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Comment by Katherine Ellis on July 27, 2009 at 8:04pm

Here is what has happened so far. The police came to the house and kept us under house arrest until they could get a warrant for a house search. They did not find any drugs in our home from James. But I had a bag of Roger's pain medication in my dresser drawer. He uses this because of his cancer surgery. We had went on a trip ages ago and I forgot I just put them in there. They arrested me and booked me. They could have put me in jail but instead released me after taking my finger prints and picture. I now have a court date for the 24th of August. I need to hire an attorney. No money so will have to depend on a public one. This thing just keeps getting worse.

Comment by Gail Richardson on July 25, 2009 at 3:40am

Katherine - this is such terrrible news - I'm so sorry - I'll keep in contact via email - sending massive hugs to you and your family today - as if you haven't already had enough pain and grief - try to keep strong my love
xx

Comment by Katherine Ellis on July 24, 2009 at 8:28pm

WE HAVE HAD A CRISIS HERE. JAMES' (our son) FRIEND AND OUR ADOPTED SON CHRIS WERE DRINKING IN THE GARAGE. THEY HAD BEEN DRINKING FOR A LONG TIME TODAY. WHEN I LEFT AROUND 1:30 TO GET MY HAIR DONE CHRIS ASKED ME TO BUY HIM A PACK OF CIGARETTES AND I SAID YES. WHEN I GOT HOME AROUND 4:30 JAMES WAS PAST OUT ON THE COUCH AND CHRIS HAS FALLEN ONTO THE FLOOR. I DIDN'T THINK MUCH ABOUT IT. ROGER CAME HOME A FEW MINUTES AFTER I DID AND TRIED TO GET CHRIS ONTO THE COUCH. CHRIS WAS DEAD. WE TRIED TO DO CPR ON HIM UNTIL THE AMBULANCE CAME BUT HE NEVER CAME BACK. RIGHT NOW THE HOUSE IS FILLED WITH COPS AND DETECTIVES. THEY ARE WAITING FOR A WARRANT TO SO THEY CAN SEARCH THE HOUSE. THEY SAID THAT WILL TAKE ABOUT 4 TO 5 HOURS. AS IT STANDS NOW JAMES COULD BE AN ACCESSORY TO A HOMICIDE.
WHEN THEY DO A SEARCH THEY WILL FIND DRUG AND NEEDLES IN JAMES' ROOM. THEY HAVE US IN THE LIVING ROOM AND FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE WE GO, WATCHING US.
I DON'T KNOW HOW JAMES WILL HANDLE THIS. CHRIS WAS HIS VERY BEST FRIEND. HE STAYED HERE WITH US. I'M SCARED OF WHAT JAMES MIGHT TRY TO DO.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT CHRIS IS GONE. HE WAS ONLY 24 YEARS OLD. HE HAD HIS WHOLE LIFE A HEAD OF HIM. MY HEART IS BREAKING. HIS POOR PARENTS WILL HAVE TO HEAR IT FROM THE HOSPITAL.
WE ARE SUPPOSE TO LEAVE AT 3:00 THIS MORNING. GOD HELP US ALL.

Comment by Ann Edmondson on July 24, 2009 at 12:37pm

GIANT {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} TO EVERYONE TODAY!!

Comment by Ann Edmondson on July 24, 2009 at 12:36pm

Laura ~ Since your daughter was killed in an accident, you have the right to request copies from everyone involved. According to the Freedom of Information Act they have to release this information to you as long as you can provide some type of documentation that you are the mother.

Comment by Katherine Ellis on July 24, 2009 at 12:42am

As we get ready to move on to another month, I just wanted everyone to know that I am thinking of you all. Even though we may not be having the brightest of days, we are here and there is hope. Someday the sun will shine again. The birds will sing. Until then my thoughts and prayers are with you all. God Bless

Comment by Gail Richardson on July 22, 2009 at 1:44am

Sadly Laura - this is where the system lets us down - he is her husband - you are her mother how can you NOT be next of kin? Another beaurocracy we could all do without. One of the girls in my group has been waiting for the coroner to hear her daughters case - it was three years in February. In the meantime she is left high and dry with no answers. It isn't fair.
I'm glad you and your husband are able to talk (listen) - some men are not able to and it makes life so much more difficult.
My daughters name is an old Arabic name - it means Eternal Light. Our story is quite complicated and far too long to write here but if you would like to read more about her please visit her website - http://legobeaver.com/meshael/meshael1.html - I'm off to work now so I send you a hug and speak soon xx

Comment by Laura Villarreal on July 21, 2009 at 6:29pm

Understanding of what happened is all I want. Because I am not her next of kin I am required to go through her husband who is not very communicative or forthcoming with information. Remember, I am in Texas and they are in Alaska. It is just so frustrating! I realize there will never be closure but baby steps moving forward is okay with me right now.
I do talk to my husband and he knows to just listen unless I ask him directly for an answer. I also meet with a behavioral therapist.
Meshael is a beautiful name...is there a history behind it?
Thank you again for being there and thanks for the Angel hugs!

Comment by Gail Richardson on July 21, 2009 at 5:25pm

Laura - oh sweetheart I wish I could come by and just give you a big hug.
It makes me so angry that the powers that be are so slow in issuing these documents to us. Having received that most dreadful news - you now need to understand (as much as possible) what happened. This does not give you 'closure' (there is no such thing anyway) but it does help to make the reality of what has happened sink in.
It may or may not help you to move on - you are still in the very earliest stages of grief. It is the hardest thing to accept our children are gone and it can take months, sometimes longer for that to happen.
I can really empathise with you over your 'plans' - I was moving to Australia at one point in my earliest stages of grief (I'm still here in London though haha). Are you able to talk to your husband about how you are feeling? Men can sometimes grieve very differently to women but that is another topic!!!!
I'm loving your ideas for helping the animal shelters - I support one myself (actually in Houston I think) and have sponsored a dog in Meshaels name - she would love that!!
I hope you soon get those answers you are looking for - and I hope that they will enable you to move on but don't rush it. There's no quick answer on this I'm afraid. But I am glad that you are finding some help from this group. That's another reason we are here
Sending you Angel hugs
Gail x

Comment by Laura Villarreal on July 20, 2009 at 6:08pm

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Gail. I am at the point right now where I get up....have that big void....then go to bed. I feel so numb and useless. I do have somewhat of a routine during the day because I do have my husband and 4 dogs to take care of! I just look forward to tomorrow hoping for a little less pain and sorrow; it hasn't happened yet. I do blog on myspace and also have my personal journal of poetry and letters written for/to my daughter. What is especially difficult is that I am still waiting on official documents from the state of Alaska--the accident report, the death certificate, and the M.E.'s report--I need to read what happened. I need to read how she died. Then I can move forward. Does that make sense?
We are looking at ways to memorialize my daughter. There is a guest book on legacy.com in place and I am looking at helping non-profit animal shelters in Alaska and Texas. But you are right, I am making no big decisions right now. At times I bounce off the walls! I tell my husband I want to move out of this house--20 minutes later I am making plans to remodel this house! So many thoughts, most of them all mixed up! But since finding this website and this particular group I have really felt better!
My mantra is one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.

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