Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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James I really do feel like we will be with our lost loved one. I want to go with Rocky. I tell him that all the time. He doesn't say anything, I don't know what he thinks about that or if he believes that will be the case...but I believe it. Except for the killing myself part. How will God let me in heaven if I do that, but I think about it, plan it constantly these days. That is where my head is at most of the time now. That's how afraid of this I am. It's crazy, I know.
Hi James,
I could really relate to your post about having to tell your wife the bad news. I also had to give the news to my first wife. I will never forget kneeling in front of her and taking both her hands and telling her through my tears that she had at most two months to live. She died three weeks later.
My husband was officially diagnosed with Stage IV lung in March of 2014, after nearly a year of undiagnosed pain. By the time he was diagnosed he needed 200mg of Morphine to lessen the pain. I lived thru his agony and told him I would trade places in a heartbeat. He'd tease me that he was leaving me a rich widow...I'd break down into tears, saying I'd trade all the money to keep him with me. Then I begged him to take me with him to heaven. In his typical patient way, he told me "NO, it's not your time". He died in November, 2 weeks after our 27th anniversary. I keep telling myself it's a good thing I miss him as much as I do, that it means we really were deeply in love as well as deeply loved. We were lucky to have our "soulmates"! A lot of people never get to experience that kind of love.
Know that what you are feeling at any point in time is normal. I'm seeing that we all have different emotions at different times. We will find our way!