Gyla Lynn Darden
  • Female
  • Dudley, NC
  • United States
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Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
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Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Laurie Laing replied to Gyla Lynn Darden's discussion Coping with your loss in the group Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter
"I feel the same way, I cant run from my self.The pain is physical every part of me hurts. My girl loved to laugh and I know she would not want me to be in pain and sad all the time so I try to put on a happy face but inside I am screaming how is the…"
Oct 22, 2020
Laurie Laing commented on Gyla Lynn Darden's group Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter
"I miss her so much it feels like a giant hole has been ripped through me.I have her ashes here and talk to her all the time but i really still cant believe she is gone.The pain is so unbeareable at times.I also take car of my mother who has dementia…"
Oct 19, 2020
Monique Tolle commented on Gyla Lynn Darden's group Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter
"It is such a horrible thing to experience losing a child. No one can grasp what it's like unless they too have suffered this misfortune. It isn't right that my daughter left before even any of her grandparents did. But, I know she had…"
Oct 17, 2020
Laurie Laing commented on Gyla Lynn Darden's group Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter
"I miss her so much it feels like a giant hole has been ripped through me.I have her ashes here and talk to her all the time but i really still cant believe she is gone.The pain is so unbeareable at times.I also take car of my mother who has dementia…"
Oct 17, 2020
Laurie Laing replied to Gyla Lynn Darden's discussion Coping with your loss in the group Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter
"Thank you I feel like if I dont cry every day then I might explode.Missing her is so very difficult. I grieved for my father since I was 4 now I will grive for my daughtet for the rest of my life...It hurts sooo very much"
Oct 12, 2020
Laurie Laing joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
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Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Oct 10, 2020
mandy wilinski joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
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Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Oct 9, 2020
Monique Tolle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
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Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Oct 4, 2020

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 42 years old, married with 2 children and one angel.
About my Loss:
My daughter was ill off and on for several months. We would take her to the emergency room and to her family doctor and they would always send her home saying it was an infection or gastroenteritis. One morning she woke up with a really bad headache and earache, so I took her once again to the emergency room. They sent her home with antibiotics and said she had an infection. 2 days later her fever was getting worse, and she started having abdominal pain in the upper right side. I took her back to the emergency room again and they did an ultrasound of her gall bladder which came back negative, and had to give her fluids by IV because she was dehydrated. They gave her what is called a GI cocktail and pain medicine which relieved it. So once again they sent her home. By Monday her temperature was 106.4 so I took her to her family doctor. She looked all the tests up on the computer that the hospital had done and said she didn't see anything abnormal. She decided to do a blood and urine culture (which takes 3 days to come back). She told be to alternate tylenol and motrin to help with her fever, and wait for the test results to come back. By the next day she was in and out of responsiveness. She was throwing up so hard that her face would turn purple and at times I thought that she would pass out. She had trouble walking because she was so weak, at times she would collapse. So I called the ambulance to take her to the hospital. They finally admitted her to the hospital that night. They gave her phenergan for the nausea which didn't work, she would still throw up. On Wednesday they did a CAT Scan and found that her spleen was enlarged and her gall bladder wall was thickened. The surgeon decided that this was where all of her trouble was coming from. He scheduled the surgery for the next day. After her surgery he spoke with us and told us that it was one of the toughest surgeries he had done. He said that her liver was so enlarged that it was wrapped around her gall bladder. (this was not mentioned with the initial consult after the consult). He told us that he had contimplated opening her up for the surgery, but decided against it, since it would leave a big scar on her and she was only 18 and didn't want to scar her up like that. He said that he say bile leaking from her liver, but was sure where, so he put a penrose drain in to monitor how much drainage. That evening she seemed to be better. She was talking on the phone and had an appetite again. She ate most of her supper. Around midnight she started running a temperature again and the vomiting started again. She was in severe pain, and her blood pressure was dropping. After five days of continuing to get worse, I finally requested she get sent to another hospital. They sent her to UNC Chapel Hill. The head surgeon spoke with us and told us that her bile duct had been severed in 3 different places and she was leaking bile in her abdomen. She was increasingly having trouble breathing and required more oxygen everyday. The surgeons there repaired what they could for the time and put in drains to drain the bile. Because of her lungs being injured from the bile they couldn't go in to repair the entire injury until she was better. A week after she was admitted to UNC she was on life support. Within 24 hours of being put on life support we were told that she needed to be put on ECMO (heart/lung bypass) of she wouldn't survive the night. We were told she only had a 50% chance of surviving the ECMO machine and that was if she survived being put on the ECMO machine. She was on ECMO for 5 days and put back on life support. At first it seemed to have helped a little. In the end she ended up with our Lord on July 23. She battled for her life for 37 days.

