Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
My 36 year old son Christopher died April 5th of an alcohol drug overdose. He is a Christian and fought addictions for many years. I have tremendous guilt praying I could of helped him-saved him. A few days ago I saw an Angel, just after saying I wish I could hear Chris say "Hi, mom, I love you-then the Angel appeared it was above me in the sky, there was a path leading up to where the Angel was. It was real and I was overcome with emotion. I feel happy about this. Sad : because I know some people think he can't be saved because of how he died. I pray for understanding and support. Thank you....
Alicia its not you who determines when its time for someone to die... and you can't always fix other people's hurts ... you tried.. thats more than most family members do... but I can tell you are the kind of person who keeps trying even when its probably not working anymore... like me sometimes... I hope you can be kind to yourself.. your pain won't help anyone ... even you...
I dream of my sister almost every night . In the dreams she is not dead she looks the same as she did before death. I have lost both parents and 2 brothers all dreams of them were they died. I was my sisters care taker. I had to place her in a board and care for mental illness because of yrs of addiction RX drugs took its toll on her. I had her living with me for many yrs off and on for 45 yrs. My husband and sons and myself couldn't handle it. The grief I am going through is worse than I have ever felt before. Although we were 1 yr apart me being the oldest, I feel like I lost my twin. We were nothing alike. She was very meak and passave, I am strong will say it like it is kind of person. I had 4 siblings 3 are gone 1 is left also RX addict. I hurt so bad that I am not a strong woman any longer. I started therapy in hopes of getting some answers. I wish someone could help me the Guilt is killing me. WHAT DO I DO.
Hi. My best friend who was like a step-mother (I would never say mother because it seems disrespectful to my Mom) passed away on January 24. This is after losing my Mom, my Dad, my Uncle, my step-mother-in-law, and several friends in the recent past. I'm handling it, because I'm going numb after that much loss. So, I'm not really ready or able to talk about the pain right now. What I am ready to talk about is the dreams. With all of them I've had dreams that seem so real. My friend Mike died four years ago. Two years ago, his Mom died. Right before his Mom's funeral, I had a dream that she was with my parents and everyone we'd known as mutual friends who had passed on, and I was watching the party. They were having fun. My Mom who was normally very shy even got up and sang a song. Then, Mike came storming in and he was madder than a wet hen. I asked him what was wrong and he started ranting about how men only use women for sex. After his rant, he looked at me and said, "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here. Get out." I woke up then. At the funeral, his wife told me she had recently started dating and she knew he was mad because he was actually visiting her. She said she saw him sitting at the side of her bed. And, she said every time she comes home from a date with the boyfriend she now has that pictures fall off the walls or things fly across the room. So, I thought - I didn't know she was dating or that he was mad about it, so was I maybe really there, because he sure let me know in the dream he was mad. And, that makes me think all of the other dreams I've had are true. I've had dreams about my Mom and my friend Linde Grace who just died and it seems like I'm really with them. I'll tell you all about them later though cuz I can't tell the whole story in my first post. I haven't had any dreams about my Dad, but believe it or not he called me on the phone for six months after he passed away. My most recent dream from my friend who just passed away was it seemed like she was teaching me a life lesson that now other friends are telling me she had talked to them about her wanting this for me. So, just wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone - has anyone else had these dreams? And, sorry to post this and say I'll be back tomorrow to talk more, but I'm going to have to go to bed now, because I'm leaving early in the morning to go to an out of town birthday party and may not be able to speak with you all until tomorrow night after the party or Sunday morning, but I sure am looking forward to seeing what you all have to say. God bless you all as I know you all are grieving too. May God be with you.
i nok i no its nt a hums sine bt wot abot a pt pet sine 2 day i had sines frm cat lcuy lucy pls dnt me be mad it me sory if iv arxd upst 2 bt 2 day sum of her otys toys trnd uo tyhy did it wz lk a sinse sayin she wz ok shes ok on my kitns havin her toys she wz its lk she s sid my dad th r bth 2 geth agan bean hapy agan thy r im sory if i carz upst i am only sayin ths coz i carsd upst on aner sit i did ovr grivin fr my cat sory if i destry a pesn 2 i am its just coz i mis evry 1 its gon himens pets so on
Susan I just now saw your post below.. from Nov 5.. sorry I missed it all this time.. I wanted to tell you about my dad.. mom passed many years before dad.. I told you about that awhile ago on here.. dad lived alone in their house for many years after but eventually became ill and died in the hospital .. before he died my sisters and I had a big falling out because I felt they were not listening to me about what was happening to dad and they made me leave the hospital.. so I couldn't be there when he passed away which made me so sad ... but one sister told me how dad kept saying that my mom was coming to get him in his chariot at 9:30 .. they thought he was just delirious and didn't pay much attention .. but dad died at 9:30 the next morning...for a long time I never felt dad's presence, but in the past year or so I have smelled his pipe smoke all around me where there is NO source of pipe smoke anywhere... those signs are real.. I know they are.
I know Angela.. I treasure each one ... at first it seemed those little 'coincidences' and 'unexplained occurrences' happened so often.. now almost 4 years later they seemed to be so seldom and not as dramatic and i miss them.. maybe I'm just not looking so hard these days.. I don't know what it is but I sure do miss them .. I have no doubt that those 'signs' you were given were from heaven.. how they are sent and by whom exactly I don't know .. are they actually sent by our loved ones? or from God on behalf of our loved ones? I don't really care how.. I'm just so glad they do happen .. because its what keeps me going and keeps me hoping for the day we will be together again.. amen.
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