Wendy Wright
  • Female
  • Clementon, NJ
  • United States
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About Me:
My name is Wendy. I am a wife, mother of 2 beautiful girls and one little guardian angel. I"m not sure what to put in this area right now. Maybe later on I will have more to say.
About my Loss:
On September 23, 2010 I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, Jacob Soloomn 17 weeks early due to PROM (premature rupture of the membranes). I was in the hospital from September 13, 2010 until October 2, 2010 recovering from a c section. When my Jacob was born, even though he was so premature, he was doing well the first few days. He was even breathing on his own with the help of CPAP.

On September 27, 2010, the doctors advised me the had found a bacteria in Jacob's blood, a gram negative rod bacteria which turned out to be E coli, from then the complications kept escalating. He started having issues with his kidneys leading to kidney failure, he was having issues breathing again, so they put him on the ventilator again. He began having problems with his blood pressure, it kept dropping and no matter what the doctors did they could not regulate his blood pressure. Jacob then began having seizures. Everyday that went by my husband and I prayed and prayed and kept our faith as strong as possible.

By September 29th, the doctor told me that there was not much more they can do except try blood transfusions and platelet transfusions. They tried all the antibiotics they could but by this time the infection spread to Jacob's Central Nervous System causing Meningitis. On October 2nd. the doctors told me that Jacob would not survive this battle and if he did, he would be very sick and not last a long time and would have many many complications including cerebal paralyses. that night I was able to hold my beautiful son for the first time since he was born. With all this going on my husband and I still still kept our Faith and prayed for Jacob's health. They laid him on my chest with all the tubes and all I could feel was his little body having seizures, one after another. All I could do was hold him tight and kiss him and rub his back. My husband and I were exhausted after a long night and took a nap, while my parents and sister watched Jacob throughout the night. My husband and I prayed for God to give Jakey a miracle and make him better. I asked that God's will be done.

At 7am on October 3, 2010, the doctor came in my room followed by my sister and parents, I thought I was in a nightmare. The doctor told me it was time to remove the ventilator because at this point Jacob was suffering from all the seizures and nothing else could be done for him. I didn't want to see his little body suffer anymore. I remember walking down the long corridor to the NICU and seeing my baby lying there helpless, swollen because his kidneys had finally given out and he could not get rid of the fluid in his tiny precious body. The doctor gave him an extra dose of Morphine so he would not feel any pain and disconnected his breathing tube. It was like ripping a part of my heart. He laid in my arms taking his last breaths, finally no tubes down his throat, no more poking and proding by the doctors, he was finally in mommy's arms and soon in God's kingdom.

On October 3, 2010 at 7:53 am, the Lord took my son to be with Him in heaven. I held my son for 2 hours after that. My husband, two daughters, my parents and my sister were all there supporting me and saying goodbye to this precious angel. I have never experienced a "loss" in my life. This has and is the hardest thing to deal with. Everyday that goes by I think that it is getting better, but it doesn't. Everytime I see a baby commercial or anything that has to do with baby boys, I breakdown. Everytime I see my Jakey's picture or his urn I cry, everytime someone mentions him I cry. I know Jacob's in heaven and he is my guardian angel but when does the pain in my heart start to subside? I had my son for 10 days and it was the best time of my life to be able to hold a gift from God even if it was temporarily. I love you Jacob, you will forever be in my heart. Mommy and Daddy love you and like my husband told me today, I didn't give just give birth to a Son I gave birth to an Angel.

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Why Me?

It has been 17 days since my baby boy went to heaven. Where do I go from here? I have joined every online support group possible. I am currently reading 4 books to help me with the grieving process. I have gone through boxes of kleenex. I have received more than 15 bouquets of flowers and plants, over 30 sympathy cards and I still don't know where to go from here. Who said there is a standard grieving process? I have been called by several family members trying to console me, calls from…

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Posted on October 20, 2010 at 3:24pm — 3 Comments

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At 1:18pm on October 25, 2010, Kayla Nelson said…
On September first I also gave birth to my daughter due to PROM basically. Membranes were bulging and they delivered Skylar Grace by c section because she was still breech. When she was born she cried and everythign was looking good. She was doing most of her breathing on her own but they put her on a ventilator to help her out. 15 hours later they had us rush to her bedside because she was declining quickly. They were performing chest compressions in hopes to keep her going until we got there. We had her baptised and got to hold her for the first time. I was completely numb and unsure of what I was supposed to feel. In her last moments I was begging God to give her a miracle but to also take her to end the suffering. It made me feel like a bad mother and I still suffer with that today. She was our first child and will forever be our baby girl. Now she just looks over us from heaven instead of being in our arms. If you ever need to talk I am always here. I do have a personal email address and cell phone number. Whatever you need or want. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is. But together with friends, family, and God we will make it through. Just remember that God is holding Jacob in the palm of his hand until you get to meet him again.
At 4:05pm on October 20, 2010, sheila kerr said…
I am sorry for your loss I am new to this site my husband passses away 7 months ago from a long battle with cancer,but I can not imange the loss you are feeling for your baby boy.I will keep you in my prayers for you to at least find a little peace.GOD be with you and your family always.Sheila Kerr
 
 
 

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