All Blog Posts (2,631)

Should dignity be sought?

"Blessed is he, who has learned to bear what he cannot change, and to give up with dignity, what he cannot save." Friedrich Schiller

Added by M Adams on February 1, 2019 at 12:00am — No Comments

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.

Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.

Added by M Adams on January 20, 2019 at 11:07pm — 1 Comment

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i…

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Added by Pamela philipp on January 16, 2019 at 11:49am — No Comments

End of a Chapter, but It Is a Long Book...

Looking back at the totality of Jennifer’s accident, death, and ultimately my grieving process, it is strange that my psyche knew that I could not handle the loss and delayed it…albeit 30 years.  While I went through a grieving process in 1988, it (obviously) was not enough.  Perhaps abbreviated to save my sanity.  Whatever the reasons, it seems that my mind (or soul) knew that I was not able to deal with the magnitude of this…

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Added by Speed Weasel on January 14, 2019 at 9:30am — No Comments

The Gardener by Patricia Hooper

The Gardener

Since the phlox are dying 



and the daisies with their bright bodies



have shattered in the wind,



I go out among these last dancers,

cutting to the…
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Added by M Adams on December 11, 2018 at 7:30pm — No Comments

Strategies for feeling better -- sound reasonable

[These recommendations from psychiatrist/tv personality Dr Amen came via this morning's e-mail -- despite the 'celebrity doctor' context and the rather directional tone, they seem worth consideration, at least I basically agree with them, and am trying to implement them -- will paste below in case they are of potential interest to others on this site.]

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There is a saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go…

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Added by M Adams on November 21, 2018 at 10:08pm — No Comments

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…

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Added by Pamela philipp on November 18, 2018 at 3:24pm — 5 Comments

Descendance

I feel myself slipping.  I take medicines to alleviate the spiral down.  I have renewed skills in putting on the happy face…outside.  When I get home, I just want to be in bed.  It is not fair to my family.  It is not me, in the normal sense.  It is not fair or right for so many reasons.  But I cannot stop.

I…

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Added by Speed Weasel on November 18, 2018 at 10:30am — No Comments

Who copes best with loss? Men or women?

In Jane Austen's novel Persuasion, Captain Harville and Anne Elliot, surprised by a bereaved friend's intention to remarry, debate who loves longer, men or women, and how they weather loss of love.

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... with a quivering lip [Captain Harville] wound up

the whole by adding, "Poor Fanny! she would not have forgotten him so soon!"

"No," replied Anne, in a low, feeling voice. "That I can easily believe."

"It was not in her nature. She doted…

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Added by M Adams on November 7, 2018 at 3:30pm — 1 Comment

Grief Unpaused, 30 Years Later

(Pardon the length, brevity is not in my nature and this has been bottled far too long.)

 

The Notification

 

I was going to school at Kansas State, but that day had returned to Topeka to visit friends.  I rolled into my parents’ house about 3am on the 18th of October and went in to squeeze my mother’s foot, as was the custom to let them know I was…

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Added by Speed Weasel on October 24, 2018 at 1:00pm — No Comments

No reason to live

No happiness.  Nothing to look forward to.  Constant pain.  Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them.  Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden.   how could life be so cruel?  It’s just not possible.

Added by Virginia G on October 11, 2018 at 2:12am — 1 Comment

In black and white

Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses.  Finally got them done.  I just miss my mother so much.  I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen…

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Added by M Adams on October 10, 2018 at 4:37pm — No Comments

To my mum

There will never be a day where I don’t think about you, there could be weeks where it doesn’t cripple me that you’ve gone then all of a sudden it’s like a bus has hit me And it’s like that morning all over again. There’s no pain like this. It’s like someone’s pulled the curtains on your life it’s over now you’ve got to make a new one with no reason as to why or how to do it. The people that you thought would come and show you what to do or be there are no where to be seen…

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Added by Daniella on October 10, 2018 at 4:51am — No Comments

What happens when a person dies?

The pain of losing a loved one in death is unlike any other. What tends to add to the grief is the unknown. What happens when a person dies? I find comfort in a Holy writing that states, “the dead know nothing at all”. (Ecc. 9:5) If the dead know nothing, how can they suffer?

 

I rest my hope on such a…

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Added by Mike H. on September 29, 2018 at 7:37am — 1 Comment

Brief on Grief

Hi beautiful people,



I lost my father last year, a few months before starting my Masters in Innovation & Future Technologies.

I have used his loss as a source of inspiration for my project, and will really appreciate your participation.



Below is a link to my survey (which, is not very long):

https://goo.gl/forms/Qw74fKCXAKHtwXXk2



All information will remain confidential and will only be used for…

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Added by Alex on September 25, 2018 at 7:31am — No Comments

Is there a chance to see my dead loved ones again?

Well, I sure hope so. What a joy it would be to see them again. It would take a miracle, but is this possible? The Scriptures speak of a resurrection of the dead (John 5: 28,29). There are also nine Scriptural examples of people rising from the dead.* I hold on to the hope of one day seeing them again!

*1 Kings 17:17-24; 2 Kings 4:32-37; 13:20, 21; Matthew 28:5-7; Luke 7:11-17; 8:40-56; John 11:39-43; Acts 9:36-42; and 20:7-12.

Added by Mike H. on September 15, 2018 at 8:00am — 1 Comment

still broken

it has been three years today since I lost the love of my life, and I am just as broken today as the day my wonderful husband left this world, I have had so many people tell me time will heal you and you will be ok that is an absolute lie the only thing that has happened is I feel like I'm in this horrible nightmare and can't wake up, days go by then months then years but you are still lost there is no getting over it as people say the family I thought would be there also a lie I am alone…

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Added by Pamela philipp on September 14, 2018 at 12:54pm — 1 Comment

Are my loved ones suffering after death?

After the death of a loved one, I always wondered were they suffering after death. It is interesting to note that the Holy writings state "the dead know nothing at all" (Ec. 9:5) It is comforting to know that my dead loved ones are not suffering and for that matter, cannot cause any suffering. This Scriptural teaching has provided so much relief for me and many others.

Added by Mike H. on September 9, 2018 at 8:31am — No Comments

More than one kind of leaving

“I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.”



― Dorothy B. Hughes, In a Lonely Place

For a long time after my husband died, I couldn't read.  Before the ability to focus that way came back, I found that certain phrases and passages that I'd encountered long ago were appearing in my mind and sticking there, and that continues to happen, though I am able to do a certain amount of reading now.  Many of the phrases…

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Added by M Adams on September 5, 2018 at 2:18pm — No Comments

Receiving and Providing Support

As with many people, when I lose a loved one in death I seek support. Rightfully so, the death of a loved can be the most difficult time of a person's life. I also would like to take this opportunity to relay to others the same support I received. This support may provide comfort for others as it did for me. When a person dies, the questions that come to my mind are:

  1. Are my loved ones suffering after death?
  2. Is there a chance to see my dead loved ones…
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Added by Mike H. on September 1, 2018 at 6:18am — No Comments

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
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"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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