Jan
  • Erie, PA
  • United States
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About Me:
Just turned 50. 18 days later found my husband of 17 years dead. He was only 53. Now im all my children have. Ages 23, 16 & 12. I just dont believe it. We are all traumatized. We keep expecting to hear him in The house. Its so wrongly quiet. So tired of the what ifs and why didnt i's and if only and on and on and on and on!!!! God didnt do this. God and I kept him alive...willed him life for 5 1/2 years following his triple bypass. His heart was too damaged. We didnt know. We never expected this. We thought we had more time.
About my Loss:
Only 3 weeks ago i had my best friend, the keeper of my memories, the one who knew me, the one who loved me completely, the one who could hurt or love me like no other, the one i could count on. We had our problems like any others, but there was hope every day we opened our eyes. I feel like im going insane. This just isnt ok. I dont understand. This isnt fair to our children. In an instant, a split second, my whole world..me..our children and their world...turned upside down and spun out of control. No telling where or when or if our lives will ever come to rest. I dont know how to make this pain bearable.
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At 4:46pm on June 15, 2016, Jan said…
Day 54 of my new existence.........
 
 
 

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bruno cesar belesso replied to Naomi Kolczak's discussion loss of husband
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
Feb 24
bruno cesar belesso left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
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bruno cesar belesso replied to Entony's discussion Movies about grief that actually understand loss — any recommendations?
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
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