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Comment by Brenda Ann on December 8, 2011 at 11:19am

Dear Amanda,

 

I just read your comment from Nov 30 and I wish I was there to (((((hug))))) you.  I am sorry you are going through this but I know that you can do it and I know you will do a really good job.  Ypu can find reassurance in the Bible statement: "Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD." (Psalm 127:3) Children are precious in God's eyes. Our Creator desires to see single-parent families succeed. The Bible says of him: "The fatherless boy and the widow he relieves." (Psalm 146:9) As a single parent you can be certain that God is ready to support you.

 

A child is entitled to be raised in a loving, safe, and secure environment that will allow him to develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is each parent's duty and privilege to be used by God to train a child.

 

Many single parents have found that success requires diligent prayer, consistent application of Bible principles, and complete reliance on God. This is in line with the exhortation found at Psalm 55:22: "Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you."

 

It is such a blessing that your Mom can be there for you.  She, as an experienced parent will be able to help you  manage trying situations. Living with you she can espescially help when you are emotionally “wornout”, but your ultimate help will come from God.

 

Happily, many single parents have managed successfully to handle the unique challenges of their situation and raise responsible, well-behaved, God-fearing children. Here are some of the things that you will find helpful:

• Sound home management. Successful single parents strive to be well organized and work hard to coordinate schedules. Proper planning and organization are essential. The Bible says: "The plans of the diligent one surely make for advantage."—Proverbs 21:5.
• Commitment. Successful single parents make family life one of their first priorities. They focus on putting the needs of their children ahead of their own.—1 Timothy 5:8.
• A balanced approach. Neither minimize nor exaggerate problems; seek solutions.  Accept the difficulties and try to cope with them without self-pity or bitterness even against Danny’s murderer.  Bitterness will sour your life and Sebastian’s.
• Good communication. Foster communication with Sebastian and your Mom. Build clear and open expression of thoughts and feelings in the family.  One single father says about his children: "I talk to them at every opportunity. We have ‘cozy moments' when we prepare dinner. It is then that they really confide in me."  Your cuddle time now with Sebastian will become cozy times as he grows older.  Time when you tell him about his Dad and describe the good times the three of you shared.
• Caring for yourself. Despite the demands on your time, recognize that caring for your own spiritual, emotional, and physical needs is important. I always think of a pitcher of lemon-aid - you cannot keep pouring out glasses for others without filling the pitcher back up with lemon-aid – if you do not fill you up, you will have nothing to give.
• A positive attitude. Maintain a positive outlook toward parenting and life in general. Work at seeing positive aspects in stressful situations.  

 

Give yourself credit for the things you are doing already – You could have stayed in your house crying and not taken Sebastian to the park.  But, you got up and took your boy to play even though you knew that other families would be there and it would be difficult.  You had cuddle time with your son when he couldn’t sleep – how reassuring for him.  You must recognize the good job you are doing – I know that Danny would be proud of you – so give yourself credit my friend, I am proud of you too.

 

Brenda

Mawmaw1591@gmail.com

Comment by Masoom Abbas on December 2, 2011 at 11:45am

aww Amanda your post made me cry ..... i know i am going through this situation every day .... just two of us :( no more family :((

*huggs*

Comment by Melissa Broome on November 30, 2011 at 9:17pm

Amanda I'm very sorry..I too have no words of comfort for you :(

@Sue, I'm not leaving my mother behind..But I am moving forward with my life..it's a slow tough road and plenty of obstacles in my way..But I'm still moving forward. My mom is not left behind..she's right here with me giving me a push when I need it..I know your mom is too!

Big Hugs to you all!

Melissa

Comment by sara kephart on November 30, 2011 at 6:36pm

im so sorry amanda:(

Comment by Sue Waxman on November 30, 2011 at 1:42pm

Dear Amanda,

Yes...it is just you two now. It is just me now. How to create a life now different from the one we have lived?

I am praying for a Christmas Miracle for all of us. Moving forward means leaving them behind which I am not prepared to do.

Take one hour at a time. Love Sue

Comment by mercy on November 30, 2011 at 1:16pm

I'm so sad after reading this; this is a tough journey that we are walking. I don't even think I can find words to bring you any comfort but just know you are not alone. We as human beings are ill equipped to walk this journey by ourselves, I hope you find friendship and support here. I pray for peace as you walk this tough walk. God bless you.