Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from Wisconsin. I met my boyfriend, Kyle, last March through a mutual friend. We clicked instantly. He was tall, buff and had the most amazing eyes. I felt butterflies in stomach right when i saw him. We chatted for awhile and i came to learn he went to Minnesota to play football for 5 years. Football was his life and his biggest accomplishment. He was so proud of everything he had done at only the age of 25. I fell for him right there and then. We spent all last summer laughing, spending every single minute with each other, going to country concerts, riding his motorcycle all around the town and just having the time of our lives. He was so amazing and so perfect. We started to get really serious towards the end of summer and made everything official. We did everything together. He was my whole life. We spent the holidays together, it was perfect. We used to talk about our future a lot. How many kids we wanted, where we should get married, the house we would live in. It was amazing. He would talk about our future with such excitement. We decided it was time for us to get our first apartment together. Our official move in date was August 13th. We were both so happy and excited to finally have a place to call our own. He made everything perfect for me and made sure the house was VERY clean everyday. That was my favorite part of Kyle. He was a super neat freak. Our apartment was never dirty. He was perfect. We spent the first week setting everything up and making sure it was nice and homey for us. We loved it. We would come home each day after work and we would just sit and watch tv, make dinner together and just enjoy each others company. Everytime he would walk into the door, his face would light up when he saw me and he would come over, give me a kiss and say "i missed you today". This happened everyday and i loved every second of it. The love we had was something really special. We both felt it and were both so obsessed with each other. Everything was starting to fall into place. I had the perfect home, the perfect boyfriend who wanted to marry me and an amazing job. On November 2nd, Kyle and i laid in bed and talked about how much we loved each other. He told me he was so happy he met me and that he was the happiest he had ever been. That was the last time Kyle and i were able to talk about our happy future. On November 4th, Kyle left our house at 5:30, on his motorcycle, to deposit his check and get a haircut at 6:20. We lived 10 minutes from the haircut place. He snapchatted me at 6:00 and said "im early" with a goofy face. I snapped him back and told him to go in already. That was the last time i ever got to talk to my amazing boyfriend. I started to clean the house for him when he left. The next time i looked at the clock, it was 7:45. I knew something was wrong, i could feel it in my stomach, it felt like i was going to puke. He was always so good at telling me he got places safely when he was on his bike. I called my mom hysterically crying telling her i could feel something was wrong. She calmed me down and right when i hung up the phone, the police buzzed into my apartment. And at that moment i knew my life was over and that i had lost the love of my life. Everything after that is a blurr. At 6:40 when Kyle was on his way home to me, a car didn't see him on the motorcycle and there was an accident. The guy got scared because he didnt see him and thought he could then cut him off across the street. The suv flipped, kyle slammed on his brake and tried to lay the bike down, but he was too late. The car hit him and that's where my boyfriend died. A block away from his parents house, and about a mile away from our apartment. This has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me. He was my world. And its so horrible because we never got the chance to have a future together. We were robbed of a future at just the ages of 24 and 25. He was so amazing and i miss him everyday. Its been almost a month and i still feel like it happened just yesterday. I loved Kyle with all my heart.

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Hey Brittany,

I read your story and I have to say......it's pretty heartbreaking. I can't even imagine what your going through right now, but I can say that in time things will get better eventually. You will have your good days, you will have your bad days...you will have days that all you will be able to do Is lay in bed and cry and you will have days when you feel like it's getting easier to cope. I lost my father in December of 2013 2 days before Christmas and it was a pretty terrible situation, had it not been for the support and love of my wife and family I probably would be dead or in jail. Death is so hard to deal with, you have to try to find ways to grieve, cope and manage with day to day life. Get a therapist, talk about it when you need to....come here and vent when you are feeling down. Everybody here will uplift you. With that being said, I just feel the need to let you know if you ever want to talk....even though you don't know me I will listen. It's going to be tough around the holidays...keep yourself surrounded with people that love you and care about you....this is so important. The thing about death is even though with time it seems to get a little more easier and manageable to cope, the empty feeling inside never quite goes away. I have turned to the bottle, pills, anything to numb the pain but it only makes it worse.....I don't want you to turn to those things, it's only a temporary relief from a bigger problem. I am just so sorry for your loss and I hope that this can be a safe place for you to turn when you feel like you cant go on another day. You are in my thoughts and my prayers. God Bless

Hi Brittany,

I know it's been 4 years since your post.  I just found this site and wanted to respond because I experienced a similar shocking and tragic loss 3 months ago.  My boyfriend got hit by a car and died instantly.  We had been together for more than 10 years in a very complicated relationship however he was my soulmate.  I am devastated and broken.  I wanted to follow up with you and see how you got through this awful grief and mourning journey.  I can't stand the thought that I will never be able to see him again and be with him again.  I would appreciate any thoughts and suggestions on how to get through this.  The pain is unbearable.  Thinking of you and hoping you are doing ok.

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It was not supposed to be like this

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