To everyone whom has replied to my posts that I have not replied to yet, I am sorry for that. It has been on my mind every day. I am away at the moment and I do intend on replying and wanted each of you to know that. I will reply when I can find the energy and time to put into my replies.

Thanks for your patience and understanding. 

God bless you all

Lee. 

i thnk xmas 2013 will be hrder thn lst yr it will be coz aftr my dad died lst yr i dnt thng i cud luze mre famly ths yr or frindss of famly or nboz ths yr 

it dnt hlp plyng xmas songs in oct it dnt advtizng stuf in aug/sep selng xmas crd in julllly it dnt i no i sond lk a msiry sonso i usd 2 luv xmas 1 tm i did bt nw it mks me feal sad…

I lost my husband in a car wreck a couple of months ago and I am still reeling.  We married very young and were married for 23 years.  Through our marriage, we had been told we would never be able to have children, nursed each other through many illnesses and tried to be as supportive of each other as possible.  The minute I laid eyes on him, I knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  He was my best friend.  I always imagined us as elderly people, holding hands and…

So I had to ask the seargent on my brothers case if the killer had remorse during their interviews..he didnt really want to tell me but did say he did not lose any sleep over the 3 murders he didnt even think he would get caught..Now that Ive seen his face i am struggling with not hating him..he looks like the devil...God forgive me..

About a week ago I had a dream. I was at a large family gathering. My aunts and remaining uncle were present and I was being introduced to a small boy, maybe 4 or 5 years old who was linked to my late uncle Jim (whose baby son had been adopted out at birth over thirty years before and none of our family had ever met). My uncle, like Lily died of cancer. This uncle whom I so adored as the gentle, funny and charismatic…

almost 3 years later it hurts that my dad won't be around to see me make it big as an actor and give a cool speech during a toast if I ever book my first movie and have an after-party. There is nobody else that I would want sitting in the audience of my open mics and there will never be another person that cared about my acting dream as much as he did, my father was not only proud of my acting but he showed up to all 8 shows, even snuck into reversals and the director, producer, and all of…

Oh, I had written a reply on Change of Seasons and lost the whole thing.  Just needing to empty out my storage tank of sad thoughts.  Writing it out, talking to my son sometimes helps.

Coming up on another winter/holiday season and thoughts (memories) are running wild again.  Two nights ago (out of the blue) I pictured the snow that was on our deck the first winter you were not here.  Maybe it had been the first snowfall that year - I can't remember that.  All I know is that…

The death of your loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges: As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.

Many people do not experience the stages in the order listed below, which is okay. The key to understanding the stages is not to feel like you must go through every one of them, in precise order. Instead, it’s more helpful to look at…

i dnt no wish yr wz worse ths yr or lst yr 2 me lst yr coz i lost my dad wish hrts me 2 mush thn ths yr i dnt thng i cud lose mre peple lk lst yr  its dec 2013 i drnt thng abot 2014 

i dnt thng grief cud hrt as bad ths till nw i no wen i wz a tran i lost peple but now im a mush oldr it seams 2 hrt very bad it…

http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/cf/slideshows/8-tips-for-managing-stress-during-transitional-phases?ic=8833

It has not even been a week since her passing and today being a holiday to spend with family and loved ones giving thanks for ones blessings... As I sit in my home alone reflecting on my life and my many losses I can cry a river of tears and easily feel the need to retreat to a dark place . I am not gonna let myself do that ... My mother , all my grandparents, brother, aunts, uncle ,cousins, friends and beloved pets who have passed on would not want that for me. 

Sure I let myself…

Many say to take grieving a day at a time...but it is really a breath at at time...as we carry grief with us in every breath we draw in.

I have found since the loss of my beautiful mother that I have to think about doing things...instead of just doing them...and this is because I don't really…

Finally my episode is over! Whew! Every time I go through these episodes I gotta wonder if I'll live through it. This was a bad one no doubt about it. The nightmares were horrible. The anger was fierce, and the sadness overwhelming. I'm not sure if I learned anything from this one because it's too soon, but I'm so glad to be somewhat back to normal. I haven't thrown a temper tantrum like that for a long time. Anything within my reach I threw. My bedroom was a mess, and my house was also a…

My husband recently passed away and my spiritual beliefs are helping me to stay in a place of peace. Yes, his body failed. We have such fragile human bodies. But I know it is up to me to keep his spirit alive.

It has really been rough lately. Lil Dels birthday, the weather getting cold, and raising heck with my arthritis, and the topper, having to put down our precious dog Zero. I posted about Zero on facebook today. I wanted to wait to say anything about it out of respect for my husband, and Zero. Anyway my husbands cousin wrote, and said "Playing God is the worst part of owning a pet." I felt as if I had been slapped in the face. I thought she knew me better than that. I don't consider putting…

Today at 5:15 pm our best friend Zero went to heaven. The discs in his lower spine were slipped, and cutting off the nerves to his back legs. A few years back a man with no heart I presume, rolled our Zero down the gravel road right in front of my husband, and on purpose. That was the beginning of the end for our wonderful dog Zero. Since then Zero has had trouble with his hips, and back legs. It's a strange thing, but he had been acting like a pup for the last few weeks until this passed…

I played football today with a boy who said he didn't like me. Those few simple words tore my heart out. Yesterday I opened my computer and there was a picture of a tattoo that my husbands nephew just got on his arm. It was a picture of a cross with both of my sons names on it. It tore me up. Needless to say I didn't sleep at all last night. I have been feeling so good inside, and then one picture tore me to tears. It seems that along the way I always get blindsided by things like this. I'm…

Well after 2 years I finally put up a picture of my husband, Tom.  It is one of my favorite pics of him.  We were at the provincial fair and our youngest grandsons were playing around behind him.  He was having a good time that day.  It was taken almost exactly one year before he died.  On his list of things he wanted to do when he knew the end was coming was to take all the grandkids back one more time.  He did not make it. 

You would think after all this time having his smiling face…

We just passed the 9 month mark. It is just so surreal. My son in law and my granddaughter and I spent the day together. I wore a pair of her jeans, the urn/locket I have and one of her watches so she would be with us. We played putt putt golf, went to the video arcade and ate out. The weather was a typical cool fall day. She would have enjoyed it so much. The pain isn't as sharp as it was but all day the next day I felt such sadness and loss. I look at her picture and see that beautiful…