"She taught me that grief is a time to be lived through, experienced fully, and that the heavens will not fall if I give voice to my anger against God in such a time - Elizabeth Watson from "Healing After Loss". 

I know there is anger in me that wants to come out yet my sorrow continues to over power me at this time.  All I have are grief stricken tears that flow non-stop.  I want to get there - I want to shout at God and ask "why me?", but it won't come.  I look at Michael's pictures and want to scream, "How could you!", but instead I cry. 

 I don't want the overwhelming daily grief and tears anymore, I'm exhausted and shrinking into despair.  Please give me the strength to get out my anger - please assure me that I will not betray my son if I get angry...............

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Comment by dream moon JO B on June 29, 2014 at 3:52pm

me 2 i get angry at my slf a lot coz i cant do stuf lk vist sic famly in hopstle im so anyed at my slf

i ask god why did u tk so mush famly away in lst 2 yrs or so or frinds or nbors or os on 

i scream god why i ask did i do any thng bad or wong did i do mush silly mistkes over yrs i askgod why 

Comment by Jesse's Mom on June 28, 2014 at 6:56pm

It has been my daily prayer...since I have now lost two sons...Jesse was son of my heart...I could share anything with him...I tried so hard to protect him for so long...even though his death was "accidental", it fells so planned by the Universe. My name is now "Mara" (meaning bitter taken from the bible book of Ruth)...everyday I cry in bitterness and will sorrow for all of my days. I ask that He take pity on me and shorten my days to be merciful...I will stay in the shadowlands of heaven....desperately banging on those closed steely doors....I will search for my sons all the days of my life until they are found and I hold them once more...

 

I have failed the ultimate...by not evaluating the consequences as I should have...so I now sit in a purgatory of my own making... 

Comment by kim on June 28, 2014 at 3:54pm

oh god how I feel the same way, gale. im sitting here crying  so hard asking my son shawn to please hold me, I cant do this anymore without  him. I have never felt so alone. dear god take me to my baby .i to am so tired and empty. please shawn tell me its ok, hold me again, call me mom please  

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