There is a part of being human that is perhaps more evident to who is more an INTROSPECTIVE person. The part in me that the REBEL takes charge and propulse CHANGE. It´s not visible to others necessarily. Because it is in such a deep level, that most don´t quite read right. Works like this. When a lot of people tell you things that are not remotely acceptable, you make a longer distance from them to you. And they wonder what´s wrong, and of course they wont point at themselves reading you…

Sometimes we get so caght up ih the realms of the what ifs and the have nots and the souldn´t, couldn´t wouldn´t. And what we miss is to find joy in the small things, to smile for the right reasons, and simply EXIST. We put so much pressure in that smile to happen that the guilt or whatever problem shuts the opportunities to ENJOY some more, and allow all to go and fall in place with a little less participation and letting time for things to eventually fall into place. It´s as if we trust…

Shifting the mind to the PRESENT is not only good, but necessary. THe PRESENT is the only time that EXISTS. The FUTURE and PAST are not real. They are a construct of our feelings and experiences and projections. The past is not only facts but attributted feelings and worth of experiences. Some taught, some were good, and some we chosse to forget. No matter what bringing the past to the present and projecting forward is a CHOICE. And most of us grieving don´t FEEL it´s a choice. In fact, we…

Many of us wonder if there will ever be PEACE. It does depend upon PEACE is mentally a real possibility. Meaning, you can´t achive what you don´t believe you DESERVE. As SOULS, we don´t come to this existence in pairs, and there is a reason people walk in and out our lives in one way or another, and that is because they are no longer NEEDED, and most likely it´s not for us to decide. It´s contemplation of what is and was that will lead to this very valuable conclusion. Creating to the soul a…

After so many days and nights in this internal struggle to LIVE in this body and mind that more resembled a world war, being mty body the place and my soul the victim. Only echos of hurt propagating this waves of internal constand struggle. I removed myself from a lot of things, so I could sort out what was internal and triggers and just finding peace was a hard enough JOB. And out there more crap to my crap when craptometer is already running on overload. TODAY I FEEL ALRIGHT. First day in…

Healing is not about fighting feelings. I think the more we fight them the more neglected they become and come back worse and in ways that makes for a poor outles to say the least. These feelings cannot be neglected, and yet cannot be just discarted. THey have to be DEALTH with. In the realms of HEALING, we must recoup enough to no longer need them....to be able to let go, detach. It´s so much easier said than done. Some we think we are done with return from the dead given triggers and…

I remeber asking that myself sometimes when the worry sleeps with me and is stil present in the morning. Almost like a nightmare we fight the mind off to sleep, and it´s right there in the minute we wake up. For me thats the time to put some positive input in the brain. And since heading out and about even for a dog walk can be difficult with the pains in my back, I must try something else. Medicines altering the brain, I am very allergic. Thus in the times I´ve been in bed for over 6 years…

Here is something to help rescuing the mind from the negative thinking by replacing by positive thinking and ALLOW HEALING to take place. Guided meditation and music helps to bring the mindset back to the present and in the positive side of life. My favorites are from LOUISE HAY. There is more online. ENJOY!

Morning guided meditation 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jNV1FV-_Os

Self Love…

As I start regaining grounds of my OWN LIFE, it´s amazing how many people love to through some crap to get a negative reaction. Of course if they touch my HURT the WRONG WAY, they gained just MORE DISTANCE form my feelings and life. It´s not about them. It´s about TIME my life is ABOUT ME. If they cared to SUPPORT my HEALING, they WOULD NOT be doing that. Settting me off will work just perfect knowing exactly where my HURT is, but in fact what they just EARNED was a greater physical distance…

Life CHANGES all the time according to our perception and choices and opportunities presented to us. Some changes are more abrupt and unwelcome than others. And some are more than welcome anytime. And we can´t wait for that change to happen. Fact is CHANGES are part of life, and acceptance makes a little easier every day. Coping with loss of course is time consuming and hard. And even when we come to accept, peers around us love to throw us right back where we were. By reminding how good it…

