Cindi B
  • 40, Female
  • Katy, TX
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm 27 and moved with my boyfriend to Texas a little over a year ago. I'm an only child with one thriving maternal grandmother who helped my widowed mother raise me in a small town in Illinois. We'd only been in Texas a few months when Mom's heart stopped the first time and it was a year of back and forth until she just couldn't fight anymore. Now I'm back in Texas feeling more and more alone everyday.
About my Loss:
After a year of one health complication after another my mother passed away at 58 on July 30th, 2011 from CHF. It still seems so unreal. We were always a team, and now I'm all alone and in a new town and with no one to talk to about it, not that I'm all that great at talking about what's bothering me.

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Cindi B's Blog

Almost 7 Months

 It's been almost 7 months since I lost my Mom. Sometimes I still can't believe I haven't talked with her in so long, and that I never will again. Being so far from home has made it easier to pretend that she's back home and fine. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept that she's really gone forever. I feel like my life is still on pause and I have no idea where to go from here.I wish I could talk to my Mom about this. She always knew what to say.

 I still have a lot of…

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Posted on January 23, 2012 at 12:55pm

Yet Another Wave

Once again I feel a mess. I had a few really good days, and then yesterday I woke up feeling raw and sad. It's still lingering on today. Sometimes I wonder if it will always be like this. Start feeling like my old self and then  *Boom* back to feeling like I did the day it happened. I just want to lay on the couch and not move. The thought of showering seems too strenuous. What kind of life is that?…

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Posted on November 8, 2011 at 3:37pm — 4 Comments

Writting What I Can't Say Aloud

 

It's been almost 15 weeks since my Mom passed away.

I have so many thoughts constantly running through my head. Some days I feel crazy. I can't, or don't talk about what I'm feeling. To anyone. No one understands, so why worry or burden them with my horror stories? Which is what my life feels like; One big never ending horror…

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Posted on October 11, 2011 at 6:45pm — 1 Comment

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
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Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
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