Comment

Comment by Karen R. on July 6, 2011 at 10:39pm

Hello to everyone, hey Semary.....sorry to hear that you are having such a bad evening. What your 4 yr old said is so heartbreaking. My youngest child misses her big brother tremendously also. I know how hard it is to find comforting words to tell them when you too, have no comfort of your own. This life can definitely be cruel, so many things don't make any sense. In a "perfect" world, we would all live forever and second best would be that we only passed away at a very ripe old age, peacefully, just drift into a eternal sleep. I know how hard it is to be 'mommy' when you really don't feel like it. Somehow, we find a way to press on, day after day. I hope everything works out for your younger child as well. If the final result is a speech delay, just know that there are interventions that can help. I have a friend that experienced that with their young son and he is just fine, you would never know that he had a delay.

Keep venting and don't worry about sounding negative, it's ok, we don't feel so positive all the time, at least I know I dont.

Comment by Karen R. on July 6, 2011 at 10:26pm

Hey Sue, nice to hear from you.

Comment by Semary Rose on July 6, 2011 at 9:29pm

I had a bad evening.  My 4 year old keeps saying how much she misses daddy and maybe if we give God a present he will give us daddy back.  It is killing me.  I am so in despair tonight.  My 2 year old is beng evaluated for a speech delay and I need my rock to tell me it is going to be ok regardless of what happens and I don't have him.  This life is cruel.  I am sorry for being so negative tonight, but it helps to vent these emotions.  I feel so alone with my children, even though I have a great family.  It does not take the place of my husband and father of the babies.  Please keep me and my babies in your prayers.

Comment by mercy on July 6, 2011 at 9:56am

Karen, I've thought of contacting my mom through a medium too. You see I live thousands of miles from home and when mom died, I wasn't by her side. I was told she was very worried about me not being there and how her death would affect me. I have experienced the death of my three young brothers and my dad who died at his prime but have never felt the need to go to a spiritual medium. This is the first time I feel a strong need to do so. I really want to know if mom is at peace and if she approves of the life I'm living now. My family and my religious beliefs forbid me from doing this but I feel like its the only thing that will bring me peace of mind. I'll do some research online and see what I find. I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. I was a wreck last night but this morning am feeling a bit better. One day at a time is all I ask.

Comment by Sue Waxman on July 6, 2011 at 4:52am

Good morning everyone. It is 6 am and I am getting ready for work. I see we have some new friends joining our family on this site. I welcome you. This group has been a new family to me. I will catch up with you all later when I get home. Hugs Sue

Comment by Karen R. on July 5, 2011 at 11:03pm

Thanks Denise for sharing your thoughts and experiences on this matter. I have seen John Edward's show a long time ago, I dont even know if it still comes on tv. It's funny how I use to tell my children to try and contact his show once I passed away so I could communicate with them,  I never in my wildest imagination would have thought I would be thinking how to contact my child,  this is crazy. That's great if your experience gave you some comfort.  All I am hoping for is just a teeny tiny amount of peace. I would feel awful if my grief is disturbing his peace.  I can't help feeling like he belongs here with me and that he is angry that he was robbed of his young life.  I don't think that I will totally toss out the idea but I think it would be hard to find someone that truly has this gift.

Thanks again, I truly love you all 

Comment by Karen R. on July 5, 2011 at 10:46pm

Thanks Semary, you were not insenitive at all. I just want to truly feel that my son is at peace, I need to really believe that. That's probably true that they don't function the same way they once did. My pain has not subsided one bit.

Thanks for all the support and insight. Hugs to everyone.

Comment by Denise Murphy on July 5, 2011 at 10:17pm

Karen,
I have gone to a few mediums in the last 9 years, my dad came through, another time my mom and my sister. They have told me things that no one else could possibly know, like at the time of my sister's death she was excavating her yard to put a pool in and the medium said he see's a caterpillar, not the bug the big yellow machine I was dumb-founded. I think that it can help your grief, but it does not take your grief away. I would also advise you to go for a private reading, because I went for a gallery one and was very disappointed when my family did not come through. You don't get all your answer's but being in such a spiritual atmosphere is very peaceful. I know my religion looks down on physic's, however after seeing John Edwards on TV and in person I believe that some do have that gift. I also believe we all communicate with our love one's, but it's nice to not think it's only in your head and heart, hearing someone else confirm it gave me some peace. It also validated that they truly do communicate with us, there was situation's that they brought up that happened after they were gone. I am not suggesting for anyone to go but do some research on the computer and decide for yourself. I keep everyone in my prayer's.
God Bless,
Denise

Comment by Semary Rose on July 5, 2011 at 10:14pm

I did not intend to get so philosophical, but I guess I am just sharing my coping skills in an effort to perhaps provide comfort, if even for a minute.  And sometimes a minute is all we can ask for.  I love all of you.  I hope my comments do not seem insensitive.

Comment by Semary Rose on July 5, 2011 at 10:05pm

Karen, I feel so much of your pain.  I do not believe that our loved ones have emotions of pain, disappointment, disapproval, disdain, or any other negative feelings once they pass on.  I feel like they are in a different realm of being where those emotions are no longer relavant to their being.  They now are in a place of just "being".  Human form and emotion, thought, etc is temporary.  Believing this is my only comfort, even if my beliefs are, at times, fleeting and not so much of a conviction.  I don't believe your son is unable to "be" because you are in so much pain.  I do believe that he is surrounding you, regardless of your acceptance of his passing or not. His love for you is undying and real.   I always have to be careful to not apply too many human emotions to my husband in the after life.  I don't believe he now works the same way he did and we still do, I guess that is my bottom line.  It all boils down to what you believe happens when we pass on. I wish for you peace.  Whether that is one step at a time or all of a sudden one day you feel a tiny bit better about how everything unfolded.   

And don't let me fool you, I still wonder what my husband "thinks" about us and me and his death and my actions every day.  I am so sorry for your pain.  I wish I could hug you.

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