Ok, so I have been in here since the beginning of August last year. My grandma past away suddenly and I joined the community, because I was looking for closure. Still haven't found that. We were close!!!! I guess, if I did not say anything it would have been like she never went away, that I wouldn't have to deal with it. I did not want to deal with it. I didn't want to accept that she is gone and I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye!!!! Sometimes I don't want to accept that she is…

dear jess,

        You been gone for what seems like forever, it'll be a year the 12th of March. It's crazy sometimes to think about some of the times we've had together. Getting stranded with friends, hanging out in the rain by the river. I want so bad to be able to get back to me but all I see is the emptiness I feel without you. You made me wanna be a good…

I have 7 grandchildren.  The oldest is 21 and the youngest 2 are both 11.  Four boys, Three girls.  Losing their uncle in 2010 was the first real experience they had with death.  It was hard, yet kids have their own way of looking at things and they knew he had suffered enough.  That he was ready to let go of his crippled, pain racked earthly body.  But then their big strong Papa got sick.  The papa that took them to the Provincial Fair every year.  The papa that taught them how to read the…

My name is Vivian. I lost my 16 year  son on October 23, 2011. I am hurting so much and noone seems to care what I am going through. When I bring up my son they want to change the subject which upsets me because I am basically going through  my grief alone. My husband isn't here for me he just pushes me away. I miss my son so much, his death was unexpected. He was sick off and on for two weeks before he passed away. He was going back and forth to the doctor. First they said he had…

My name is Vivian. I lost my 16 year  son on October 23, 2011. I am hurting so much and noone seems to care what I am going through. When I bring up my son they want to change the subject which upsets me because I am basically going through  my grief alone. My husband isn't here for me he just pushes me away. I miss my son so much, his death was unexpected. He was sick off and on for two weeks before he passed away. He was going back and forth to the doctor. First they said he had…

Hard to believe that it has not even been 5 months yet. I cry every day for you, I miss you so much. On one hand, it feels like just yesterday I hugged you and told you that you were not a burden to us, your children. If only I had know that would be the last time I touched you - I would never have let go. Everyday I cry, every day I replay the call I got that told me you were gone. Every day I remember that last day when you did not want me to leave. It is so hard some days to even put one…

For those who don't know me, my name is Adam. My mother died seven months ago after fighting breast and bone cancer for ten years. I took care of her for most of that time and when she passed it took a deep emotional toll on me as well as my marriage and school efforts. During the time I was caring for her I was trying to attend nursing school and wasn't able to focus well and ended up failing the program. I became very cold and distant and ceased to care for myself or my marriage as I…

Time is passing by and it seems to hurt a lot more than in the beginning. At the beginning I was in so much shock that I could not believe Danny was taken away. His life was taken. He was killed. Now, 9 months later, instead of feeling a bit better, I just feel worser and worser. It feels as if reality is sinking in harder. The reality that he is not coming back home. The reality that I no longer have him here with me and by my side during nights or in the mornings when I wake up. Reality…

 It's been almost 7 months since I lost my Mom. Sometimes I still can't believe I haven't talked with her in so long, and that I never will again. Being so far from home has made it easier to pretend that she's back home and fine. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept that she's really gone forever. I feel like my life is still on pause and I have no idea where to go from here.I wish I could talk to my Mom about this. She always knew what to say.

 I still have a lot of…

A year ago last night, is when my life officially changed. The night I got a phone call that Dad was in the hospital.. collasped. No one would tell me how he was or if he'd be ok. Fly out on the next flight. I didnt' know how I would feel last night.. but I remembered more than I thought I would.  More than I wanted to.  It was like reliving that horrible night all over again. Then I didn't know that that would be the last month I would have with him. That for 2 weeks he was fine, and that 2…

It is so difficult to see another piece of history end. Waves of the past keep flowing over me. Memories. . . such good times. . . our friend Jackie will be missed as is her sister Paula each and every day.  Thank you, Jackie for remembering everything about me and all your smiles and hugs and always putting Jehovah first. It will be wonderful seeing you and Paula and making new forever memories together.

So, I've never written a blog before, never felt like I had much to say. I guess I still don't have much to say, but I have always written in journals and things like that to help me through tough situations. So I think I will use this blog to document my healing progress.

It has been exactly 8 months, 2 weeks, 1 day, 2 hours and 51 minutes since my best friend Nathanial Cavalenes passed away in his sleep. In all that time, I figured I should be okay by now. But I'm not. Far…

I can't believe she has been gone for almost two years now.  I'm still so emotional and I miss her so much.  Her children keep me sane, even though they moved to another state.  I really miss them too.  I'm very tired and can't seem to concentrate so I'll be back later.  My sweet sweet daughter, Brittany, I know we will meet again and I can't wait. 

HELLO EVERYONE,

I AM NEW HERE AND NOT SURE WHAT I'M DOING.

I LOST MY HUBBY ROGER TO CANCER LAST OCT.

AND I JUST GET SO VERY SAD AND LONELY.

JUST WANTED TO COME IN HERE AND SAY "HI" TO EVERYONE.

AND GIVE YALL(((((HUGS)))))

GLAD TO MEET YOU ALL.

Dorothy

Just a few minutes ago I was enveloped by a wave of grief. I know that it is partly due to me making plans to move closer to school and I am frankly lonesome today. It had been a relief for the last couple of weeks for the knot in my middle to have lessened in its intensity. Today I feel shaky and tired but I know like I know my name that it will be okay. It's just an odd day.

Today is 6 months since Candance was found murdered in her home.

I pray everyday for answers...........I pray everyday that the forensics reports come back.  I pray for the strength to make it another day........

I have had several conversations with the police dept............they fight me on everything...........almost as if they dont want to solve her murder.

I plan on starting a letter writing campaign to the Gov. of Texas.....maybe he can try and fix the mess at the…

How do you know if you need to go to a grief support group or get a counselor? I don't know what is normal. I barely get to work and then come home and take care of my dog. Sometimes call my sister. I prefer being alone and don't answer the phone unless it is from someone that also has huge losses. - My mom passed November 17, 2011.

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my husband passing away. It feels like the last 3 years I've been stuck in a long dark tunnel unable to move forward or backward. They say "you only die once." But in my mind my husband has died 365 days a year for 3 years. It was to the point I couldn't sleep. The doctor kept upping the dosage of zoloft but there was no relief. 

This year, 2 days before christmas, I had enough. How much stress can a person take?  I lost my husband, I lost my job at the…

       I lost my friend to melanoma in Oct. He went very fast and the whole time he was in treatment,I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it,it scared the shit out of me. So I turned to humor and sarcasm to try and cheer him up. I was very close to him but I was close to his partner. Still am,and its not like I hung out with them alot but I was there in hospice when he was dying. He was unconcious and a ghostly shell of a human being.  It was powerful,emotional…