Ok that´s odd. I have 3 fractured ribs. My drs and I had a hard time to grap the motive, a simple fall from my own height for a medicine peak of low blood pressure. What is even more amazing is how the people around us react when we don´t know what´s wrong but know there is suffering and pain. You know the type....the types of people who think she must be exagerating, or pitiful for a second or regretting their own attitude. What does it say about them? I think that´s why we feel like wild…

Mamazing that many people think they should have a vote to what´s not theirs to start with. FEELINGS, I think each and every human being is entitled to the FULL RANGE of their own feelings. And I wonder when people tell us how to feel...if I get a vote back to jump out their crap...or tell them what I feel about thir standards of whatever is the NORM. Reality is we all feel hurt, lonely, happy, wonderful, ugly, pretty, crying, laughing...you know, just the whole human range, but there is a…

I guess coming out of hell looks like everyone has a routine in life much like varius channels in one tv, none of which we can relate. Human race can be inhospitable. And we want to join, and believe in a channel here and there, but none of it sounds like true deeper inside. It´s like watching a dance whereas we are pretending to know the steps but couldn´t care less about doing it, taking part. Relationships are like a bubble and inside lives another being and the best I feel like getting…

I think it´s safe to assume the mind holds the best refugee camp in the world, like an oasis to the desert. SOmetimes we forget time and space in this inside trip. And brings the same outwards. When we feel opressed or pushed or in any stress event, that hidden place seems like the only heaven we can have on earth. And times like this we connect to the people and events searching for some deeper meaning to make sense of it all. In my case it´s being nothing easy to sort out what is…

I think that most of us being through the craps of life in 2st person, 2nd, 3rd or all 3 at same time; can use a little less weights to carry. Keeping the relationships light or as light as possible, responsibilities down to the basics and not buying into any additional drama can do a lot more good than we think. The tendency is to see all life from a suffering lens in a forever horizon, or alternatively just svery short ter makes feel a little better type of thing. It can be common to enter…

So tomorrow was mother´s day, I wasnt feeling well at all and treated for back pain. While it was raining outside, conditions not favourable for any venturing out. I had bought a card for mother´s day and a rose. As I went past by them in the way in and out the kitchen, the HOLIDAY bug would try it´s GUILT trip. I had called my youngest sister and she didn´t want to go see my mother either. Since my sister too the care from me it has been so much hell to see or mother, that we came to grips…

Procrastination is the ultimate REBEL inside us all. It´s the defying of time and the so many obligations that life imposes to us. I know procrastination here is at it´s best when LIFE has lost most meaning and that fire inside is null. It´s as if the rest of the world makes a clock to go in circles and we want out SILENTLY. It´s a plase to refuge quile refuting the purpose of the clocks. It´s a statement of stuck with the feeet right where the mind is, STILL. Looking for peace to coexist…

Indeed life is interesting. The people hanging out have much to say about where WE ARE. Not because they are all good or bad, they are just BEING THEM and focusing in their BELLY BUTTON. It´s human nature, that´s all. What happens over time that makes some of them OLD NEWS, is that we grow out the need to have them. In fact whatever we most admired became a new stepping stone inside SELF. It´s not about COMPETITION, it´s about looking at mirrors and trying to cope with what looks not well…

THere is no way to come out from a loss not feeling STRONGER WITHIN. THere is no EASY way out, there is a swim against all human crap and a LOT of digging DEEP WITHIN. The hurt opens wounds that EXPOSE the SOUL with a MEANING that most won´t ever get. And we come to this point whereas we don´t have to BELONG to what is not improvement. We can let go the weights HOLDING BACK. Tired and done with the crawling and spreading the wings. Its all an inside job anyhow. We just go where our MIND…

Sometimes the emptiness of it all visits. You know that feeling at evenings and weekends, as if life is happening elsewhere. I don´t feel an engaging part. The parts to play are just not there, inside me. It´s the emptiness and quiet that is so loud. And I pick and choose and all comes back to hunt. As if happy faces are somewhere I don´t quite belong, and quitecan[t forget. Feels like in between life or else. Not that bad because not going for cheap thrills. Not weel enough to enjoy life as…

As much as I´d like to take life quite serious, it´s not necessarily in my control and each jerk reaction out there yeah, I want to kick ass too. There is kiss, kick and put up with and as much as I´d love not to engage, life engages a few of those in that daily course of life perhaps to make sure we also belong to HUMAN RACE in the full range of what means to be part of it. I wonder what time does. Some people seems to be highly unaffected by time, positive or negative, more like 5 year…

It´s one of those things so much easier said than done. At days I st myself in the challenge to only SPEAK positive. Well it´s near IMPOSSIBLE to say and think good all the time because the peers, events and stuations demand from us different. It´s more possible when I am away from people and the interactions. Doctors visits for instance. People and this world is in most cases so deeply ROOTED into a NEGATIVE dynamics that we feel quite compelled to complain back just because in order not to…

When we have a loss we go through stages that arent forever, they move along like a roller coaster of a range of extreme feelings. Like a roller coaster between anger, frustration, sadness and feels like there is no end to the HURT. By interactions and a pattern of attracting equals in any level of interactions there may be, if we were to watch ourselves as the third person holding a camera to our outer expression we wouldcertainly qualify for best actor/actress of a mexican soapopera. We…

Best things in life don´t cost ANYTHING. This is my experience s a pet owner. There is so much more my dog gives me than most humans being will ever be able or WILLING. In her world I am her best friend, she puts her life in danger for me. If I went hungry, she would be right next to me. When I am in bedrest she does never leave bed before I do, NEVER. She just gets food, shelter and love...but her LOYALTY is much beyond what I can possibly give her. She is my friend, companion and…