Everything seems fine until I get a call from the social worker saying that you told her that you want to be put in a home with Mommy.  I'm in total shock. For the past week I've been looking for in home care for you and Mommy; someone to help you take care of her.  To run errands for you. So you don't have to do so much work.  She tells me that they won't release you until I find a rehab place for you.  For the past week I've been taking care of Mommy. Dressing her, feeding her, figuring…

As I rush into your hospital room, I see you look at me and your face lights up. It's at that moment when I realize that your face always lights up when you see me. How haven't I noticed this before? You're shocked and surprised that I'm there. Of course I would be. Where else would I be? Mom's sleeping in the room, someone there looking over her. I tell you not to worry, I'll look after mom for you.  Everything will be fine.  Everything will be fine.

Thankfully you remember…

Waiting to get off the plane, my cell rings. It's a dear friend in NY calling to see if everything's ok.  As I tell her all I don't know, I break down.  I don't know how my dad is, or my mom.  I'm worried about the $1000 I just spent that I don't have trying to fly here. And I'm worried about how I'm going to get back to the new business I just barely opened less than a month ago.  As I cry into my cell, the woman that has been sitting next to me on the plane, and hasn't spoken one word,…

It's 11 pm, on a Saturday.  I got a call from the neighbor that you are in the hospital.  He found you by the front door, fallen into the planter and couldn't get up.  You were there for 3 days.  Newspapers piling up on the driveway alerted him that something was wrong.  He looked in the front door window and saw you.  Took 20 minutes for him and the paramedics to break into the house to get to you.  I called the hospital and they wouldn't tell me a thing thanks to these stupid privacy laws,…

Hello, all. My mother died on January 2, 2011. I was in the hospital room with her. This is the link to another post if  you'd like to read an account of what happened. http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bereavement/forum/11508820-realized-ill-never-hear-her

I've experienced many deaths in my life, but none of them have been like this. Long story short: When I was younger, (Death has…

Ariel had gotten me an electornic gift card from Amazon for $50 for Christmas, with the request that I use it for something fun. I finally got around to ordering a couple things that'd seemed fitting, a couple of books on Bagua and a plush toy from a movie we'd seen last fall and really liked.  Those came in on Saturday.  The books were good to get, and have been interesting to read through so far.  I think there'll be a lot to digest there, and it'll be good to have them help with my…

I'm confused and lonely. I'm sad and dejected. I miss her. I couldn't stop crying this afternoon. I'm not sure what comes next.

My dear Becky boy....

Another day without you and it hasn't been any easier. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and I'm sitting here thinking about how much you would enjoy today. I can just imagine you laying flat out on the grass, with the warmth of the sun shining down on you. You loved that spot in front of the…

It has been two days since I put my beloved dalmatian dog, Beckett, to sleep. Grief and guilt have overcome me and I'm finding it hard to function in my daily duties. Some people may question why this is so hard... just a dog right? Not Beckett - he was our son. My husband Tom and I adopted him as a pup when we bought our first place together. We don't have children and Beckett was our son. …

It's been two and a half months since Ariel killed herself.  Sometimes it still feels very unreal, like it's somehow not what it should be.  It's hard to FEEL like it's real, even though I intellectually know I haven't seen her in that long and that a lot of her stuff is gone and I've got a copy of the M.E.'s report on the examination of her body and her ashes are on a shelf in my office.  It just is hard to consistently get and stay next to.  I don't know how much of that is from how much…

Question: What makes anyone think that after a month that I would stop missing him? I am finding more and more that people are very understanding for the first week or so when you feel like life has really thrown you a curve ball, but less and less as time goes on. I am not even talking about uncontrollable crying or crippling depression, just bring him up or getting misty eyed when mentioning that you don't know how you are going to cope with the holidays this year. It makes people wonder…

I dreamed last night that my Papa was alive, but conditionally. It felt like we all knew he would have to go again soon, so the urgency made us try to make the best of the limited time.

It was Christmas and we stayed together for days, with no one leaving. Then my Papa proposed to my mother again, so they could renew their vows. It meant so much to us all and gave us hope. But before the day was through he was gone again. It hurt so much more in the dream, to have him again, then to…

This poem may have already been posted here, but I found it and have been helped immensly by it.  I thought I would once again share it.  It is not one that I have written. I hope it blesses you as much as it has blessed me.

MESSAGE FROM HEAVEN

To My Dear Family Some things I'd like to say,

But first of all to let you know That I arrived okay. 

I'm writing this from Heaven Where I dwell with God above, 

Where there's no more tears or…