One thing I learned in the roller coaster there is to recoup, nearly NO ONE is the right company. Most don´t understand the triggers and after they see what does they blame instead of SUPPORTING and being a healing part of the process. I am used to lots of people wherever I go and do what I need to do. But when it comes from this emotional stage where balance is very fragile on my own, I had to pick wisely and be VERY SELECTIVE. Most people i the family are way behind and try one way or another to pull me into their own mess. It´s that reason alone that makes them very hard deal, and I am not about to make their life or mine any easier by getting crap and return crap. I can do without. The drama addiction is not mine and never was, unlike some others now that are way less strong emotionally and kindness to the soul there is LACKING if there was any ever it´s noe complete ABSENCE. As much as I´d like to give a helping hand in their coping capacity and expanding inwards and learning to be kind to one another, I´m not nearly as patient and trying just to get crap looks suicidal attempt to me. To help one out the drama they MUST enjoy a life FREE of DRAMA. Not all people are like that. In fact, a lot crave even the most negative attention they can get because it´s attention in some way or form that they value more than zero drama. In my case I love my life very far and free from drama, and I do all to get back again into a NORMAL. NORMAL for me is centered and not easily tipped off by allowing few come close that have a calming effect. The difference here is that to some DRAMA is NORMAL. And thus they never quite surpass that because the rewards are right there with what they expect life to be. And dragging us around and blaming is just a daily exercise they learned to ENJOY, master, and call family. But they are like cancer, they only live off pointing others in the ways they fall that cliff right after they pushed you there. Tha prerrogative is that they are RIGHT, and I must BE WRONG. Of course their ideas orf right and wrong are very twisted. In my ABSOLUTE ABSENCE there as former care giver, there is not anything for them to interact for. For an abusive person, the ABUSING part is a must but falls in their own cracks when no one puts up to be abused and learn each time they bring up a new conflict thei cause, it´s one LESS DOOR in my life. Some people have shut so many doors with me from their abusive manners, that they are blocked from phone and my building and I basically avoid their presence to cases i am ok to pretend I don´t listen or react in interactions, and sometimes the timing for that interaction to be ok is less than 5 minutes. Every time they see me or speak, they can´t seem to understand I have no interest in any part of the drama they make out their lives and care giving to be. I remember the exact same people saying I should get a life. As it shpws now, the person pointing and criticizing is just describing their own LIVES. I live just fine outside their range, but some seems would rather die trying their crap ways to drag me around. If they only used half that energy to make their own life nearly as good as I made mine despite all ods and made sure to be a conforting experience to them to be close to my mother, well I guess I´d quite enjoy some company. But as is, I am just fine with MY OWN LIFE. I sometimes think all they did to STEAL that place from me of care giver was a BLESSING IN DISGUISE from GOD. Now I am living my life the best I can but if anyone wanted me back in the role of care giver, I´d just smile and say NO SIR or NO MADAM, with mother was ok, but with this family crap the price went too high and I´d opt out more often than I ever considered being there in the forst place. But second time, call me stupid if I want this again. I really don´t miss anymore, because under bad care givers and their mess even my mother became influences and addicted to the bipolar ways she had a life long history of putting people against one another. THe only NEW part in this, is that I REFUSE TO TAKE SIDES. THe only side I ever needed anyhow was the most neglected in the process...MY OWN. I guess they will have to learn how to walk with each other in a more positive manner. I gave the example, and that´s the best I could give before their greed took the best of them and they lied theis ass of to take from me. So, for as much as I care, they better learn to live with what they created but make no room for my participation in any shape or form because that a nuts full basket,