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Comment by Sarah Davis on July 7, 2013 at 7:19pm

I was widowed when I was 20, my boyfriend of nine years passed away last year when I was 29 and my boyfriend of 9 months just passed away at the end of June.  I feel like I'm never going to have a normal life.  Those 9 months with the last boyfriend were the best of my entire life and it seems cruel that we only got such a short amount of time together.  Sometimes I wish we'd never met so that I wouldn't know how happy I could be.  I don't want to do all of this all over again.  Grieving is miserable and it seems like every time I'm able to move on it happens again.

Comment by Jessica McClain on July 2, 2013 at 6:55pm

My husband passed away Aug 29th of a sudden hypertension heart attack I am 28 and we have a 3 year old son. I never thought I would be raising our boy alone. It took me this long to start the grieving process. Not only did I lose my best friend but we also had to move out of our house and get homes for our dogs. Our son keeps asking me when his Papa will be home or if we can go see him. I am having a hard time trying to explain to him that his Papa isn't coming home. My husband was home a month before before he passed away he was working out of state for 3 months and it didn't work out so he came home. I think my son thinks that him gone is something like that. Does anyone have advice on helping me to help him understand?

Comment by Lori Marie Barker on January 17, 2013 at 5:17pm

I found my soulmate, Anthon Hitson, dead in his car on 11/20/2012. No one knows why, not even the M.E. Living without him is unbearable. I miss him so much. He has been my best friend since 10/22/2004 and my world, my everything, my soulmate since 4/4/2007. We were not legally married but under the eyes of GOD, we were 2 souls united as one. I try to be strong for everyone but I can only hold it back so long. I honestly can't believe I am 29 and my life is done. I don't feel like I could ever love again or be with anyone else. One of my male friends gave me a hug and I felt violated. It was just an innocent hug. I just want to be in his arms again. No where else.

Comment by Nicole Moreno on August 19, 2012 at 1:40am

Hi to you all. I am a 38 year old widow and I have no idea how to do this. I was with my husband for over 17 years. I lost him to a horrible accident on Memorial Day - 6 days after we celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. I am all of a sudden a single mom of a 16 year old son. I have never felt more alone. From the time I left my mom's house at 18 - I have been with someone. My husband was my best friend, my whole world and now I find myself so alone and confused and mad! I am so overwhelmed at being a single mom and a widow. I miss my husband so much - more and more every single day.

Comment by Kali Grainger on August 17, 2012 at 9:58pm

I am 27 and am now a widow... we were engaged and had decided to get married next summer this past June 24th... On June 25th my fiance went to work and never got to come home. He was killed underground in the mine he worked at. He left behind myself and our now 6month old daughter.. I recently found out that the company knew the machine was faulty and let them work with it anyways... All I can think about is that he could still be here had the necessary safety precautions been taken by the company.  Today we buried his ashes and it was not an easy day...

Comment by Betsy Arnold on January 22, 2012 at 6:24pm

I'm 47 and lost my husband in 2009...and I still don't know how to be a widow. We had no children because he had a life threatening genetic blood disease he could pass down. We thought of adopting, but he contracted a second blood disease and eventually cancer (Leukemia) and died after a failed stem cell transplant. I'm trying to move on with what he wanted me to do...a career as a music therapist. I am in my internship now, and hope to have a job as a music therapist in hospice when I am done. He was an awesome man, my best friend. I'm lost without him.

Comment by P W on January 16, 2012 at 6:20pm

I am 41 years old. Last year, my son went away to college, my daughter got her driver's license, and in October, my husband died of pancreatic cancer. He survived nearly two years after his diagnosis and we were able to care for him at home with the help of hospice, until the very end. He passed peacefully in the night and I have few regrets. 

But, now that he is gone, I feel like I have no purpose. I am lonely and unfulfilled. Empty.

Somehow, I kept my job through the whole ordeal and I thought I would be able to focus on my career to help me heal, but I don't even like going to work any more. At home, I can't get motivated to tidy up the house or do laundry or cook.

My kids are sad and doing poorly in school, but how can I hold them standards that I myself can not meet? We are all in counseling, but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Maybe worse.

We muddled through the holidays without him and our 20th wedding anniversary would have been on December 20th. I don't know how I managed to get through that day.

I've been told that healing takes time, and it has only been three months. I know that I suffer less than he did, and I feel like a petty child for wallowing in self-pity.

