Comment

Comment by michael sandoval on February 15, 2011 at 7:50pm

Dear Jeff, my condolences. I am also struggling. Horrible disease.

Comment by Jeffrey A. Jahr on February 15, 2011 at 7:35pm

My son Grahm died from Cancer 3 years ago. I find myself still struggling to deal with this fact. I have days where it seems that my purpose in life has lost it's meaning. My wife has alienated me and treats me like I don't exist. My career has fallen overboard and I have gotten pretty resentfull and untrustworthy of medical science. This disease is awful but so is the treatment. I don't know where to find strength and hope. I spend most days trying to suppress this so that i can function as a human being but it sucks.

Comment by michael sandoval on February 15, 2011 at 5:51pm

Dear Barbara, my condolences. My Denise was also misdiagnosed. I know the feelings, the anger, everything.

Comment by Barbra Ingrassia Fairman on February 15, 2011 at 5:39pm

Anyone who knows what I feel like, please let me know. I need to communicate with people who know how I feel. My brother was 45yrs old. His life was robbed from him right before our eyes. We were helpless. He couldn't even talk at the end. At the end, he went into the hospital 12/26/10 and died on 3/30/10. So Fast. Before that he was healthy, always took care of himself. So those people who say that he isn't suffering anymore. 3 months!!!! I just can't hear that right now, along with "it will get better". Well IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER.

Comment by Barbra Ingrassia Fairman on February 15, 2011 at 5:26pm

I lost my brother to brain cancer almost 11 months ago. It was an awful death after he was misdiagnosed. He was in NYU, a top hospital where he had so called genisus working on him. Once the hospital realized their mistake they couldn't get rid of us fast enough. My brother was a real good guy who couldn't wait to get home to his family at the end of the day. His wife has since moved on. She moved back to Ohio with his kids and is now in her second relationship in 11 months. My grieving and ANGER are incredibly overwhelming and I need a place to vent. I feel like it is getting worse. I could scream but there is no relief.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 14, 2011 at 10:13pm

it seems like a curse now, not a blessing....too many bad things happening, things that cant be dealt with....i dont know how people get out of this rut

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 14, 2011 at 10:10pm

I feel how you do Michael....no happiness, dont know how it will ever come my way again....dont see how....all the things i once enjoyed i could care less....without our loved ones here with us to share in life, it just doesnt have any meaning....i just stay in bed alot these days, i dont have motivation, i do have health problems, but, even if I didnt I wouldnt have the motivation to do anything....life is meaningless, at least to me....im an empty shell

Comment by michael sandoval on February 14, 2011 at 9:47pm

Dear Denise,
happy valentines day. I miss you so much baby, I can't put it in words. You made this world a wonderful place, and now my life is nothing. I can't find happiness anywhere. I know that you want me to be happy, but happiness has no meaning anymore. The only thing that comes close is remembering our time together and that makes me sad. Smile on me baby, I love you and miss you.
Love,
Moochie

Comment by Judy Kemp on February 13, 2011 at 9:38am

We walked hand in hand thur life. Happiness and love all around us making each day a blessing so many things we did together an as a family you were our rock you made my life complete... then came the sorrow and pain when we learned that cancer had invaded our lifes. Now were left trying to put the pieces back together but they dont fit like they use to there a large whole in my heart the pain so bad at times sorrow dont beging to cover how i feel with out you here holding my hand you could always make me laugh when ever i cried with a look or just a hug the love and joy fading away and all that left now is sorrow and pain. I keep finding things around the house that remind me of all the love and joy we shared and i try to hold on to that but sometimes i just want to hold on to you to feel your arms around me to hear your laughter to know that your not in pain anymore you were my life for over 25yrs and now having to learn to live with out you is so painful.... Been told to move on with my life but my life stopped with you. You taught me to love and belive in love you gave me so much including our childern thru it all you have been here with me now that your gone i dont know how to go on the pain and sorrow that sweeps over me each time i think of you is unbearble at times i hold on to our wedding photo at night the only way i can sleep, its not the same as holding you in my arms. I pick up teddy bear and think of you and how you laught when you told me that if i ever need a hug and you werent there that teddy would keep me safe till you came back to me i keep him with me always wishing you were here... I cry and scream at god and the drs for not being able to help for letting this cancer take you from us till i cannt talk anymore sometimes it makes me feel better other times it hurts so bad. Happiness joy love pain and sorrow hand in hand thur time if i could come to you i would for that is when i shall know the joy of love again when i see your smiling face hold you in my arms again only then will i be able to live again you are my life no matter what thats what i keep thinking that no matter what we will be together again and when that happens i will never let you go again your the other half of me your my joy happiness and love of my life i miss you ...... i still ask why you why not someone else to go thru this why you when there so many others who have taken lifes with guns and drugs dose god have to take the life of a man with so many who loves him and needs him i just dont know how to accept that your gone ..... I feel only pain an sorrow now ive cried a river of tears over you and still i cannt stip crying the pain is still so bad that at times i must stop just to get my breath if anyone had told me that my world would end like this i would not have belived them not iam a empty shell with out you i go thru the montions but nothing seems right anymore just giving up trying to deal with the pain and sorrow they take a up a large part of my day now at night its worst than anything i ever lived thru the only thing that helps is holding on to teddy and thinking of you as i lay curled up in an ball waiting for my life to end so i can be with you..... Tried to drink you off my mind that didnt work to well at all so now i sit hear or lay in bed thinking of you how i can hear your voice telling me that you love me making me laugh god i wish you were here i would gladly trade places with you if only i could so tried of being strong for everyone so tried of doing everything by myself just want to be with you to feel whole again ..... you helped me learn to love you showed me happiness and joy then came the pain an sorrow of losing you you told me to trust in us now what do i have to trust in now that your gone.... I feel so empty with out you so full of pain and sorrow and yes hate for the cancer and for god letting this happen i know i shouldnt feel that but sometimes its all i can feel you promised me a life time together t

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 9, 2011 at 5:42pm

I'm so sorry Michael, hang in there....I have been struggling too with my own self....I was severely short of breath and the dr.. rushed me here and there, and not sure how it started....it was scary....I have experienced a loss of another kind now too, its like a death, of the guy I was seeing....I dont need one more thing bad to go on....me too am missing my time with him the most....I do know how you feel

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