You're too young to be a widow

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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 139
Latest Activity: Apr 15, 2023

Discussion Forum

How do I get up?

How so i get up off the floor where she died and do the things i need to. She died yesterday morning, i did everything i could and i couldn't save her. How do I do this. I'm broken, lost, and alone.…Continue

Started by Jarrod Roettger Apr 15, 2023.

Don’t know where to start... 2 Replies

I am new to this group I never wanted to join and am hoping someone has some insight on how to live each day without the love of their life. I’m a very recent (1/10/18) 37 year old widow. My husband…Continue

Started by Lisa Lennon. Last reply by Vicki Jan 24, 2018.

Falling in Love with Spouse's Family Member or Best Friend

I'm new to forums and discussion boards as a way to connect. Please forgive any redundancy in my hopes of reaching out.I'm looking to get some perspective from this community on a tough but not…Continue

Tags: spouse, member, family, friend, best

Started by Lauren Dec 11, 2017.

People can be so heartless sometimes 8 Replies

I know that, people dont know how to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when they are young and we are young, but the hardest comment I have had to endure since the passing of my…Continue

Started by ShingingLight1967. Last reply by Bryan Kelly Reeves Oct 8, 2017.

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Comment by Felicia R. Howard on February 12, 2015 at 10:18am

I lost my estranged husband Dec. 8th, 2014 and it is still hard for me. We were separated and I never got the answers to some questions that I had. I loved my husband unconditionally and tried to make my marriage work.  He died of a heart attack in another state. He had heart problems from years of unhealthy living and wasn't a candidate for heart transplant. People think that I shouldn't grieve because we weren't together, but we have a 21 year old son together and we were married for 9.5 years. I met him when I was 21 years old. I never thought I would be a widow at 44, I always thought widows were in their 60's.

Comment by Katie on February 4, 2015 at 8:42am
Hello. I have never participated in a support group before. I lost my husband last week at the age of 34. He had been completely healthy prior. We live in New England and were still experiencing the effects of the blizzard. We went to bed that night after a day of snow blowing the driveway. He said he was tired, but neither of us thought anything of it since he'd been out in the cold snow. Just before 2 am he began thrashing around, as if having a nightmare, I tried shaking him to wake him, then suddenly he just went still. I called 911 and began CPR, but I knew in my heart he was gone. Due to the terrible weather conditions, it seemed like forever before the rescue arrived. They transported him to the local hospital and he was pronounced dead at 3:29.
The services were completed yesterday. Up to that point I felt like I just needed to make it until then. But now that it is over, I'm left feeling even more lost and alone.
He was my entire world. I do not know how to function without him.
Comment by Betsy Arnold on February 1, 2015 at 9:53pm

Hi Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss. You have found great support here. My name is Betsy, and I lost my husband October 31, 2009. He was 43, I was 45. Taking things one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time even, is all we can do. You are definitely not alone.

Comment by Sarah S on January 30, 2015 at 11:21pm

hi there I am new to the group I recently lost my husband of almost 6 years, he was 43 years old.  I am 38 and this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.  I currently take things one day at a time

Comment by Leesa Lynch on January 29, 2015 at 3:33am

This is Leesa accidentally spend my comment before I was done we would have celebrated our 28th anniversary Dec 27th but we didn't get to because he passed away in our living room on Dec 6 2014 I'm so angry with God right now I believe that there is someone that God made for this you and a lot of people never met theirs bc they are in to big of a hurry to find their soul mate but I did when I was young I mean like 12 and he was 13 we had a very good marriage hardly fought love to spend time together everybody knew we came together when we were out n bout n if we didn't that was the first thing our friends ask was were was our other half we were suppose to grow old together but instead I get to spend it alone I want him back I need him so I can be whole bc half of me went with him

Comment by Leesa Lynch on January 29, 2015 at 3:21am

Hi my name is Leesa I'm 46 and this lost my soul mate my best friend the father of my children my lover we were suppose to grow old together we spent our youth together we met when I was 12 and he 13 on the school bus we had raised our children we and set everything up so he could retire early and we go see the world together that we had planned but in six weeks after we had first gone to he doctor he was gone and I was left alone God I miss,him 

Comment by MarieSte on December 27, 2014 at 10:35am
Comment by Robin on December 26, 2014 at 8:57pm
Hi, My name is Robin. I lost my beautiful Joe 12-3-14. I came home from work and found him on the floor. It was very unexpected. I have so many emotions and can't process this. I feel like I could have saved him. He had a heart attack 2 yrs ago while at home with me, and I did save him. The doctors said it was a miracle. He had 100% blockage from a clot. The reports haven't came back yet, but I know it was another heart attack. I'm so lost and alone. I only want to be with him. I want him to come get me. I want to know he is safe and happy. I think if I could know he is ok I would somehow be able to feel better. He had so many demons here on earth. And I want to know they are gone and that they can't torture him any longer. He was everything to me. He took such good care of me. He was my best friend for 23 yrs. We had only been married 2yrs. Our anniversary was 10 days after he left. 12-13-14. We were married on the 21st anniversary of our first date. He's been part of my life so long I don't know how to cope without him. And I'm not sure I want to. I miss him so much. Christmas was absolutely brutal. And my birthday is New Year's Day. I don't want to even think about it. I just want my Joe back.
Comment by Shawna T on October 31, 2014 at 3:56pm

Hi, I am new to the group and wanted to introduce myself.  Like you Courtney, I cannot believe I am a widow.  I lost my husband this month and it feels like I will never recover and be able to move forward.  I have a 3 year old and if it weren't for her, I think I would actually ball up in a corner and just die.  The pain is so deep and constant, it is hard to imagine this feeling could last for years and  years. 

@ Theresa, don't let anyone take away your grief.  You have a right to feel what you feel and that is normal. 

Comment by Courtney B. on May 18, 2014 at 3:46am

Hello. My name is Courtney. I became a widow six months ago, I was 29 and my husband only 34. I am at loss without him, I feel like this world has nothing left to offer me. We only had 10 years together and everything I do reminds me of him. I came to this site to connect with people that are going through what I am. Everyone that does not understand loves to give me advice, but they have no clue what this feels like. I literally do not feel like a person anymore. I don't know how to do this. I lost everything they day he passed, I feel the deepest sorrow for him. I can not believe I will never talk, touch or see him in this life. I sometimes like to pretend that he will be back, just so I can get through the day. But the clock never stops and he never walks through the door. I guess, I just want to know how do I do this, how do I live a lifetime without my love. I am young, and I do not know how I got through six months, I can not even begin to fathom six years. No one understands, my friends have their husbands and children, and I mourn alone.

 

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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