When we are healing, there is something obvious to us that may not be perceived by most. That time is just a convention. Time in our clocks are just for the rotation of the earth and makes easier to plan our dayly tasks. But healing makes day and nights alike and suffering seems a forever and around and beyond the clocks issue. Comes and goes the hurt with no invitation or time of the day. I think if we were to truly give TIME a meaning, we would have to know HOW LONG we would be alive before we die. That way we would have a different rate per hour per say of what´s time worth to US. The less time we would have to live, the more precious each hour would be valued. If we were to be sick most of it, that value would be so much greater. And if we were to experiences so many losses with that, time would be valued more than diamonds. In fact, the most precious gift we can give or receive is time. Money and things we don´t need much, although some of us like to have more than they actually need and are willing to trade health for hectic hours of work and stress. But when hurting 1st or 2nd, or 3rd hand for a few times....it´s very clear that time in the clocks don´t mean much. The stages of grief and progress are measured really with the QUALITY TIME spent in this life. That time we are Content and at peace with our lives. And society don´t really prime or work towards giving us that. In fact it works best to take away any peace and content we experience by making so many needs a must into consuming goods and services. Worldwide most therapists would agree that takes about 2 years to overcome any major loss, being a major loss whatever weights on the one suffering it. Initially seems almost a relief to think that in 2 years we will be just fine and it´s all temporary. But time alone means little, and permanent loss makes for permanent changes. So, if we get used to that ever, it´s hard to say. What is SUCCESS in healing, it can´t be measured. In fact most would agree that we more or less find a new normal we cope a little better everyday, but won´t return for what was. EXPERIENCES do change us and for worse and better at same time. I think time starts gaining absulte new meaning after major losses. We start seeing from the end of it towards life wherever we find ourselves at. And the size of expectations carry in weight even more every second and hour of whatever we have left. Peer pressure anticipates a future and brings about the timing as commonly thought, but really cannot rewind the clock or mindset to prior loss. Neither we would want that. We could use less suffering, but won´t want to forget the lessons learned. I remember that time changed it´s entire meaning to me when in bed for over 6 years with my back trying every treatment available. DAYS and NIGHTS were worth the same and didn´t mean much. I wasn´t going anywhere and there were so many meds to cope with pain, that time awake was not even necessarily welcome, I think would be better to have hibernated and woken up a given day without pain. In and out of hospitals worldwide made me come across people with much less issues and pain in so much dispair that they´d often say they would prefer to be dead. Time alive meant SUFFERING and time alive was just to prolong the hurt. It´s certainly justified when terminal patients loose the patiency to endure so much suffering. And I remember thinking to myself...how come I never preferred to be dead or cease existing regardless what time took and what would come next. And the only plausible answer was one...FAITH. Not in the clocks however. But there must be a reason God allowed me to go through that and maybe one day I will know exactly why. Meanwhile it was a constand resizing of what joy was. They weren´t in the people and places or in material things. i came to the conclusion that life can be greatly simplified and joys could be found even in the smallest shapes and forms, most which we overlook when we are out and about and healthy. And ever since time and joy got to be worth way more than anything material in this world, including the body and pains. There was still intrinsic value and beauty to LIFE. And yes, even the time to grief can be beautiful, and reveal more deep conection to the soul. And yes, I could be happy with so much less. And nop, I wouldn´t care about how many hours or days I hurto more or less, and I´d be content just to be alive. And nop, I would not trade any EXPERIENCE less painful, for the pains seem to have a great contribution in the LEARNING and connecting to an existence relevant to the soul. Although it´s not necessarily EASY to endure crap, there is a lot more learned through difficulties than in the good times. And what is life for? I guess to learn and reflect on what makes TIME most VALUABLE, and I´d think that an existence connected to the soul is the great end result from pain and suffering. And although most people out there won´t be able to relate to this level of existence, I will be alright in not matching their supperficial existence either. the mroe i must dig, the more I need to find to make life worth to go on. And in doing that, I learn more about depths of my soul and have to rethink what beauty must be to carefully accept and embrace deeper inside than most would even like to spend minutes searching for. Whatever I learn in the hardshps however are like advanced courses in graduate studies, they advance our eguer to learn and thus increase the hunger for life. A life richer in so many aspects that its impossible to want to go back as was if we were to loose what we have learned. Learning is ALWAYS investment to live better for the rest of our lives. And into that line of thinking, no one is a half soul. We were born alone and will leave the same way we entered life. So, being with others is all temporary and a gift depending who and for how long, or a curse depending what craps we keep around. We may not choose whatever comes our ways, but we choose how we see life and who we want to walk with. And the lens we see and criteria to choose are best learned in difficult times. Clocks can never measure even how much and how good we can learn and turn adversities into positive learning experiences.