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Katherine
Just do what is in your heart, I have memorialized my son in many different ways - usually things I know he would love. The first year on his birthday we had a jmembe drum circle with all his friends and family and a a chair left empty for him. It was awesome really. I felt he was there and playing along. My husband has a tattoo in his memory. This year I had a good friend of his make a collage out of is concert tickets and special events he would go to for electronic music. It is so wonderful and I know he would think it is totally "SICK"! I also had his tee shirts made into a comfy blanket that I can wrap up in. I would be happy to send you the info for that. We planted a tree with neighbors at his school... it can be anything and I feel that doing something is like still giving him a gift. None of it is easy but easier for me than not doing it. I hung a bell in his room and every morning I open the curtains ring the bell and say good morning my sweet boy. Oh how i miss that smile.....it is so very difficult. I hope you can find something that will touch your heart and bring you some peace. Hugs to you and everyone.
My husband and I started pulling out Xmas decor to go through and down size. We haven't been able to even think about reestablishing a new kind of holiday since Lesly's death. This year we decided to make an attempt and put up something that had 'good' memories attached to it. The few things out so far were some of his mother's decorations. We both loved her so much and she always made the holidays enjoyable.
I wish I could say that I was 'dealing' better but I'm really not.
I admire all of you who are able to actively memorialize your children. It's such a positive thing to do and I hope to be there some day. it's just oh so painful to think about her for too long. I would be interested to know how you got started with the process of establishing a scholarship in memory of your child. Seems like such a positive thing to do.
To Us:
Here they come again - always without warning,
Those holiday months - how they trigger my sense of mourning.
From the music to the decorations, and all the holiday cheer,
Makes my heart sink even further - oh how I wish that you were here.
I'll always hold you in my heart for that's the only light,
That shines in spite of my darkest days - for you my love, sleep tight.
Gale - wonderful celebrations of your son's life. And I am so sorry to hear about your sister. My heart breaks for Janelle also. Sending you lots of prayers tonight
Hello ladies - sorry I haven't been on site in a bit. We had a fund raiser on June 6 for my son's art scholarship and then the next day, which was Sunday, I had a mass in Michael's name. Tuesday, June 9th was the one year anniversary so the mass was to celebrate his life with my family. Such an emotional weekend and all. Then to top it off my sister who is a year younger than me is dying of liver cancer. She came to the service but is now in the hospital in Boston. She has been through a lot. She too has an only child, a daughter named Janelle. Michael and Janelle grew up together and were like siblings. Evamarie (my sister) and I are very close and so knowing that I'm going to lose her is just heartbreaking. The one saving grace is knowing that she will be with my precious son Michael. He happens to be the godfather of Janelle's son and so I have put her in my will as my living heir. It's all terribly sad yet part of life. Hugs to all of you -
Gale - sending you lots of love today. We also did the same thing at my son's high school and gave 2 scholarships to deserving students. It is important to always honor own children's memory and keep their true spirit guiding us to help others on this world if we can. Hugs to everyone.
I wanted to thank you too Connie for your kind and helpful words. Yes, I still can't believe it is for "forever", it will be a year on June 11th and the pain seems like it was just yesterday. Gale, that is so wonderful that you set up a scholarship in your son's name. Your in my prayers.
Thank you Connie for those the helpful words - I've also heard that the 2nd year can be hard in a different way. Perhaps the truth that they aren't coming back sinks in more and more. It's not so much about the anniversaries, but more about "holy crap this is forever." I had a good cry yesterday following a beautiful fundraiser in Michael's name. The scholarship is the Michael Colby Art Scholarship and on May 28th I awarded the first recipient $1000 at the High School Michael attended. It was sad yet empowering. I was able to tell people what a beautiful son I had and to give Kudo's to the recipient.
Anyway today is a mass for his 1 year anniversary. Say a prayer for me please.
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