Comment by Ben Holifield on October 27, 2011 at 5:55am

On September 19th, 2011 my fiancee passed away from pancreatic cancer at the tender age of 34 years old.  When we met each other it was love right away.  We were both working professionals with busy lives and had always endured bad luck in love.  Neither of us were interested in dating anyone until that day I walked into Starbucks to order a coffee that I never crave.  For some reason that day I wanted a coffee and 3 hours later I walked out and called my mother to let her know that I just met my future wife.  I learned later that she emailed her sister when she got in her car to tell her the exact same thing, that she had just met her future husband.  We took off on a whirlwind romance, falling head over heals in love.  I had never known love like that nor did I ever dream of such a thing knowing that life could never live up to such extreme expectations.  But it did, and she was the most amazing woman I've ever known.  She was an obviously beautiful woman, but the difference between her and other beautiful women I have known was her beauty inside.  She always made it a point to befriend anyone who wanted/needed a friend.  It didn't matter who you were as long as you were nice she would share a laugh with you.  Her beauty could only be surpassed by her intellect.  She was an impressively intelligent woman who had taken the world by storm.  She was very successful in so many aspects of life.  She had more talents than I could possibly speak of but most of all she knew how to love unconditionally.  She brought joy into my life every day and has forever changed who I am. I've never known love like I knew with her, I never knew strength until I watched her fight this horrible disease, and I never knew who I was until I saw myself through her eyes. She brought out the best in me, and made me believe in myself, made me believe in her, but most of all made me believe in love. I will always cherish every moment that we shared together, and always wish there had been more time.   
 
Losing Emily was hard enough, but anything that could go wrong afterwards did.  All of Emily's possessions that she had with her in the hospital were in a family members vehicle (including our wedding rings, her wedding gifts to me, and even her ashes that had just been picked up).  While his vehicle was parked someone broke in and stole everything.  In this very sad moment someone ripped away so much from myself and her family.  Not only did they take things that we could have to remember her by, but they took her ashes.  That was our way to say goodbye to her.  Her request was that if she passed away before our wedding day for me to go out to the ocean on that day and spread her ashes.  I feel so lost, and not having the ability to say goodbye makes it even worse.   
 
I waited my entire life for her and now she is gone.  I feel so lost, numb, and angry.  Everyone in my life.... friends, family, and her family, keep telling me the same thing..... That God brought me into her life so that she would know true love before leaving.  She told me the same thing, and that she would have never made it as long as she did without me by her side.  They all say that God wanted me there to take care of her and that they couldn't imagine a better person to be there for her.  I take pride in the fact that she loved me, and I feel so incredibly blessed to have had her for the time that I did.  Also, knowing what I know now, would I still walk into Starbucks that day???? A million times over I would!!  I was able to be there for her and help her in a great many ways, but it's the current situation I find myself in that has me paralyzed.  How do we go on?  How do we pick up the pieces and start putting this puzzle back together again?  The puzzle can never be complete as she was the most important piece of the puzzle.   
 
I guess we all come here hoping to find the answer to one simple question.... Why?  I know there is no answer to that question, but like many of you.... I just hope to find a way to cope. 

Comment by Susan Z Z Wooten on October 17, 2011 at 1:43pm

I have no easy answers, just hope I can help some.  I'm going through still another rough cancer scare...a friend of 20 yrs is dying of pancreatic cancer....

I lost my husband to cancer in 2005, and later got engaged (I never wanted to be married again---the pain), but you never know.....and then he died of cancer just before we were married in 2009..  So i guess I am twice widowed.  Now my dear friend is dying.....it seems to never end. 

My point is, time does help ease the emptiness a little...not a huge amount...but enough so you can get through the days again.  I still cry a lot.  I miss my husband the most because we were together for over 10 yrs.  My fiance a year.  I feel alone and hurt deep in my chest, and sometimes feel like lying down and just dying too, but I don't.  Kids will keep you going. 

There are no easy ways to move forward.  That's the truth. 

I tried to imagine if he lost me, wouldn't I want him to move forward and live as well as possible?  remember, all our lives are short.  I'm only 45, but knowing at least half is gone, but also half is still ahead of me, well, you have to move forward. 

Still, I can't imagine letting a man get near me again.  The loss is too hard, and I know that loss twice already. 

Just do the best you can.....do it for your kids, if not yourself....and someday you will be better.....not well, but better.

God Bless us all---

and know you are not alone.....xoxoxoxo

Comment by adriana gonzalez on July 30, 2011 at 12:19am

where do u go from here? how do we live without them???to be honest with u ladies...thru all the years my husband cheat it on me but it still hurts!!! n i would do anything to have him back

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