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Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 9:22am on January 4, 2011, Dee Davis said…
Gyla ,I hope this new yr will be alittle better for us all.My Jamie has been gone since Sept, 5 09, and the lonelyness is still rough.I cried most of the Christmas .Was used to making all 3 of my children my mothers nut cake,now I don't make him one and that started me on a day long crying spell.  Spent agood bit of time in church to help me. I plan to start writting his book this yr.and do some fund raising for United Ceerabral Palsey, in his name.Also I need to work on my health, getting my energy up, because I've been shut down too long. I used to push Jamie to exercise, so now I got to push me. I'm going to try and make this a better for me, doing alot of things in his name.I have crocheted smiley faces and giving them out to anyone I meet during the day and tell them it is Jamies smile ( he was well known for a BIG smile ) then I share his story of coming thro so much in his short life.The more I tell it to strangers the more I feel even more proud of him. I pray you can find some way you can celebrate your son . It has really helped me, and I know it will help you.My prayers are with you. Your sister in Christ Jesus  Dee
At 6:25pm on December 17, 2010, Ammy said…

Gyla, where are you?  I tried to send you a private message, but I can't find it on your page.

Please check in.  I know you are....I don't even know which word to use, but I feel you are not doing well.  I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry for all of us and I'm fighting hard to hang on myself.  I'm praying for you and the Lord is there with you, even if you can't feel Him right now.  {{{{BigHug}}}}  Ann

At 2:07pm on December 14, 2010, Ammy said…

Gyla, How are you doing?  I feel for you because I know how I feel.  My son and I had many disagreements also, but I know that is natural between a child and a parent.  I did a lot of "what if's" in the beginning, but none of that really matters because things can not be changed.  I know that my son knew I loved him and would do anything for him to help him.  I'm sure your daughter knew the same about you.  I do have bouts of guilt because I could have said more to him about how much he meant to me, but I've always been kind of a private person.  Keeping my feelings (both good and bad) mostly to myself.  Whatever things we may have done wrong have been forgotten and forgiven.  We just need to be able to forgive ourselves.  I sincerely hope you are improving some.  I know I am starting to have some days when it is not as hard, but when those bad times hit they still hit hard.  Just know that I think of you often and you are in my prayers.  Ann

At 9:18am on November 22, 2010, Ammy said…
Hi Gyla, For some reason I am worried. You have been in my thoughts and prayers throughout the last few days. Please write something. I'm worried you are not okay. I understand taking time to be alone for a few days. I myself can't seem to get on here every day, but you were pretty consistent. Miss you.
At 8:41am on November 10, 2010, Dee Davis said…
Gyla,I've never been there but I did spend alot of time at Lenox Baker CP Hospital in Durham alot when they were first treating Jamie. Then the Shriners took us to Goldsboro for his feet a few times. I just have a big heart and everyone has a twin somewhere in this world. Jus hope they are not going thro our pain! I hope we can stay friends, and help each other thro our pain with Gods help Dee
At 9:21am on November 08, 2010, Geanette Ceballos gave Gyla Lynn Darden a gift
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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