I am lost, and tired. Have not been sleeping well for days now, and became sick. Yesterday night. when I was wide awake and could not fall back to sleep, it hit me. It is that time of the year again. My brain tried to forget, but my body did not. My dad's birthday is in 5 days, and it will be 5 years since my mom has, I can't even say that word, I don't want to say it, then it will be real. All I can do is ride it out, wait for it to pass, and try to distract myself as much as I can. But it…