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Comment by Penny Bridges Oakley on November 2, 2012 at 7:33pm

I also lost my husband a little over a year ago. I tried to stay busy and reached out to family and friends. I thought it would be better if I could just get past the year mark. The year has passed, but it seems worse. I think I was in shock the first year. Now everything just seems so final. I miss him so much.

Comment by Brenda Doughty on October 25, 2012 at 6:19pm

That business of grief...it is hard, hard work. I found another site out there that has helped me quite a bit called Navigating Grief. It has inspired me to tell Michael's and my story. I really do miss Michael, but I think that the issue I have really struggled with is that when he died, that was it. I never sensed him near, felt like he was close, like he was watching over me, nothing. It was as if he had never even been there, and yet he had profoundly affected my life. Last night I realized that maybe I couldn't sense him because I had shut that part of myself away to keep from hurting anymore. I started digging into my Michael boxes and realized our story is there. I am working on it, and it has already helped me feel a little more alive. I don't believe it is a magic book, but I do believe helping Michael come alive through my memories and perception will help me deal with the pain and help others in the process. Thank you for sharing with me. I also have a facebook page and it is under Benbe Doughty. You are welcome. Take care, Irwin and I am happy to listen also and will keep you in my thoughts.

Comment by irwin Dresner on October 25, 2012 at 4:37pm

Hi Brenda,  I am sorry that you are still suffering the pain of grief.  It is 3 years  for me and My deep grief and depression is still strong.  i have gone for help at the va and other doctors but i am still locked in it.  Today I got more grief help from the v.a.  I was in combat in Korea and it was not as bad.  I live by myself and my children who live in other states hardly call me.   I certainly can understand how you feel.  I was married for 48 years.   For 3 years I been cooking for myself, cleaning the house and with no one to talk to.  I just hope that your neibors at least sdpeak to you, my once friendly neibors do not even look at me.  I became a poet and I have writen about 15 poems.  You can see some of them by going to google and puting in--IRWIN DRESNER-POET.

I truly wish that I could help you  but I cannot even help myself.  I just started taking meditation.  I am going for depression and grief help but its not puting a dent into it.

I live in new york and my kids live in other states.  Please feel free to write to me and let me know how you are doing.   If you go to my facebook page and look at all my photos you will see a number of newspaper articles that they did on me.   I hope that you feel better and feel free to write to me.     Irwin Dresner