I wont be able to work and I cant take anything that might interfere with my attentiveness durning the day because I work alone with babies and toddlers.  The first really bad nightmares this time around were after working all day and having to be "ON" for a 10 hour day.  I havent had to do that since Tom died and it is mentally exhausting to keep the smile plastered on so the little ones enjoy their days.  Could it be that I work so hard at pushing all the feeling back all day that they come up at night?  And if that is what it is, why tonight cant I sleep?  I didnt work today.  So I guess I will go get some milk, and my book and try again to slip into a peaceful sleep.  Good night everyone.  I hope you are all sleeping gentle restful sleeps.  Be good to yourselves. 

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Comment by dream moon JO B on September 28, 2012 at 2:50pm

have u tryed music if u have a favret singerr or a band u like                                                   that my help

Comment by Jayne on September 22, 2012 at 11:00pm

It is so hard to sleep, always thinking of my gorgeous mom. I miss her so.

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 17, 2012 at 3:03pm

i dont no wot set my nite mares off but so far so good with that dream catcher i cudnt take any more nite mares thats why i had to buy 1 i woz drinking that mush diet coke to keap awake i kept on geting told thats bad for u i no its bad for me but i dont smoke i mite drink now and again but diet coke kept me going i no it woz abot 6 or 7 cans i woz worse wen i woz a teanager 

Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 16, 2012 at 9:16pm

Anna, I will definitely let you know what she says and if it helps!:) Until then, I hope you are able to get some sleep! Trust me, I know what it's like not to be able to sleep!

Comment by Becky H on September 16, 2012 at 8:48pm

My sleeping pattern is the same, some nights I sleep fine, all the way thru without any problems, and sometimes, if I DO manage to fall asleep the littlest things will wake me up and I wont be able to get back to sleep, or I just cant get to sleep at all.

Comment by anna l. on September 16, 2012 at 4:15pm

Thank you for the concern and the suggestions.  I may have to invest in a dream catcher and I am going to go now and look at tylenol pm online.  It may just help enough to keep me going until I can figure out what I need to do emotion work wise to be able to sleep naturally again.  Jennifer, if your therapist suggests anything useful would you mind sharing the info with us?  Peaceful nights everyone. 

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 16, 2012 at 2:42pm

i woz geting the nite mare flash backs i woz that sic of geting thm i had to buy my self a dream catcher wish as helpet a bit i just hope it helps

Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 16, 2012 at 10:57am

Anna, I too have been having problems falling asleep. I do good during the day because people are around but at night, my anxiety is off the charts and my mind NEVER stops thinking about her or the past!:/ Going to see the psych Tuesday, maybe he can recommend something. I was doing better at sleep before, mine comes on occassionally then leaves again..it's like a rollercoaster that never goes away! Hoping that your sleep gets better soon!:)

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