Grief:  Nobody on this earth would blame you if you became depressed and didn't want to carry on, but sometimes the mind can work powerful miracles. Even in the worst times there is hope and you should never give in to the dark storms that are approaching.  Hold on to the LOVE!

Yesterday I said I was not going to dwell on the loss of my wife Cheryl, today I am, at least in this blog post.

It's another morning and I have been lying in bed for a few hours hoping to fall back asleep.  But I have had no luck.  My mind of course has been thinking of Cheryl.  Of the more than 31 years we knew each other, and how we had so many experiences together that we could always share a private laugh.  And now those memories are only mine.  They feel like such a…

A note fell out onto the carpet today, and it was left behind by my mother, it reads, “when we focus all our time on grief, we lost out on our present and our future; instead of dwelling on what we are losing, focus on what we still have” I felt like I was receiving a sign from my mother that I should not dwell in my grief at all times. It makes sense my mother wrote it, because she lived her life fully till the end.

Being diagnosed with stage four cancer did not subvert my…

I cannot forget how my mother died and I don't know if she is just dead or in a better place

My mom rarely complained even though she was diagnosed with stage four…

The strangest thing happened to me a few days ago. I went out for a walk on my own, a rare occurrence as I usually have my two little people with me. But this day I was alone. I strode off out of my gate and along the waterfront where I live. A moment or two passed when I realised how tall I seemed. I felt like I was walking on a cloud. Somehow I felt elevated. I wondered if it was simply because I wasn't pushing the buggy and looking down at the…

When Lily died I missed her with all my heart and soul; but I wasn't lonely. I still had my husband. Our conversations filled in some of the gaps in my life that being without Lily left behind.

Recently, however, I have been without my husband. I still have Summer and Riley to play with…

I am having a challenging time with a specific person in my life right now. Amidst all my preparation for Christmas I need to deal with this person who it feels wants to drag me down as low as he is feeling! I have been trying to focus on all the amazing support and love I have been receiving from my special friends here on this page (thank you again). I have been trying to not take it personally, to just feel sorry for him and the pain he is feeling but today it got the better of me and…

It has not even been a week since her passing and today being a holiday to spend with family and loved ones giving thanks for ones blessings... As I sit in my home alone reflecting on my life and my many losses I can cry a river of tears and easily feel the need to retreat to a dark place . I am not gonna let myself do that ... My mother , all my grandparents, brother, aunts, uncle ,cousins, friends and beloved pets who have passed on would not want that for me. 

Sure I let myself…

Some people feel that I'm at an age where the absence of my mother should no longer affect me, the way it use to. Granted, the way it use to affect me has changed, but the outcome is still the same. I still miss her and I find new ways to miss her the older I get.…

I heard your lame jokes that one day..and found them so very interesting...

I saw your smile few days later...and just loved it..

I saw you looking at me in the crowd...and the feeling was indescribable...

I didn't realise when I had fallen for you amidst adoring you..

Didn't realise when keeping you happy got the highest priority in my life and when I started dying just to be friends with you..

And yes,life had given me then what I wanted...we started…

I heard humming upstairs,

like a moth against a screen.

I thought it was you;

I ran up towards the sound, a

pillow of warm expectations

clutched inside my pounding heart.

It was not you.

A fallen Christmas bulb

circled around wooden floors

singing in bright colors with

dancing, bouncing bells

I heard glasses of peppermint

martinis clink together,cheer in the

next room at a holiday…

If we could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
For yesterday and You.
A thousand words can't bring you back
We know because we've tried...
Neither will a thousand tears
We know because we've cried...
You left behind our broken hearts
And happy memories too...
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted You.

I don't understand how some people can be so insensitive, like they were never taught to be considerate of the loss of life, to think about what they say or how it affects the person they're saying it to. Last week my 7 year old son's physical therapist asked me, "So is your summer getting back to normal?" I was stunned...uuuuh let's see here; my son DIED on June 20, 2011, he was 18! He's not ever coming home. He's never going to be a chef. He's never going to be a husband. He's never going…

What's to say when all is lost, when the words don't matter now

yet I find myself in constant need to spit them out somehow

struggling to convey to you although the moment's passed

to heed the words we spoke to you, but now the dye is cast

Days tick by, a silent count thrust upon my heart

one by one they pass me by, whisking me beyond and far

never leaving me time to breathe I beg time "slow down for me"

as though I had but whispered,…