When we are healing, there is something obvious to us that may not be perceived by most. That time is just a convention. Time in our clocks are just for the rotation of the earth and makes easier to plan our dayly tasks. But healing makes day and nights alike and suffering seems a forever and around and beyond the clocks issue. Comes and goes the hurt with no invitation or time of the day. I think if we were to truly give TIME a meaning, we would have to know HOW LONG we would be alive…

Being the caregiver changed where I was going in more ways I could sense at the time. I was to remain single to take care of my ill mother. I was to have no life other than from emergency to emergency. I was to work and take care of myself AFTER the needs of my mother were taken care. I was not to go anywhere outside the city boundaries, and always near home and with the cel phone charged. I was not to drink one drop of alcohol just in case any emergency came up and I needed to drive. I was…

Strangely recently I caught myself in this repetitive loop of my mind taking me repeatedly to this GHOST PLACE. Well, a place I used to have happy moments with my mother. It´s a place we used to go have lunch or just relax having some pop to drink. It´s a pub at night, buffet at lunch time. Basicallty it´s run by a large family and open 24 hrs a day every day of the week. It´s just across my street, thus in my way in and out to other places. For about a good couple months I have been…

One thing I learned in the roller coaster there is to recoup, nearly NO ONE is the right company. Most don´t understand the triggers and after they see what does they blame instead of SUPPORTING and being a healing part of the process. I am used to lots of people wherever I go and do what I need to do. But when it comes from this emotional stage where balance is very fragile on my own, I had to pick wisely and be VERY SELECTIVE. Most people i the family are way behind and try one way or…

I remember when the family got involved in care giving after so many times they were called to help but couldn´t care less, in fact most had a LOT to SAY. But little DOING. But roles reverse, don´t they? I kept doing and all their critique was just lesson learned to do more and talk less. Because talk is useless around people who swallowed the truth in their tiny small little worlds. THE SAME PEOPLE finelly getting involved was that mess multiplied into one bad choice after the other. But…

Moving life forward is relative, isn´t it? Basically there is no point in getting into action mode until we understand WHERE we are going or WHY. In the many hard times and multiple losses in my life, I gained EXPERIENCE that life is not about who MOVES FASTER, rather who chooses wisely the DIRECTION they are advancing life TOWARDS. There are too many roads to take and much to invest of time, energy, and resources. In society, it´s common to confuse wealth with health, doing versus quietly…

Sometimes we suffer from wanting a lot things that are not to our actual benefit. I find most of the loops in our minds leading to acke for the lack of anything can be simply because we are not sleeping well. And because of all we went through, the mind goes back to what it was. But it´s not by facing the world´s crap or putting the face out there to get hit that we get anywhere GOOD in ters of life balance. In fact, it´s quite the opposite. Limit exposre and realize when exceds craptometer…

CAREGIVING versus GIVING SELF a LIFE. Being a caregiver can be quite draining. As I divorce myself from that situation and deal with OWN life issues and things...the path back is quite something. Everyone around got used to what I did for the sick one, and never really bothered to ask if it was ok with me. Not that I wasn´t there or didn´t have my own opinion, just that I held back and kept to the back of my head the thoughts and words which would not be of any benefit to that person elder…

The clock stops. It´s that time of the day to get lost and found in a realm of emotions by NOT neglecting. Just like letting the waves come and go until the waters can calm down. To allow whatever helps dig deeper that PEACE that can be hard to find outside our own SELF there. To find a level of interactions that arent just crap on top of a mountain of crap, you know, that limit that allows to reverse easily from bad to good, to actually start enjoying life some more and more. But because…

DETACH. When illness or whatever loss we face in the first person or else, we are forced to rethink what plans we had that will no longer work. Its like crying for what should, could, would have been IF that NEVER HAPPENED. Yes, the future of our PLANS change constantly shaped by the options in the PRESENT. Future is nothing more than lots of present time summed up. And the incident of loss is just a sometimes cruel reminder for connecting to the present and erase the projections and…