Comment

Comment by kathleen akin on January 9, 2017 at 5:39pm

Billy Jo Colt, I understand what you mean, about regret being normal for everyone. I really have huge regrets though. Huge! He always took care of me, and I got used to that. He made everything so easy for me and I had never had anyone like that in my whole life. So I just fell into it. Like he was this pillow, a soft landing for me. I took advantage of that everyday I was with him. I always appreciated it, and I would tell him that he was ruining me with his love. That there would be no one who could ever do as good.

So now I am faced with all the things he used to just take care of without me even noticing. That's the hard part. I didn't know. He did so much and I was oblivious.

I hope he knows now how much I appreciate him. How sorry I am. How I wish I could go back....be nicer, pay more attention to him.

Love him better.

Comment by Billy Jo Colt on December 15, 2016 at 4:50pm

Hi Kathleen, your regrets are a normal part of grieving. I personaly don't know anyone who doesn't regret things after a loved one has passed. Part of this is being unable to accept that the person you love has a terminal illness. We try and block it out, forget about it, push it to the back of our minds. Seldom do we really think about the consequences. Then when the inevitble happens we are caught up in remorse, pain, loss and more. I was with my Mom constantly for weeks before she died of Cancer. Her death was the first one I really had to deal with. Looking back I regret so many things. I would often take my guitar to the Hospis she was in and just sing the songs she liked me singing. In a way that took my mind of the future. I didn't want to think about it or accept it. It is very difficult to deal with something we often find difficult to accept. I certainly did. Yet again when my Dad died, I wasn't prepared for it to happen as quickly. He wanted to go. Then shortly after one new year, he did go. Naturaly and not any other way. I still regret things like not visiting him often enough, or calling him on the phone more. Then when my girlfriend died, I couldn't accept it at all. It was sudden, unexpected and completely out of the blue. A loss of any kind is still a loss. It makes very little difference if we know what will happen. Human nature and our minds work contrary to reality. Please don't dwell too much on regrets, accept them as a flaw in who we are, only when you are ready to. Huggs, xx John

Comment by Carl accomando on December 12, 2016 at 9:12pm

We were so positive she was getting better but the damn treatment was killimg her we were so focused on getting better we didn't notice the decline

Comment by Carl accomando on December 12, 2016 at 9:05pm

I'm having the same problem did we make the right choice for my wife's cancer treatment now im wondering if we did but at the time it was all there was