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Comment by Caitlin Wolfe on January 5, 2011 at 9:03pm

I am sorry that your loss is so recent, I know that they say that each day gets easier, and I guess eventually it does. This past Christmas was the low point of their death and I actually went to the mountains where we used to spend time together to kill myself. I sat there for two days, as my life ran like a movie through my mind. Something inside finally gave in and I realized that I had more to live for then I did to go be with him. Though I have no family I am reuniting with people that I let out of my life because of the grief. It is hard because I still feel as if I am going through the motions. Hopefully that will change someday. I think to a degree it will always hurt but I know that if he is watching me now that he would be disappointed in the fact that I had given up, instead of living life to the fullest. I think about both of them on a daily basis and sometimes that is what helps me make it through. Knowing that they are still in my heart, the thing that scares me the most is that the emeories will fade and I will forget what we had. Got to go now, but thankyou for you sharing your life with me it does help. Because the I don't know of anyone that has lost their soulmate, and it helps to know that there is some one out there that understands.

Comment by Patricia J. Jones on January 5, 2011 at 3:20pm

I just lost my husband on December 3, 2010.  He was on the UNOS list waiting for a heart transplant.  The last day of his life was horrible and I keep reliving it over and over again.  At Christmas I posed with my two children (no husband, no dad).  I made it through the holidays but barely.  I feel the same.  It's just another day.  I have so much to do to settle things (a death leaves you with a lot of unfinished business) and I just don't have the desire to do any of it.  Hard as it may seem, it's not good to isolate yourself.   There are a lot of very caring people on this site.  Nobody knows the pain we  are going through like others who are experiencing the same pain.  None of my friends have lost their spouses or partners so they have no idea what I'm going through.

I have several women on this site that I email regularly.  It's great to have the support of these wonderful women.  Wishing for some peace for you.