I wonder about all the losses I've had in my life I'm 35 and I've lost most of my family everyone that I was close to are gone now the hardest has been losing my bf he was my best friend I wish I could understand why and how I'm suppose to go on what's the purpose of losing everyone I loved and what is my purpose now in life

depression is horrible I can't seem to get out of it I miss my bf. He didn't have a easy life he was 52 when he passed and he was getting his life together and things were going ok for him and us and now he's gone and all his dreams and what he wanted to do and us to do is gone it seems so unfair to him and us I just don't understand why this had to happen 

its been 4 months since I lost my bf I have lost other people in my life but this has hurt me so much we knew each other for 4 years. He was my best friend and him passing away so suddenly has broken my heart. Especially since we knew each other for a short time I will always be grateful that I knew him and we had the time that we had together wish things were different and he wasn't gone and I didn't have to feel this pain every day