Gina,  I too lost my husband to cancer.  I was 51 he was 54 and that was Sept 08.  It is very difficult.  I am finally starting to feel more like a person and then my son became ill and passed away July 17, 2011.  I feel like a broken person, not whole.  I put all my faith into God and that keeps me going.  Plus my son left 3 beautiful children I have to live for and I have a 27 yr old daughter.  Just know you are not alone.  If you need to talk, let me know.  Send me an email.

Reenie

Hi Gina,

My husbad died July 27th of last year of melanoma the doctor told us was all removed.  Everyone said once you get by the "firsts", birthdays, wedding anniversary, holidays it gets better.  Ken will be gone one year this Wednesday 7/27 and I can't imagine that a magic wand will be waved over me and everything will be better!  I have two children a 24 year old daughter that still lives at home and a son who bought a house and moved out just 3 months before my husband died.  I don't have any desire to run around will my old "married " friends because I don't feel like they understand.  How can they, I can remember when my father died I can only now understand what my mother must have felt.  I truly believe you cannot imagine what it is like until it happens to you, and then you find yourself wishing it was as "easy" as d as you "imagined" it  would be when it actually happens to you!  I am 55 years old and also feel like I to am way to young to be a widow......but the idea of starting over dating etc. repulses me...I had the love of my life and don't want another!  So my desire now is to live as good a life as possible so I can one day meet Ken again.  Take care. Chris

Hi, Gina.  I just read your last message to me; sorry I didn't answer it before.  you asked me what kind of cancer we were fighting, and first of all, you are so right at "we" fought it!  My husband had Crohn's Disease - inflammatory bowel disease - for over 30 years and had already lost his colon and had only about 8 feet of small intestine left, so we lived with that disease, but he kept going.  He had a very severe case of it, but he was pretty much "that's life" and he was like the energizer bunny; he wouldn't give up or stop due to the Crohn's.  He was diagnosed with rectal cancer in January of 2010; he had been in the hospital in November for his Crohn's, had scopes and scans and no one found anything, although in January he was still anemic so his dr. did another scope and a piece of tissue came out with the scope "accidentally", so they sent it to pathology and it was a piece of the tumor. The tumor had grown through the lining and muscle into his pelvic cavity, and attached itself to his iliac artery, so when he had the surgery, they couldn't get it all out, because the surgeon was fearful that if he tried to remove the tumor from the artery, he might nick it and Don would have bled out; he only weighed maybe about 100 lbs or less at that point.  So I asked couldn't they get a vascular surgeon to remove that part of the artery, and just reconnect it?  The surgeon said probably, but it was still too risky and Don was too weak for another surgery.  He was probably in the hospital for one week out of every month after that.  It's telling me I have too many characters, so I"ll sign off.  I welcome you messages; they help!  Thanks.

Hi Gina, nice to hear back from you. You mentioned Phila. I am in a hotel in Philly right now. I am a caregiver for a now friend that is getting treatment at Cancer Centers of Amerca for Ovarian cancer. They are really great here. amazing care. I would recomend it to anyone. I volunteered to take her because during Harry's treatment he said he didn't know what he would do if he didn't have me with him. He felt terrible when we heard of how many people go through this alone. I have been taking her since Jan. and so far it has not been too difficult to see all the people there with all there different cancers. She seems happier that she has someone to take her and talk to and I think it is good for me to be doing it right now. Who knows maybe I will continue with others in the future. I know Harry would be happy to know that.
Please keep in touch and if you want to talk outside of here my email is mswhiz@optonline.net. Take care Jeanne

My love died of pneumonia,  following surgery for an agressive cancerous brain tumor.  We were trying to buy time and it didn't work.  We didn't get to radiation or chemo, he had an anemic condition that just depleted him.  He was diagnosed middle of January and died March 30, 2011.

Hi Gina

My husband was in stage IV also he was so stronge for the kids and me he didnt like to be waited on alot was always doing things for himself till the cancer made him so weak. So I know what your going thur the pain and suffering feeling like your whole world is crashing down around you. My youngest is 19 now and doing better his school really helped him with coming to grips about his fathers death. I dont know if your school offers any kind of group support for the kids but if they do it would be a great help for your childern my son an daughter both attended these group meetings. I called the school and they asked me if i was interested in sending them to the after school program and i so glad i did it help them to talk to some body there own age. Please feel free to concact me when ever you want my email is Judygkemp@yahoo.com I live in IL. dont know if your from around here if you are maybe we could get together if you want.. Gina i know how hard it is to be stronge for the kids but you need to take care of yourself too, i lost so much of myself that i was ready to end it all please if you feel that you need to talk or anything that you can email me and we can talk for as long as you need to .

Take care Judy

Gina -

I would be happy to chat with you; I lost my husband of almost 32 years to cancer last November.  It's been a difficult road; we had a second grandchild coming in June and another daughter is getting married in Sept and we are all painfully aware that he won't be here for these two events.  Just let me know how I can help; sometimes it just helps to let it all out... 

Cnthia