Moving on ia by all means an ALONE process

I find that anyone getting too close when you are trying to pick up the pieces is more damaging than beneficial. And that is because in their hopes and aspirations for us they TRAP US in the outcome suitable or perhaps minimal acceptable by them. Excuse me, but with my full mindset barely knowing where and how I am going, I rather keep an open mind where this all will arrive, Sometimes its more like a roller coaster just as is pushing myself up and doing a thing at a time, the uncertain is not what most peers can deal with, most in fact can´t imagine a day in our shoes to remotely guess what feels like. And those shoes elsewhere I don´t need since they aren´t meant for me and wont stand to the slighest real life test. I think there is something to be said about the SHOULDS and COULDS. And the energy it takes to pretendo everything is fine and going to be great soon. Almost sounds like a farytale or pertaining to a soapopera that is real distant from reality. Reality is a DAY at a TIME, and sometimes we move forward, other times we take sharp curves, and there are also the times we need to take steps back then to move forward. And the traps of people around is EXPECTATION, but just the ones they choose to pick and vest with TRUTH to it. So, at any sharp curve or steps back, they will question every move within their rather inflexible minds of where they put in their minds we SHOULD be at a given time. To us looks like a bug making noises around and we just feel like smashing against the wall the sucker. Patience runs low. Reality is more than a full plate, sometimes I have a hard time digesting whatever is in that plate. The unknown or unpredictable make a lot of people vanish anyhow. So, why don´t we just abbreviate the hell I am more than fine to do without and throw out the sources of potential additional variables to the dumps because that cuts the crap before it starts, really. How many times we have to look strong when we are barely holding our head ups to make it through the day. I understand that whatever people near go with us, is more a million times than their best coping skills. Even family is an exposure that can be tricky. But what´s to say about a person that is living it? And doesn´t need to wonder why and where people went and under what motives they remember later I EXIST. I was always so responsible and keep my word that most of the attentin of people around in a difficult time I think just adds more crap when my craptometer capacity is long overflowing. Imagine how specail people would have to be to put up... I think Iam an ET when i look at society and how they deal with anything or anyone vulnerable, In fact I think somedays here that my place of birth in the moon. Because humans can be a pile of walking BS. Just saying....sight!

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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
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