Just that same old prayer, God, that you have heard cross my lips a thousand times--  please, please let her pass gently in her sleep...

July used to be my most favorite month of the year.  Me, my sister and best friend all have birthdays in July. I normally spent the whole month lounging beach side and having a great time enjoying warm, sunny days.  This year that all changed.  July turned into that dreadful month when I lost my dad.  My warm summer spat in my face on July 6^th.  My dad had a stroke in May and slipped into a coma.  In late June we were told that he would not likely be waking up and if he did, he…

Sometimes sadness turns into rage. Other times it turns to words on a page. Luckily for my knuckles, today I chose the latter.  Enjoy. 

This place is too familiar. I was sent here not too long ago. My heart was stamped with a life time pass that I never wanted. A membership to a 'Not So Amusing Park' where there is No amusement and No fun. There are long lines but so much loneliness... Only emotional roller coasters that seem to shoot downward…

 By last Friday, I felt like the grieving was eating my brain. I told my husband that I just couldn't take it anymore. It was either me...or my grief.  I told him I just had to go somewhere, anywhere that wasn't a reminder of everything I am grieving over. If I had my choice of destinations, I would have run away to a deserted beach by an ocean, like the lovely oceans in JO B's photos. But since the ocean nearest my home is about a thousand miles away, I had to chose somewhere else. So I ran…

I know i have one issue that i am dealing with...and that's in a part of my only son, who after a nasty divorce from his father, and an ugly situation..., my son doesn't want anything to do with me or any communications..so now i have to deal with the loss of my only son....how sad!

I feel for all who are suffering.  After 5 + years  I still grieve, feel empty after losing the only person who Loved,respected, supported me as I did him.   Married 46 yrs. We were a team.   Struggling  like all of you.  Loss  of  2/3   of husbands hard won pension  was a kick in the teeth, life savings  going fast , many bills,  illness, RX's ,  care taking,    Honesty, Fairness ,integrity  is lacking in our corp,  lobbyist, billionaire controlled country.  Bless you all 

I lost my husband in November 2015.  I felt so numb at first, now I just feel pain, sadness, sorrow and grief.  I live in a very small rural community (everyone knows everyone's business) and there is no support group here.  I work at the local convenience store and have a very hard time at work some days.  I know most people do not want to really know how I am doing, but they politely ask anyway.  Some genuinely care and ask.  I never thought losing John could hurt so much.  I wake up…

 I was with my friends last night.  And usually, when I am with friends, I am able to push my grief down deep inside and hide it.  But for some reason, maybe because I am feeling tired and suffering from "burn out", my grief decided to make an appearance in front of everyone. And there it was:  the big white elephant in the room. My eyes suddenly became like water faucets. Tears were streaming down my face faster than I could dab them away with a small square of tissue. And then, of course,…

this pain is so unreal, I keep waiting for my beautiful son shawn to come home, to phone me. its been so long since I heard his voice. god im so dead inside, full of hate and empty. why wont he tell me hes ok, happy, and with me everyday?  why wont he come back to me why? I pray everyday to die, why wont he talk me to shawn, why does he make me suffer so bad?my tears never stop, but my life is over,oh please give me my baby back,if theres a god  take me to him please   

I'm not usually a judgemental person, but I was reading a magazine today and one of the articles was about a lady who's husband had died 9months ago and she was talking about how she had met a new man and was ready to be in love again, and how her husband would want her to be happy again, I know Andy would want me to be happy again(never gonna happen)  but i can just not understand that , it just doesn't make any sense to me,in fact it makes me think she must be a horrid person, I know I…

Last Wednesday, I was feeling particularly sad. I've always been a hack poet  so I wrote this

little ditty down to vent some sorrow and feel a bit better. It helped.  Hope it can help you

abit.    Mel

YOU TOOK HER FROM ME GENTLY   M.Royer  Fri, Jan 22, 2016

You took her from me gently, on that shining springtime day.

It was warm, the sky was bluer when…

evry pic i sea a person is missing 

 It's Monday, and I hate Mondays--for two reasons now:  starting over another week, and my beautiful, funny, loving Mom passed away on a Monday. I was thinking, this evening, how much my life has changed since she died.  I used to put in a days work and then go spend the evenings over at Mom's. My husband was healthy then, and often worked till late in the evening, so I spent time with Mom, Dad, and my son at her house. We ate together, then she made us watch  "Wheel of Fortune " with her.…