Sharron Anderson
  • Female
  • RCH CUCAMONGA
  • United States
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Numbness and Anger
29 Replies

For the last three weeks I have been unable to feel anything but anger and numbness. I feel like I am slowly dying inside. Everything annoys me. I don't want to be around friends or family. I have…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Sharron Anderson Apr 29, 2023.

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Sharron Anderson replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Been there too. I've cut those people out of my life. You really learn whose in your corner when you lose someone and I am finding very few are. Strangers are more supportive. Hope you are ok."
Apr 29, 2023
Blue Moon replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"I hear you Sharon.  It’s hard to know how we really are doing.  I’m in 1000 pieces but look very presentable and can still carry a conversation.  To all the people who know my beloved just died but feel the need to bore…"
Apr 29, 2023
Sharron Anderson replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Thank you for checking in on me. Let's just say I'm still here functioning as a numb, lifeless shell of a human being. I am the walking dead. I don't see that changing anytime soon. Don't know how I am functioning, I just am."
Apr 29, 2023
Blue Moon replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Life is a Beat Down.  There are no answers only more questions. Knowing anger is part of the stages of grief is only one more thing to know….not helpful. I hope you will be able to open up to friends and family when you are…"
Apr 28, 2023
bluebird replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"I can understand not wanting to deal with his family. My husband's family is....not good. His father is well-intentioned and not a terrible person, but he basically abandoned his children when he divorced the bitch who birthed them (she is in…"
Feb 23, 2023
Sharron Anderson replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Hi Speed, I hear you in spite of my anger. The only thing I cannot do right now is deal with his family. I don't trust them and I don't want to go thru any drama with them right now. I need all my strength right now. I am a hot mess and it…"
Feb 21, 2023
Speed Weasel replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Sharon, I know the feeling on the therapists.  Went through three of them myself.  One specialized in EMDR and that did seem to help...somewhat.  One of the things I think that I liked about it was it was a solution.  Not an…"
Feb 21, 2023
Sharron Anderson replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Hi Speed, I thank you for your insight. I am checking in. The therapist is somewhat a waste of time. I feel like I am getting textbook phrases that are suppose to make me get over all this. I don't see it. In this short period of time I am…"
Feb 16, 2023
Speed Weasel left a comment for Sharron Anderson
"Sharron, I also saw one of your older comment in "Traumatic, Sudden Loss" about not being married to him and feeling pushed aside by the family.  I share that path with you.  I was not engaged to Jen (my person lost), but in my…"
Feb 8, 2023
Speed Weasel replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Sharron, I hear you on feeling alone...isolated.  Some of it is imagined, some of it is actually real.  I know that angry feeling all to well also.Try to come up with specific tasks for people that are offering help, even if it is…"
Feb 8, 2023
Sharron Anderson replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"I went to spend time with my family over the holidays and although it felt safe, I felt alone. I had a couple of meltdowns and then I came back and I some more. I am feeling angry about the upcoming valentines day, I feel angry that I will forever…"
Feb 8, 2023
Speed Weasel replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Don't give people too much credit.  They are all so wrapped up in their own lives that they have very little left over to judge you or even comment.Just excuse yourself and find a private place if that makes you feel more…"
Feb 7, 2023
Speed Weasel replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"As you have mentioned, and Bluebird commented on as well, the waves can crash down and punish an otherwise great day.  Sometimes I just wish I had a camera to videotape the reactions around me.  The mad rush for the door from others. Grief…"
Feb 7, 2023
bluebird replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Hi Sharron; just checking in.  I hope you're doing all right, considering."
Jan 23, 2023
Sharron Anderson replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Thank you Bluebird. I appreciate your support more than you know."
Jan 4, 2023
bluebird replied to Sharron Anderson's discussion Numbness and Anger
"Try not to worry about what other people think of you. The death of a spouse/partner is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and you are not required to act normally or explain anything to anyone. Just try to take care of yourself.…"
Jan 4, 2023

Profile Information

About my Loss:
Fiancee' died from a horrific auto accident. He was in a coma for 9 days and then died. I stayed at the hospital with him. I have no rights to do anything because we were not married. I am angry and numb and lost.

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At 3:05pm on April 7, 2023, Erica Woodward said…

Sorry in advance if my message bothers you in any way,I have something very vital to disclose to you,please Contact me via email: mr.jamespollard01@gmail.com
Cheers

At 4:38pm on February 8, 2023, Speed Weasel said…

Sharron, I also saw one of your older comment in "Traumatic, Sudden Loss" about not being married to him and feeling pushed aside by the family.  I share that path with you.  I was not engaged to Jen (my person lost), but in my mind she was the woman that I would marry.  She too succumbed to injuries from an auto accident.  We had such a deep connection and then it was ripped away.  I never expected to face the bitter side of being so intertwined as when it was taken away.  I felt SO isolated with her absence.  I wasn't family, we weren't married, just (JUST) a friend.  Her family was not outwardly exclusionary, most of my isolation was even self-imposed.  I mean how does a parent process the loss of their child, I didn't want to add to their unhappiness.  I have re-connected with her family, especially her sister who has an absolute heart of gold, but it took 30 years and a bit of explaining as to why I had been absent for so long.  I have taken my college-aged daughter to most (if not all) the times that I got together with her sister.  In the back of my mind, her sister is as close to an aunt as possible.  It is wierd, I'll admit, but I have wanted her sister to know my family as if it was her extended family too.  Sorry for the rant...just been in a bit of a low point.  Jen's birthday is in Feb and needless to say, I am glad it is a short month.

At 8:12pm on September 17, 2022, Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong said…

Sharon, 

I am truly sorry for what you have been going through. The way his family is treating you is inexcusable, they should know what you meant to him and what he means to you. The lack of being acknowledged as his fiance is also traumatic. I have no advice for you, just know that you aren't alone there are people that will support you. Reach out to friends and other family members. 

This site was very helpful for me, but it seems as if it isn't as busy as it once was. Maybe try one of the other groups.

I am here to listen if you want to vent.

My heart is aching for you.

Lisa

 
 
 

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
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Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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