Shaina Hollins
  • Female
  • Gum Spring, VA
  • United States
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About Me:
My name is Shaina and I am from Gum Spring, Virginia. I am recently married to my husband, Greg, as of February 8, 2011. We've been together since February 7, 2010 but he's amazing so I'm happy and so proud to be his wife.
About my Loss:
I am a bereaved parent of my first child, Elyssa Kalani. She was due to be born in April 2011 - when I lost her I was 28 weeks along...I was so close.

The day we found out, my husband and I were having such a great day with his two daughters (ages 9 and 6) going to the youngest one's gymnastics lessons, shopping, then to the birthday party of a friend's 6 y/o son. While at the party my doctor's nurse (who is also a friend of ours) was present and I mentioned to her that I hadn't felt the baby move yet that day and was pretty sure I hadn't felt her move the day before, either. She suggested for me to drink some soda and eat some birthday cake to try to get Elyssa moving. When that failed to work I called the doctor's office and they asked for me to come to the hospital to track the baby's heart rate.

We arrived at the hospital shortly after but due to the hospital's regulations Greg (my husband) had to stay in the lobby with his girls. They took me in the back and the nurse proceeded to search for Elyssa's heartbeat with a doppler. When she failed to find it she called the dotor in the room to try with an ultrasound machine. The doctor signaled to another nurse in the room and that nurse left the room only to return with Greg. As soon as the door shut behind him the doctor informed us that she was unable to detect movement in Elyssa's heart chamber and she was no longer with us.

Two days later on January 31, 2011 at 4:18pm I delivered my first child, my daughter, my baby angel.

Elyssa Kalani Kawauchi Hollins
4 lbs. 11 oz. 14 1/4 in.

Shaina Hollins's Blog

Baby Blues

Sunday I was supposed to have gone to my baby shower. Two months from Sunday was my due date. But instead yesterday makes 3 weeks since I delivered my guardian angel. I am so empty without her. I feel so alone. So sad. So angry. All I've ever wanted was to be a mommy...it was finally going to be my turn. Instead it was all ripped right out of my hands - every hope, every dream, every thing. It isn't fair. I want my baby back.

Posted on February 22, 2011 at 7:47am — 1 Comment

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