I've been getting ready to head back to school recently, and today was my registration. Robert was hit on a Friday, about a week and a half before school ended, and I was excused from all my classes that last week, including my finals. So, the whole school knows about Robert, and i could tell by the way the teachers looked at me. They knew who i was, and they knew what i lost. The way they looks at me... I know they just feel bad, but i feel like I'm in a different world from all of them. I have memories of he and I in that school, too, (He graduated when i was a sophomore) so it's hard for me to think that I won't ever be making more memories with him here. It hurts. I have been able to use his death to get out of some things though- I wanted to change my schedule so that i could see my boyfriend and friends more often, and the counselors aren't supposed to change it for that reason, but for me they did, right after asking if i was doing any better, obviously implying that they knew about Robert. I can't go anywhere, not even my real dad's families' houses, without people saying or thinking "hey, she lost her brother recently." it sucks. I want it all to be better-- But i can't imagine how many things would be different if this didn't happen.
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