I lost my Mom unexpectedly on Sept. 2, 2011--my dog on Nov. 4 and my husband on May 6. I am unsure of how I am supposed to feel right now. I go between being "fine" and unable to speak because of the tears.

Just something I wrote for school...  Don't know if it's good or anything; just thought I'd post it anyway to see if anyone liked it!

Looking down I pick up a dandelion, make a wish and blow; the little seeds float to the sky, and past the clouds.  Sighing, I look around hoping and praying.  Dejected, I make my way home.  Opening the door, I walk over to the living room; entering my family room, I see you.  You’re young; still your four…

Hello everyone (( HUGS )) as per usual im broken and it is not getting better its worse and this time it was not  just  me but Sarah the 14 year old amber's best friend and sister fell apart something she had not done i think she was trying to be strong all she kept saying was it hurts so bad mommy i cant stand it i cant stand it mommy horrible we sat sobbed for hours , and there was nothing i could do to help her other then hold her rock her and say i know mamas i know its OK to cry she was…

Today, folding clean towels I realized I have stopped using one of my coping strategies.  After my son died I started carrying a facecloth in a sandwich bag in my purse.  When I would have a meltdown out in public I could go into any bathroom and sob into the facecloth.  If I wet it with cold water I could cover my face with it and it helped me calm down.  Then I could wash the mess off my face, soothe my eyes and tidy up before facing anyone again.  I never left home without that…

It seems I never fully get over what the Cancer did to mom....I drifted back to it today. She was the nicest women I ever met. She had very few whom disliked her. She believed you could talk out all your differences with someone. Witch is something I have never been able to do but she lived by it. She treated everyone like family no matter who you where or where you came from. She would have given you the shirt of her own back if she knew you needed it. To watch the Cancer just totally eat…

I'm turning to an online grief support site because I don't know where else to look.  I feel like everyone in my life is either too close or too far from what happened, and those who are in between are not around.

I'm dealing with a lot of anger and I think it's taken me a while to admit that.  But when people ask me how I am, or I consider this anger, I can only think: How should I feel?  Isn't anger one of the stages of grief?  At what point does anger go from grief…

I seem to miss my Dad more each day as I approach the one year anniversary of his sudden death. My Dad was a Veteran, but never fought in a war. With today being Memorial Day, I felt the hole in my heart deepen when I heard the patriotic songs especially Taps played at our community Memorial Day Ceremony. I have not heard Taps played since his funeral so it brought back the feelings from that day when the service members presented me with his flag. It may seem horrible, but I have not been…

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have…

Grief and pain are the price we humans have to pay for the love and total committent we have for another person. The more we love, the more we are hurt when we lose the object of our love. But if we are honest with ourselves, would we have it any other way..... Jason, your in my thoughts and I pray your at peace.

Grief and pain are the price we humans have to pay for the love and total committent we have for another person. The more we love, the more we are hurt when we lose the object of our love. But if we are honest with ourselves, would we have it any other way..... Jason, your in my thoughts and I pray your at peace.

 I have been married 34 yr. My wife is from Taiwan. I met her in New Mexico. 5 to 7 yrs ago she had to have dialysis. In the past year or 2 she has has had problems. One time she had a cardiac arrest. In the past month she went back in the hosp with heart problms. The hosp put in a pace maker and new heart valves.Since all this was done she had blood pressure problems which became more severe and breathing problems the breathing improved but then went bad. She developed some sort of…

Going through pictures for the first time since last July when I had to pick pictures for my husbands memorial.  This time it is to find those pictures of my husband with his kids to give to them on Fathers day.  How can something that used to give me so much pleasure now cause such a gut wrenching ache in my chest that I cant take a breath?  My heart really truly aches!!!!  Maybe this was not such a good idea afterall. 

MY NAME IS DAVITA. ON APRIL 9, 2012, MY LIFE WOULD FOREVER CHANGE. 2 POLICE OFFICERS CAME TO OUR HOME THAT MOURNING TO INFORM US THAT OUR 13 YR.OLD DAUGHTER, DESTINY MONEE SMITH, HAD DIED IN A FIRE. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!WHAT!!!!!!!!!!I FAINTED!!!!!!!NOT MY BABY. SHE WAS JUST STARTING TO BLOSSOM AS A TEENAGER, WHY SO SOON GOD? DESTINY HAD DIED OF SMOKE INHALATION. ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT IS MY BABY IN THE FIRE.......................BUT SHE DIED FROM THE SMOKE, SHE DIED FROM THE SMOKE. GOD DIDN'T…

I once told a woman I understood her pain when she told me her daughter was stillborn after birth. I had gone through a miscarriage years before and thought I knew what it was like to lose a child. Now, 11 years later I know I could never have understood her pain until I lived it. On May 2, 2012 I have gave birth to twin boys who died within hours after birth because I was only 22 wks and 2 days pregnant. I cannot wipe from my mind the doctor standing next to my bed telling me I had done…

On Thanksgiving of this year, I called my Mom excitedly to ask how to season my first Thanksgiving Turkey. This was my daughter's first Thanksgiving and I was floating on Cloud Nine. I was also nine months pregnant with my youngest daughter. I spoke to her for a little while. The plan was to eat our dinner and then head up to her house for dessert. I got off the phone when my 10 month old started to throw a temper tantrum and promised her I'd call her back. "You better!" She said before she…

Have you ever felt like the world was crashing down on you

and no matter how successful you are

Nothing matters

Your loved ones are ringing in your of things will be okay

When it's not

My mind is boggling of regrets of things I wish I would have done

before my parents died, my mom recent of 6 months.

The generations before me are gone

And although I have siblings I still feel alone

My love life, I have none

I feel like…

Feeling lost and so alone today.  Like everything is too much. My friends tell me that everybody copes differently, some go on a huge cleaning binge, I tried that (and for the record I hate housework because it seems no sooner is everywhere cleaned then kids and dogs mess it up so it looks like I did nothing).  Obviously that didn't help except to make me a little more upset than usual. Usually when I am feeling down I can bake and feel better, but now that doesn't work either.  Just reminds…

i just came back from a vacation trip along with my son. he enjoyed his time out there and out of the house for a bit. i missed danny so very much and would have given anything for him to be along with us during our vacation. however, seeing my son's joy and happiness, was just amazing, like if I was seeing danny and feeling him close to me at all the times. although, i had guilty thoughts I dont regret it at the end. i love danny so much and know how much, deeply he loved our son, and know…

If I knew it would be the last time

That I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly

and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time

that I see you walk out the door,

I would hold you kiss you hug you and beg you not to go.

If I knew it would be the last time

that i would hear your voice and laughter

I would have video tape every moment every word and every action

If I…

So, my dad passed on April 23rd...I`m getting married August 4th. We have a cottage on an Island ( which my dad`s father built in the 50s) and this place was my dad`s favorite place ever. He lived to go up there on summer weekends...he would even stay weeks up there. This place is so special and reminds me of my dad. One of the main reasons why I am getting married up there is because of my dad. Now my dad is gone...and I have to continue the wedding ( less than 3 months away)...It doesnt…