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Comment by Debbie S on August 10, 2012 at 12:21am

I wish I knew what to do. I hurt so bad and am so lonely even though I have friends and family. There is still an empty hole in my heart. I'm so lost no matter who I turn to. Please just please let this pain ease up alittle. I never knew it was possible to hurt so bad and to miss someone so much. To just hold him one more time to hear his sweet voice tell me he loved me WHY WHY did you have to leave me??? WHY

Comment by Debbie S on August 9, 2012 at 10:35pm

I know everyone says time heals. This is all still so hard! I lost the love of my life 5 months the 7th. I'm still not able to do much. I am seeinf a therapist and saw a doctor who said I needed to have my thyroid checked. Found out I had hypothyroidism so they started me on medicine for that. I still can't sleep and just want to stay home all the time. I know he would not want me to be living like this but its so hard without him. He was my life and I'm lost without him.  

Comment by Jeanne Potter on August 6, 2012 at 4:44pm

Your right Kim, nothing will make you happier as I can attest to that. I guess I was very lucky that I had the urge to stay in bed but didn't act on it. I was already on antidepressants when he died and I don't think that is the reason that I didn't. I just knew that he was going through so much that he was finally at peace and I would just have to learn to live with it until we meet again. Everyone is different and react differently to grief. We all grieve in our own way. I just hope that you and Ann start to feel somewhat better at least soon. 3 months is a very short time. I lost my friend that I was caregiver for 3 weeks ago and I feel very bad as we became very good friends and I was the only one with her when she died. Being executor of her will is keeping me busy but that means I have to deal with her crazy relatives that just want to get in her house and take out what they can. That is not going to happen as she left them all nothing, just what they deserved.lol Take care.

Comment by Kim Phillips on August 6, 2012 at 4:27pm

Hi Jeanne.  I just lost my loved on 3 months ago.  I want to stay in bed but I don't.  I appreciate your advice however since I am a therapist, medication at this point will not make the pain of the loss go away nor will it make me happier.  I believe that I need to experience this pain and grieve.  If I find myself in a years time to have the classic symptoms of depression I will surely go for help.   Thank you again for your input

Comment by Jeanne Potter on August 6, 2012 at 4:15pm

Ann and Kim, you both sound seriously depressed. Not being able to get out of bed is classic. I hope that you are both seeing someone and that you are on some kind of anti depressants. I am not sure how long it has been since you lost your loved one, but it really sounds like you are in the first days of it. Although it never goes away most people start to fall into a routine of some kind and you both sound like your routine is hiding from everyone. Not a healthy situation. Please get help if you have not already. It really can get better, but never will be the same. I push myself everyday and it has been a year and a half. I miss my husband more than I can say, but I have to go on. I am still here and I am trying to have a life. It will never be the same life, but it will be the best I can make it. God Bless you both!

Comment by Jeanne Potter on August 6, 2012 at 4:15pm

Ann and Kim, you both sound seriously depressed. Not being able to get out of bed is classic. I hope that you are both seeing someone and that you are on some kind of anti depressants. I am not sure how long it has been since you lost your loved one, but it really sounds like you are in the first days of it. Although it never goes away most people start to fall into a routine of some kind and you both sound like your routine is hiding from everyone. Not a healthy situation. Please get help if you have not already. It really can get better, but never will be the same. I push myself everyday and it has been a year and a half. I miss my husband more than I can say, but I have to go on. I am still here and I am trying to have a life. It will never be the same life, but it will be the best I can make it. God Bless you both!

Comment by Mary M. on August 6, 2012 at 12:07pm

Ann and Kim, It's trite to say that time lessens pain, I think its like everything else in life we adapt and continue doing what we need to be doing day by day.  The pain is still there we just get better able to move past it to go on living.  Just my two cents worth.  Hugs to you both.

Comment by Kim Phillips on August 6, 2012 at 9:22am

Ann I understand.  I have to get myself out of bed bc I have animals to feed but if it wasn't for that I would stay in bed all day and night.  I don't want to leave my house and it takes every ounce of strength to even go to mailbox or grocery store.  The pain and loneliness is get worse as time goes on.  Whoever said time heals/pain lessens is full of crap.  Blessings and hugs

Comment by Ann on August 5, 2012 at 11:08pm

I have been in bed for three days.  Maybe tomorrow I will be able to go out.   I think I could stay in bed a month and no one would know. I am peaceful at home, surrounded by photos of my mom.  The hum of the air conditioner lulls me to sleep.  It is peaceful and cool, almost like floating.  That's all I want to do is float.

Comment by Mary M. on August 3, 2012 at 7:49am

Ann, an apt description.  How are you doing?  Sounds like yesterday was a really bad day .. hope today is a little better  Hugs to you!

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